Brother's Girlfriend Moving In

pollyanna24

tea_lover wrote: »

Does the gf even want to move in or is this just hypothetical at this stage? In her position there's no way I'd consider it!

True, I have no idea why she wants to move in. Maybe she wants to see how it is living with kids before she has her own, who knows?

tea_lover

pollyanna24 wrote: »

True, I have no idea why she wants to move in. Maybe she wants to see how it is living with kids before she has her own, who knows?

I'd be quite happy with the living with children part, but I certainly wouldn't be paying for them!

Confusedandneedhelp

fivetide wrote: »

Won't matter at all

https://www.gov.uk/rent-room-in-your-home/the-rent-a-room-scheme

As I said in post 6 already OP is possibly best asking on the housing board for some informed advice rather than scare stories.

And as ive said the rent a room scheme does not apply in this situation. The GF is not a lodger nor is she renting a room!

Mojisola

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Everyone thinks she shouldn't pay anything

Everyone? Maybe some have said that because your brother is already splitting the bills 50/50 even though there are three of you and one of him.

She should be covering any increase in the bills at the very least but you shouldn't be aiming to make money from her.

pollyanna24

I don't expect her to pay for my kids, I never said that. All I asked was what was a nominal payment she should pay.

How do you work out increases in bills when you pay by direct debit? Should she not pay a 1/3 of stuff like the phone, broadband, council tax (as my kids do not affect them).

Gas/electricity etc. as brother and girlfriend stay up all night playing on the computer while me and my girls are in bed. It's not a complete one way street.

My brother has not used the washing machine since he moved in as he never saw the point, i.e. I might as well chuck his clothes in with mine and the girls. And I did this, no bother.

Mojisola

pollyanna24 wrote: »

How do you work out increases in bills when you pay by direct debit? Should she not pay a 1/3 of stuff like the phone, broadband, council tax (as my kids do not affect them).

That would be a good starting point.

Confusedandneedhelp

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Erm, she doesn't actually.

My brother said we would sit down and discuss how much his gf would pay.

Before we did that, I've come on here to find out what other people thought.

Everyone thinks she shouldn't pay anything, so I will sit at the kitchen table and take whatever they offer as a bonus I guess.

Example for you: your kids are entitled to child maintenance from their father, I dont know if you get this, but if you do, should that be used to subsidise your brother and his girlfriend?

And maybe its not how you think you see it but you are acting like someone (in my opinion) who is:

1: losing control of their home - as you seem to be in charge.
2: having to include a new person in the home, which 'outnumbers you'
3: completely miss the point that your brother has spent a number of years paying for your daughters
4: are jealous that this new person, who for all intents and purposes is without being tied down (unlike you) is able to leave cheaper than you and earn more money.
5: when confronted with not getting her own way says 'well i can just tell them she cant move in'.

Face reality, you are better off with your brother living there than alone. So what if the GF is also better off. Good, she might become your sister in law.
She wants to contribute, great. I suggest you take the money, put it to one side and then use it to give them a great holiday.
It's nothing to do with you if she lives rent free or not, whilst renting her own place out.
Just like its nothing to do with you if she got a 5 grand promotion at work.

The reason posters (such as myself) are being harsh is because you intentionally left out cruical information regarding the house (IE two extra people) because it would suit your position in this argument. In essence your brother could have two people move in ( i presume your daughters have their own room?) and use the living room as a bedroom for them and you would not have a leg to stand on, since thats what you currently have already.

Person_one

pollyanna24 wrote: »

How do you work out increases in bills when you pay by direct debit? Should she not pay a 1/3 of stuff like the phone, broadband, council tax (as my kids do not affect them).

Well your broadband won't go up, unless she uses so much data you exceed your limit.

If she uses a lot of electricity, water, gas, phone calls etc. the providers will adjust your direct debit so you'll see the increase if there is any. It will probably be pretty negligible though, one extra person in a house that already has 4 living there is not likely to have a huge impact on the bills.

Perhaps you could see this as a bit of give and take though? For a few years you've been paying 50% to cover three people while your brother pays 50% to cover one. Now, for a couple of years you can carry on paying more or less 50% each (with possible exceptions for council tax etc.) for you to cover 3 people and him to cover 2.

Its just going to get messy if you dwell too much on the nitty gritty of the finances. The most important thing is maintaining good relationships between the 5 of you in an unorthodox and possibly not particularly easy living situation! I'd hope that if she's a nice person (and you're brother sounds nice, so she should be!) then she'll be appreciative of the chance to live cheaply and will treat you all occasionally, chip in for stuff without being asked and so on.

Confusedandneedhelp

pollyanna24 wrote: »

I don't expect her to pay for my kids, I never said that. All I asked was what was a nominal payment she should pay.

How do you work out increases in bills when you pay by direct debit? Should she not pay a 1/3 of stuff like the phone, broadband, council tax (as my kids do not affect them).

Gas/electricity etc. as brother and girlfriend stay up all night playing on the computer while me and my girls are in bed. It's not a complete one way street.

My brother has not used the washing machine since he moved in as he never saw the point, i.e. I might as well chuck his clothes in with mine and the girls. And I did this, no bother.

Presumebly, like 90% of the population she wont use the landline, so that wont go up.
The broadband is a fixed price normally so that wont go up
and council tax is the same for 2 adults as for 3, so that wont go up.
- now perhaps she should contribute, seems fair. But your house is 3 bedrooms? You and your daughters have two i guess, so should they 'take' the living room?

What about the gas and electricity during the day when they are at work? and you are at ahome

swingaloo

Having read your other thread about her moving in there are 2 remarks on there that say it all really-

1. I am having trouble thinking of my house as 'our' house (Thats because you had the house 5 years before your brother bought in)

2. Why should she live with us and make money out of her property. Her property is woth twice what mine is.


Im also amazed as to how you can manage to overpay your morgage by £1000 a month only working 3 days a week and yet you seem very concerned about what she is to pay, but thats a different issue.