Brother's Girlfriend Moving In

Confusedandneedhelp

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Okay, this is why I came on here, to get opinions.

So she shouldn't pay anything? To be fair, if she doesn't pay anything, she is going to come out with a heap of money at the end. Renting her two bed flat and living somewhere for free.

It's not just me benefiting by asking her to pay a nominal amount, she'll still be quids in.

I mean I could just refuse to let her move in, refuse to sell and prolong things for the 2 years anyways. But I'm trying to find the nice way around it all.

So its your way or no way.

And no you couldnt refuse her to move in, just like your brother cant refuse your daughters to move in.

Mojisola

pollyanna24 wrote: »

I came on here to get opinions and I got them.

Instead of feeling hard done by because the GF's financial situation is so much better than yours, think about the positives.

You and your children have had time in a family home with your brother sharing the bills.

Your brother is happy to live with you until you are in a position to get your own place.

He gets the chance to try living with his GF without having to make a formal commitment to move in somewhere and tie himself into a rental contract or mortgage with her.

She gets the change to try living with him without burning her boats. She is making some money from her flat (and, if they marry, your brother will benefit from that).

They get time together alone all weekend because you and the girls stay away.

If you want things to run smoothly for another couple of years, focus on the positives and it could work well for all of you.

Some adjustments are inevitable. You may find that they will want to start having meals as a couple while you sort out yourself and the children. There may be some weekends when you and the girls need to stay at home so don't promise them every weekend alone.

As long as you and your brother aren't out of pocket after she moves in, don't worry about the finances. Personally, I couldn't live with other people without contributing so she what she offers - that will be revealing about her character.

What she earns from working or renting out her flat isn't any of your business.

Confusedandneedhelp

Mojisola wrote: »

GF paying a share of the bills won't count as income for pollyanna and her brother.

No her share of bills wont really count towards an income (though it can do under rent a room scheme in general, but not applicable) but 'rent' is an income.

DigForVictory

Eek.

Putting the money bit on hold, have a dekko at that sharing places website & have a chat with brother. Before he has chat with herself, if possible. Right now, you have a leading say. Once herself moves in, the dynamics will almost certainly change & the classic code for stife is "two women one kitchen".

I agree with avoiding rent issues - but a third of heat & light & water may be a bit high given two small girls. Perhaps say to brother let's keep things as they stand, but when the new bills come in we can sort a balancing figure? Keeps herself out of the nitty gritty of household maths initially & as soon as she isn't OK with that both you & brother can review matters. You as what changes does she propose (as the whole kitchen & bathroom access battles may have been mostly fought out) & him as just how serious are we about each other & are they going to make me take sides (oh, now that you *can* bet on.)

What happens presently if one or both of you come down with noro? Who takes time off work to mind sick children? Cover, if at all, whilst one goes to a school show, or dentist, or afterschool club? How does he forsee that changing? Does herself know he has Uncle duty one evening a week? How does brother plan to cope if mum & dad can't accomodate you some weekends? And just how & when do you plan to sell up & seperate?

This doesn't help you sort out what to charge herself - and anyway brother may calmly say still 50/50, no further questions. I think trying to future proof getting exisiting details codified & by positively planning when it's all going to change anyway may help you both cope with yet another woman in the house!

All the very best of luck - which I believe favours the prepared.

CH27

So basically your brother has subsidised you & your children & now you want to profit from his girlfriend moving in when your brother is delaying the sale of the house for your benefit?

Confusedandneedhelp

CH27 wrote: »

So basically your brother has subsidised you & your children & now you want to profit from his girlfriend moving in when your brother is delaying the sale of the house for your benefit?

Thats the way everyone except the OP see's it.

The OP see's a meal ticket because the GF earns more money than she does.

tea_lover

Does the gf even want to move in or is this just hypothetical at this stage? In her position there's no way I'd consider it!

fivetide

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

Will you be declaring this income to HMRC? Will you be telling your mortgage provider that a 3rd party is paying towards the mortgage? Will this be her home, or yours and your brothers and when they argue, will he be the one staying at a friends or will she be?

and re joint groceries: This situation will explode. I guarantee it.

Won't matter at all

https://www.gov.uk/rent-room-in-your-home/the-rent-a-room-scheme

As I said in post 6 already OP is possibly best asking on the housing board for some informed advice rather than scare stories.

pollyanna24

DigForVictory wrote: »

Eek.

Putting the money bit on hold, have a dekko at that sharing places website & have a chat with brother. Before he has chat with herself, if possible. Right now, you have a leading say. Once herself moves in, the dynamics will almost certainly change & the classic code for stife is "two women one kitchen".

I agree with avoiding rent issues - but a third of heat & light & water may be a bit high given two small girls. Perhaps say to brother let's keep things as they stand, but when the new bills come in we can sort a balancing figure? Keeps herself out of the nitty gritty of household maths initially & as soon as she isn't OK with that both you & brother can review matters. You as what changes does she propose (as the whole kitchen & bathroom access battles may have been mostly fought out) & him as just how serious are we about each other & are they going to make me take sides (oh, now that you *can* bet on.)

What happens presently if one or both of you come down with noro? Who takes time off work to mind sick children? Cover, if at all, whilst one goes to a school show, or dentist, or afterschool club? How does he forsee that changing? Does herself know he has Uncle duty one evening a week? How does brother plan to cope if mum & dad can't accomodate you some weekends? And just how & when do you plan to sell up & seperate?

This doesn't help you sort out what to charge herself - and anyway brother may calmly say still 50/50, no further questions. I think trying to future proof getting exisiting details codified & by positively planning when it's all going to change anyway may help you both cope with yet another woman in the house!

All the very best of luck - which I believe favours the prepared.

Re the bit in bold. He is their uncle, not their dad. He doesn't do any of this at present.

pollyanna24

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

Thats the way everyone except the OP see's it.

The OP see's a meal ticket because the GF earns more money than she does.

Erm, she doesn't actually.

My brother said we would sit down and discuss how much his gf would pay.

Before we did that, I've come on here to find out what other people thought.

Everyone thinks she shouldn't pay anything, so I will sit at the kitchen table and take whatever they offer as a bonus I guess.