Brother's Girlfriend Moving In

Mojisola

pollyanna24 wrote: »

I know a lot of people think my brother is subsidising me, but he invested/moved into my house when he couldn't have bought a property by himself and has gained from the increase in house prices.

Free cleaner as he does nothing in the house, so this might outweigh the subsidiing he does for me.

He also moved into a house where everything was there. All the appliances are what I have bought, so that's a saving for him, surely.

Keep looking at the positives - everyone can gain from it if you can all work together. A mutually-supportive family is a great thing to be part of.

StuC75

My remark was more aimed at the post where the comment was that family help each other out , often beyond the scale of 50/50 with little regard for precise splits (Ie you & brother view the split as based on 2 adults hence the 50/50 allocation)... Others view it in terms of the split of people in the house.. With both methods being just as right...

Its about what dynamics work for you all together..

pollyanna24 wrote: »

But he's only been going out with her 6 months (and I haven't known her as long as him), so how can I completely be expected to do this? Don't get me wrong, she's a lovely girl, but I've known my brother over 30 years.

January20

pollyanna24 wrote: »

But he's only been going out with her 6 months (and I haven't known her as long as him), so how can I completely be expected to do this? Don't get me wrong, she's a lovely girl, but I've known my brother over 30 years.

I completely agree with you! She's been in "your life" for 6 months, how could you consider her to be family?

I know I'll be flamed for saying this but I think 6 months is really early for your brother to have her not only move in with him, but also with his sister and nieces. He barely knows her. She could turn out to be a complete nutter. (I know I'm exaggerating!)

I think people have been overly harsh with you Pollyanna. It's been a usual case of ganging up on the OP! I hate that! It's such a bullying mentality and I admire the way you have replied politely and nicely to everybody.

I don't think you have a sense of entitlement and I don't think your brother is/ has been subsidising you.He is not the self-sacrificing knight in shining armour that people have made him out to be! He made a decision that benefited your all. You and the girls remained in the same house but he gained being looked after as I'm sure he doesn't do any cleaning or much cooking as you said he doesn't even use the washer and as you say the house was already all sorted in terms of appliances etc.

Also, he knew exactly what he was letting himself in ie living with his sister and her 2 young children so yes they make noise, mess and cost a bit of money but how much money does a child really cost in terms of heating, electricity, food? Incredible that people would say you should pay 3/5!!!

When I read posts like on this thread, I do worry about the future of British society, where people view children as a burden and where uncles and aunts would resent them if they cost money. I am thankful that in my RL people value their family and are willing to help each other! Perhaps in the north-east we have a different mentality? ;)

OP, I too hope you will post back to say that they have offered to pay more than £200.:D Perhaps, she is not going to cost the household money, but you and the girls will have to get used to a strange adult and you will lose your privacy. I hope it works out. I would be very uneasy in your shoes :eek:

snowleopard61

OP, to me the sharing arrangement that the three of you are in the process of coming to sounds like the most sensible one and the most advantageous to all concerned, and your original financial proposal sounded fine. I think it is only right that any independent adult moving into your home (which it still is, though owned jointly with your brother) should pay something for the benefit of living there beyond just a share of the bills; if I were that third adult, I would feel that anything less would be exploiting you.

This particular house-share does sounds quite a difficult mix from other points of view than the financial one, but you seem to have a pretty good relationship all round and I wish you the very best. If all goes well, in two years’ time this should leave all of you with a really secure financial basis for the future.

Buzzybee90

January20 wrote: »

I completely agree with you! She's been in "your life" for 6 months, how could you consider her to be family?

I know I'll be flamed for saying this but I think 6 months is really early for your brother to have her not only move in with him, but also with his sister and nieces. He barely knows her. She could turn out to be a complete nutter. (I know I'm exaggerating!)

I think people have been overly harsh with you Pollyanna. It's been a usual case of ganging up on the OP! I hate that! It's such a bullying mentality and I admire the way you have replied politely and nicely to everybody.

I don't think you have a sense of entitlement and I don't think your brother is/ has been subsidising you.He is not the self-sacrificing knight in shining armour that people have made him out to be! He made a decision that benefited your all. You and the girls remained in the same house but he gained being looked after as I'm sure he doesn't do any cleaning or much cooking as you said he doesn't even use the washer and as you say the house was already all sorted in terms of appliances etc.

Also, he knew exactly what he was letting himself in ie living with his sister and her 2 young children so yes they make noise, mess and cost a bit of money but how much money does a child really cost in terms of heating, electricity, food? Incredible that people would say you should pay 3/5!!!

When I read posts like on this thread, I do worry about the future of British society, where people view children as a burden and where uncles and aunts would resent them if they cost money. I am thankful that in my RL people value their family and are willing to help each other! Perhaps in the north-east we have a different mentality? ;)

OP, I too hope you will post back to say that they have offered to pay more than £200.:D Perhaps, she is not going to cost the household money, but you and the girls will have to get used to a strange adult and you will lose your privacy. I hope it works out. I would be very uneasy in your shoes :eek:

I agree, 6 months ago was January! I still feel like Christmas just happened.

chelseablue

What arrangment did you come to in the end?