Brother's Girlfriend Moving In

pollyanna24

HPoirot wrote: »

1/3 of all the bills, does your brother's girlfriend really absolutely want to subsidise your children?

True, see where you are coming from. But if it's only 1/3 bills and no rent, then she's still better off than elsewhere and making a shedload from renting out her own property.

So, less than 1/3 then?

We do have a bit of give and take in the house and ideally I would like to just have my own place, but I do let my brother and his gf have the house every weekend, because I feel they need space and my girls like staying at my parents' house etc.

esmerelda98

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

Will you be declaring this income to HMRC? Will you be telling your mortgage provider that a 3rd party is paying towards the mortgage? Will this be her home, or yours and your brothers and when they argue, will he be the one staying at a friends or will she be?

and re joint groceries: This situation will explode. I guarantee it.

I can't see that there is anything to declare to HMRC. I think any rent would fall under the 'rent a room' scheme.

Confusedandneedhelp

esmerelda98 wrote: »

I can't see that there is anything to declare to HMRC. I think any rent would fall under the 'rent a room' scheme.

Not when she's not a lodger and not renting a room.

As i said its complicated in this situation

HPoirot

pollyanna24 wrote: »

then she's still better off than elsewhere and making a shedload from renting out her own property.

With all due respect, this has nothing to do with how much she should pay towards her stay in her boyfriend's house.

Confusedandneedhelp

pollyanna24 wrote: »

True, see where you are coming from. But if it's only 1/3 bills and no rent, then she's still better off than elsewhere and making a shedload from renting out her own property.

So, less than 1/3 then?

We do have a bit of give and take in the house and ideally I would like to just have my own place, but I do let my brother and his gf have the house every weekend, because I feel they need space and my girls like staying at my parents' house etc.

Yes she is. and you are better off having another adult paying for the elecrticity, water, food, roof etc that your two daughters use. (that's your brother im talking about)

They do need space. and you've said that he is waiting to sell so you can afford somewhere. That's your side of the bargain.

Not to sound to high and mighty but you have had a great deal so far, now you're trying for more. You want two people who have their own lives to pay for 2/3 of a house where you and your daughters take up the majority of room, time etc.

I have 3 kids, i know what my house is like with toys, with children needing attentione etc.

pollyanna24

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

Hold on a second. you didnt mention it because you think it's unfair for your brother's girlfriend to pay towards a roof etc for your kids? - well ye it is unfair.

So actually you should be splitting everything 3/5 against you, or even 3/4.

Take it on the chin, you've had alot paid for you by your brother, as you have 2 kids who he basically supports. Now unless u include them in your calculation, there is no way you can include his girlfriend.

Edit: that sounds harsh. so ill clarify:

Your brother obviously doesnt mind providing for you and his nieces, and thats very good of him. I dont think you should begrudge him wanting to carry on providing but broadening his life too.

I do get that she shouldn't subsidise my kids, but still what I'm proposing is not very much money really. I could understand if I thought market rates were appropriate, but £300 for your entire household living expenses? That's not a lot surely?

EDIT - and going from people's responses, now I'm thinking of suggesting £200.

rach_k

I don't think I would ask her to split part of the mortgage payment equally (as 'rent') as she presumably won't have her own room so she's not taking up a third of the house for herself. Obviously she's going to take up some of the communal living areas for her stuff/spending time there though... maybe ask her for 1/6th of the mortgage payment as rent, or something like that, plus an equal share of any bills. Or to avoid complicating things, just don't ask her to contribute to the mortgage at all and just ask for an equal share of the bills. Maybe she could buy a take-away every now and then instead! If you fell out with your brother, if they've been paying twice as much towards the mortgage as you for a couple of years I don't think they'd be completely out of line to ask for that to be reflected in his/their share of the house value when sold.

I don't think how much she's saving/making by renting out her own place should come into it - you could say that about anything where somebody could save money by going for a cheaper option and it wouldn't justify overcharging for the cheaper choice (not that I'm saying £300 is overcharging but I don't think that's a good line of thought to go down).

pollyanna24

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

Yes she is. and you are better off having another adult paying for the elecrticity, water, food, roof etc that your two daughters use. (that's your brother im talking about)

They do need space. and you've said that he is waiting to sell so you can afford somewhere. That's your side of the bargain.

Not to sound to high and mighty but you have had a great deal so far, now you're trying for more. You want two people who have their own lives to pay for 2/3 of a house where you and your daughters take up the majority of room, time etc.

I have 3 kids, i know what my house is like with toys, with children needing attentione etc.

Okay, this is why I came on here, to get opinions.

So she shouldn't pay anything? To be fair, if she doesn't pay anything, she is going to come out with a heap of money at the end. Renting her two bed flat and living somewhere for free.

It's not just me benefiting by asking her to pay a nominal amount, she'll still be quids in.

I mean I could just refuse to let her move in, refuse to sell and prolong things for the 2 years anyways. But I'm trying to find the nice way around it all.

maman

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

Hold on a second. you didnt mention it because you think it's unfair for your brother's girlfriend to pay towards a roof etc for your kids? - well ye it is unfair.

So actually you should be splitting everything 3/5 against you, or even 3/4.

Take it on the chin, you've had alot paid for you by your brother, as you have 2 kids who he basically supports. Now unless u include them in your calculation, there is no way you can include his girlfriend.

Edit: that sounds harsh. so ill clarify:

Your brother obviously doesnt mind providing for you and his nieces, and thats very good of him. I dont think you should begrudge him wanting to carry on providing but broadening his life too.

I have to agree with this. I don't want to be harsh either but you seem to be thinking along the lines that because your brother's gf has her own money then you should benefit from it. Surely that's between him and her? Even if she generously paid a third of the bills (take the mortgage out of it as only you and your brother own the house) she's still paying to feed your children.


As she's offered I think you should take whatever she's offering with good grace. Otherwise you risk resentment and general bad feeling. Whatever she comes up with (assuming it covers additional groceries and water) will be a bonus for you financially and you might win in other ways too like a share in housework.

tea_lover

FWIW, my thought is that you continue to split the bills 50/50. Your brother and his gf can decide between themselves how they fund their half. Your half covers you and your children.