Paying the kids to do housework

YORKSHIRELASS

victory wrote: »

Not me personally but I know of a mum that everytime there was any kind of mess made by her children she went upstairs into their rooms with it and left it on their bed:rotfl: a bit extreme I think but apparently her kids absolutely hated coming back home to find that their beds had things plonked on it and with a bit more huffing and puffing and tooing and frooing it all stopped and now they realise to clean up after themselves and it is a much easier household to be in:D

I did this last night. DS1 had been for a shower. I gathered up the damp towel, boxers, muddy footie kit etc off the bathroom floor and dumped it all in the middle of his bedroom floor. Because he likes his bedroom tidy he didnt like that. And I stood over him this afternoon while he sorted the kitchen out.

I have to accept its going to be an ongoing battle I guess and I just have to tough it out.

As for activities, this is a hard one for us because myself, OH and DS1 are outdoorsy types. We love walking, cycling and the lads like fishing. DS2 likes competitive sport but beyond that he would rather be inside on the computer. We just have to try and compromise but I can see a time coming when he refuses to come camping with us!

victory

YORKSHIRELASS wrote: »

As for activities, this is a hard one for us because myself, OH and DS1 are outdoorsy types. We love walking, cycling and the lads like fishing. DS2 likes competitive sport but beyond that he would rather be inside on the computer. We just have to try and compromise but I can see a time coming when he refuses to come camping with us!

Camping is not my thing, the others love it but I don't like the mossies and the getting up so early just for some outdoors bacon:rotfl: when for the price I pay we could stay in a travelodge have a shower with a lovely bed etc but we go camping, they can't wait to go next week:D

raven83

My girls who are 11,10 and almost 8 do chores to earn money. If they want to buy something then they will do jobs including, hoovering, wiping down the tables, emptying out the bins, putting their laundry away and keeping their rooms tidy. It is a good motivator to get them to learn the value of money and if they want something, they have to work for it!

So many kids are know are lazy and their parents through all sorts of money and spoils their way and I look at them and think that they are doing their children no favours!

GobbledyGook

victory wrote: »

Not me personally but I know of a mum that everytime there was any kind of mess made by her children she went upstairs into their rooms with it and left it on their bed:rotfl: a bit extreme I think but apparently her kids absolutely hated coming back home to find that their beds had things plonked on it and with a bit more huffing and puffing and tooing and frooing it all stopped and now they realise to clean up after themselves and it is a much easier household to be in:D

My friend has had similar issues with her teenage sons (and her husband). She went on strike for a week. It was absolutely hilarious (for us - not the males in her house). Highlight was when her 15yo asked her when she was making dinner and for over an hour she just said "Yeah, I'll do it in like 5 minutes" every time he asked.

Her husband went nuts when he had to go to work late one morning as he had no clean shirts. She pointed out that the washing basket was empty so suggested all his shirts that he'd put in there must have been stolen. She gave him the number for the local PCSO on her way to lunch. :rotfl:

It's been brewing for months, but she handled it brilliantly imo. Some will think it very PA, but she'd tried talking, shouting, nagging etc beforehand and it hadn't worked. Since then she has had polite and contrite males in her life. Fingers crossed it stays that way.

Errata

she handled it brilliantly

She certainly did! Nobody notices what the housework fairy does but everyone notices when she doesn't do it.

springdreams

victory wrote: »

It's calmness against the storm, that's what I've learnt , in the old way of handling it, it's 1.45 and still no sign of lawn mowing I would be handling it badly, fuming, shouting, going on, all the negatives and more, which makes it all the more intense and worse, both ways but learnt to say it once, sit back, wait, ignore the questions/ I can't/ won't/ the lawn doesn't need cutting/ why me / why does it have to be done today I know for a certainty now that even if all the above takes place the lawn will be done:D

Ignore, be factual, sit back, go deaf, wait it out, job done:D

That's great if that tactic works for you. However, my DS would just simply not mow the lawn. Then when the designated time for cutting the lawn has come and gone, and I then ask DS why he did not do the job I asked him to do by the designated time, he will just say I forgot to remind him :mad:

FBaby, I think your teens and mine (13 year old DS) came from the same batch - your posts could have been written by me. Fortunately I only have the one child, otherwise I would be ready for the insane asylum ...

GobbledyGook

springdreams wrote: »

That's great if that tactic works for you. However, my DS would just simply not mow the lawn. Then when the designated time for cutting the lawn has come and gone, and I then ask DS why he did not do the job I asked him to do by the designated time, he will just say I forgot to remind him :mad:

FBaby, I think your teens and mine (13 year old DS) came from the same batch - your posts could have been written by me. Fortunately I only have the one child, otherwise I would be ready for the insane asylum ...

Could you set the time by something else? Like "Shout me when you've finished mowing the lawn and I'll put dinner on."

springdreams

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Could you set the time by something else? Like "Shout me when you've finished mowing the lawn and I'll put dinner on."

Nope - he'd rather starve. He will also willingly go without pocket money, his mobile phone, xbox time, outings with friends etc. rather than get on with his chores without being nagged. I have tried taking away many things to get him to do things around the house and garden without me having to constantly be on his back.

However, the only way I get him to do things is to nag, nag, nag and then start having a temper tantrum myself. I often have to stand over him to make sure he does his chores

And it is not like I only recently started getting him to help out. He has been helping around the house ever since he was a toddler and was able to use a duster to help dust the furniture (admittedly he didn't do that task very well, but he nevertheless helped).

I think he likes the sound of my voice at a very high volume ... ;o)

bossymoo

Put photos of messy bedrooms on Facebook tagging child and friends quoting "xxx will not be online / out / contactable by phone today as s/he is tidying the pit"

My kids are 3 and 5 and do help me a bit, plus tidy their own toys away, but they are a bit young for pocket money just now. I use the "no day" threat... They say "no" to dressing, teeth cleaning, other helpful thing and I reply happily "oh, great, today is a no day???" And plonk myself down and ignore them for 10mins lol (if it even takes that long) they are usually begging me to let them get dressed or whatever. Naughty mummy.

Will definitely use the no wifi / lifts / special requests if they go into lazy mode. I'm a working lone parent, they have to pitch in to keep this ship afloat, and that starts as soon as they can follow me round with a duster

BigAunty

Had a friend visit over the last week, a lone parent to a 12 year old.

She is now rueing the day for not embedding into him at a younger age the obligation to help around the house. She says she has ended up with a lazy son who'd rather play on an ipad than do the slightest thing around the house. He's not motivated by money so she can't tempt him with pocket money to do chores.

He was present at our discussion and piped up 'But I always lay the table round dad's house' and she replied 'That's because he makes you, you have no choice. You are free to do it in our house but you refuse'.

She now realises that he has such a resentment about domestic chores and such high levels of apathy that she can't appeal to his good nature to do anything. She is considering how to address it and told him to expect changes but its clear that he has absolutely no appetite for helping out at all.

I told her about my sister's inlaws where they raised quads. From a young age, the house ran like clockwork and without any kind of prompting or demurring, all four of them used to pitch in with lots of household chores - no whining, no need to be asked, it was natural to them.

Once the tiger is out of the cage, its hard to put it back in.