Brother's Girlfriend Moving In

Confusedandneedhelp

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

I don't totally agree with this. If she is away every weekend, then her and her children are only in the house 5 days a week. And as most people are out at school / work through the week they are perhaps not using as much utilities as the brother.

Personally, I think she should pay some rent. Who lives rent free anywhere? When I got my first job I paid board to my mum of £60 a week, so that was £240. Why shouldn't this woman pay towards her keep?

Im not saying she shouldnt pay rent, im saying that rent shouldnt go to the OP. if she wants to pay the brother, by all means, but thats between them

Bills same. Sorry but brother has susidised 2 children for 3 years.

Confusedandneedhelp

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Okay, I apologise. Yes they have recently got engaged, but an engagement and a wedding are two completely different things. It's easy enough to get engaged. Still doesn't change that they haven't actually been going out that long.

And if i find out my sister didnt respect the fact id asked someone to marry me, she'd get a mouthful at the very least, especially if i've been paying for her kids to have a place to live.

Have abit of respect.

tea_lover

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Okay, I apologise. Yes they have recently got engaged, but an engagement and a wedding are two completely different things. It's easy enough to get engaged. Still doesn't change that they haven't actually been going out that long.

I find your attitide towards your brother patronising, belittling and frankly ungrateful.

He's putting his life on hold to help you out, and you seem determined to milk it.

snowleopard61

Hope I don’t get shot down in flames just for saying this, but my reaction to the first post was ‘Wow, the girlfriend’s really got it made. Who gets to live for £300 a month all in, and get an income from rent as well?’ It seems to me that the figures themselves are highly relevant, not irrelevant as most posters seem to feel. The fact that the children obviously have no income, whereas the girlfriend has, also seems to me to put them in a very different category. Even the idea that the OP should profit a little (rather than just not be out of pocket) seems reasonable, given that she is joint owner of the house.

I’m not sure I’d like to be in the position of the OP or her brother or his girlfriend in their daily living arrangements, but the original proposal still sounds fair enough to me.

I don’t know the OP (i.e. I haven’t read her posts on other threads, although I’ve read all of this one) and I accept mine is, to say the least, a minority view, but at least the OP may like to know it.

HPoirot

pollyanna24 wrote: »

And I will try to let go of the whole sense of entitlement. I will do my best. Just a tad hard when I've lived there for 8 years, but yep, I do see everyone's points on that.

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Okay, I apologise. Yes they have recently got engaged, but an engagement and a wedding are two completely different things. It's easy enough to get engaged. Still doesn't change that they haven't actually been going out that long.

How far will biting the hand that feeds you get you?

his_missus

After reading through the whole thread, personally I would accept whatever the gf offers as long as it covers any increases in costs of running the household such as extra water/electricity etc.

Confusedandneedhelp

snowleopard61 wrote: »

Hope I don’t get shot down in flames just for saying this, but my reaction to the first post was ‘Wow, the girlfriend’s really got it made. Who gets to live for £300 a month all in, and get an income from rent as well?’ It seems to me that the figures themselves are highly relevant, not irrelevant as most posters seem to feel. The fact that the children obviously have no income, whereas the girlfriend has, also seems to me to put them in a very different category. Even the idea that the OP should profit a little (rather than just not be out of pocket) seems reasonable, given that she is joint owner of the house.

I’m not sure I’d like to be in the position of the OP or her brother or his girlfriend in their daily living arrangements, but the original proposal still sounds fair enough to me.

I don’t know the OP (i.e. I haven’t read her posts on other threads, although I’ve read all of this one) and I accept mine is, to say the least, a minority view, but at least the OP may like to know it.

View taken of course.

Just a quick counter. The OP has been lucky to have a brother who has paid half of everything for her and her daughters (yes they have no income, but that's a parents responsibility)

even if it's fair that a new person should pay, is it fair that the brother has been paying. If nothing else, id say it balances out. But like you say, your views.

Pricivius

I agree with those who have suggested retaining the status quo - 50/50 between you and your brother. If she wants to contribute to his 50%, then that is between the pair of them. I would equate that to your childrens' father contributing towards the 50% that you pay on behalf of yourself and the children.

To ask a slightly bizarre but thought-provoking question, what would have happened if your brother had become guardian for two children and needed to move them in? Then it would be one adult and two kids each so 50/50 would be fair. Or would you be asking him to pay more to cover the extra costs?

One further point, I think cleaning/laundry/cooking duties are a red herring unless there was an agreement that he would subsidise your kids if you covered the household duties. If there was no such agreement, then you should have insisted he pulled his weight.

DavidF

I think you really need to forget that your brothers girlfriend owns a flat/house or whatever. It really is nothing to do with you in all honesty. She could be a millionairess or someone with the same debt as a small 3rd world country...these things should not come into the equation at all.
If I was your brother then I would just announce that my GF was moving in to my share of the house. I would quite happily pay a little extra on my GF's behalf for food ect but not much more. I would therefore say that anything over say £150 per month MAXIMUM (assuming you all eat together) would be unfair. Infact I would be more looking at the 90-100 per month range as it is cheaper to buy for the group than it is singley.
If I were you I would tread carefully with my brother as he obviously cares about this girl......You may find that it is YOU who ends up paying more and not her.

Al1x

My sister and I owned a house together and then my husband (then boyfriend) moved in. We had a joint account (in mine and my sisters names) and we all paid in £300 per month each. That covered all bills and mortgage but not food. We then bought our own food. Any household purchases came out of that account too (lawn mower, washing line etc, only things that were shared). (We had agreed that the house would only be in mine and my sisters name 50% each. Maybe we were lucky that me and my boyfriend never split up so didn't have the hassle of him saying the house is 1/3 his.)