Brother's Girlfriend Moving In

HPoirot

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Okay, this is why I came on here, to get opinions.

So she shouldn't pay anything? To be fair, if she doesn't pay anything, she is going to come out with a heap of money at the end. Renting her two bed flat and living somewhere for free.

It's not just me benefiting by asking her to pay a nominal amount, she'll still be quids in.

I mean I could just refuse to let her move in, refuse to sell and prolong things for the 2 years anyways. But I'm trying to find the nice way around it all.

Not sure you can stop her moving in as your brother is an equal owner as you, and he lives there too.

To be honest I think you should stop focusing on her money and concentrate on the sharing of the house.

Mojisola

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

Will you be declaring this income to HMRC?

GF paying a share of the bills won't count as income for pollyanna and her brother.

Person_one

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Okay, this is why I came on here, to get opinions.

So she shouldn't pay anything? To be fair, if she doesn't pay anything, she is going to come out with a heap of money at the end. Renting her two bed flat and living somewhere for free.

It's not just me benefiting by asking her to pay a nominal amount, she'll still be quids in.

I mean I could just refuse to let her move in, refuse to sell and prolong things for the 2 years anyways. But I'm trying to find the nice way around it all.

Honestly, this sounds like a recipe for disaster.

You've posted about this, what, three times now? No closer to a solution yet and it sounds like you're starting to get more resentful of having another adult move in.

Do you get on with your brother's fianc!? You're looking at sharing a home with her for the next two years after all and even though she won't own it it will be her home just as much as it is yours.

Personally, I wouldn't even be considering this, I'd be getting my head together with my brother to find a way to disentangle the whole setup asap and both of you strike out on your own now. It might not be easy, but it will probably be better for family relationships in the long term!

lulu_92

I think she should pay a third of the bills and maybe her and your brother can split their mortgage payment? any equity in the house will be his but if he uses it to buy a house with her it will be partly her money too.

He can easily keep track of how much she has paid towards if something goes bad in their situation.

About her renting her flat out. If she earns a lot from this it would annoy me if she wasn't contributing. This will be her place of residence, right? So she has to contribute. How would you feel if she wasn't contributing, yet using the utilities, eating the food and living there, and having a load of disposable income? I think £300 is perfectly fair.

Bollotom

Probably best for brother and GF to be the ones to sit down and discuss what they together should pay and this means the brother will tip up a bit more to cover for her while you carry on paying the amount you do now. Doesn't have to be called "Rent", just living together and sharing costs like my partner doesn't chuck more into the pot when her family come to stay. Be careful of driving wedges thin end first. Sit and talk by all means but let your brother make his mind up. Also, depending on equity in the gaff, might be a bad idea to throw more money into the mortgage as you could be still paying off interest and a savings account might be a better option. :cool:

pollyanna24

Thanks for everyone's answers.

I came on here to get opinions and I got them. Didn't quite expect people to be so harsh when all I was asking how much of a nominal amount I thought she should pay, but that's fair enough.

I can sit down to the table with them now knowing that a lot of people think she shouldn't be paying a lot.

I would love to get out of this situation now, but it's not feasible and brother has agreed to wait. He has said he doesn't want to buy a house with her yet, as they haven't actually been going out that long, so he wants to wait too, not just me.

peachyprice

Mojisola wrote: »

Do you think that pollyanna24 and her brother should pay for the GF's food while she lives with them?

No, pollyanna should buy her own groceries, her brother and gf should buy theirs. She's going to be wanting to buy stuff they don't usually buy now to cook for them as a couple, simply splitting the groceries into 3 won't work, PA will be out of pocket.

pollyanna24

peachyprice wrote: »

No, pollyanna should buy her own groceries, her brother and gf should buy theirs. She's going to be wanting to buy stuff they don't usually buy now to cook for them as a couple, simply splitting the groceries into 3 won't work, PA will be out of pocket.

We don't split all the groceries. I buy mostly all my food and they buy theirs.

It's only toilet paper, bread, milk, ham, washing powder, washing up liquid, cleaning materials etc.

StuC75

Given the OP has children living there and current pays 50/50 for the 3 on her side vs 1 on her brothers side, although his gf is there a lot of the time..

What are the likely increases in costs for the gf being there full time above what happens now, given that the OP's brother is currently subsidising his sister and his nieces living there, which again is his own admirable decision to take.

Lets face facts the gf is not a lodger, will not have her own exlclusive space to use - as is really just sharing her partners 'space' - so actually has a lesser split if you think in terms of exclusive space... so the OP is really dominating the usage for 1/3rd of the cost (before confuse matters with Overpayments). whilst the gf is paying 1/3 but getting 1/6th of the space (e.g. 'Half' of boyfriends room & shared space).

what would be easier is that retain this 50/50 split , but the Op's Brother and his girlfriend discuss how they as a couple want to split the half that they pay. The Gf's status as a landloard is irrelevant, and if they do have the disposable income when combined they may want to arrange what they put away in order to save for when they buy there own place or choices they make as a couple and not just subsidise the OP further...

Confusedandneedhelp

pollyanna24 wrote: »

I do get that she shouldn't subsidise my kids, but still what I'm proposing is not very much money really. I could understand if I thought market rates were appropriate, but £300 for your entire household living expenses? That's not a lot surely?

EDIT - and going from people's responses, now I'm thinking of suggesting £200.

She shouldnt pay a penny towards your kids. Literally not 1 penny.

If she wants to get gifts, or give them a treat, like a takeaway or something, then her choice. But seriously you cannot charge her rent towards your kids. which is what this is.

Id wager that two kids use atleast equal utilities as an adult, take up more room than an adult and more time.