Brother's Girlfriend Moving In

moneyistooshorttomention

Mojisola wrote: »

I think a paper trail showing her £300 being paid to you and going straight into the mortgage account will set her up for being able to claim a beneficial right to the property should the relationship break down.

The first thought that struck me too:eek:

I know it will be awkward to your brother, but it would be more appropriate for her to have a "Rent book" and pay an inclusive (of bills) rent.

Your brother will have to just break it to girlfriend that, though she is his Other Half, she is nothing to do with you and you are half the mortgage-holder.

It would be wise also to checkout brother & girlfriends plans re pregnancy. I would feel happier, in your position, if there was an agreement in place that she wasn't to get pregnant until AFTER you and brother have both bought your own separate places. There would be financial implications possibly if she decided to get pregnant whilst living in your joint place. There would also be a screaming baby living in your home that you hadn't volunteered to have iyswim. In fact, in your position, I wouldn't accept girlfriend moving in unless there was a "no pregnancy whilst sharing joint house" agreement firmly in place.

Confusedandneedhelp

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

The first thought that struck me too:eek:

I know it will be awkward to your brother, but it would be more appropriate for her to have a "Rent book" and pay an inclusive (of bills) rent.

Your brother will have to just break it to girlfriend that, though she is his Other Half, she is nothing to do with you and you are half the mortgage-holder.

It would be wise also to checkout brother & girlfriends plans re pregnancy. I would feel happier, in your position, if there was an agreement in place that she wasn't to get pregnant until AFTER you and brother have both bought your own separate places. There would be financial implications possibly if she decided to get pregnant whilst living in your joint place. There would also be a screaming baby living in your home that you hadn't volunteered to have iyswim.

But the op can have her daughters there????!!

moneyistooshorttomention

The OP's financial circumstances are already sorted out, as to how much income she gets and where it is coming from.

What would happen to girlfriends income if she decided to get pregnant is a bit more of an unknown quantity and her financial situation could "knock back" onto OP if she were to lose income as a consequence.

Its only two years and, personally, I tend to think its wise to let a new marriage (or "marriage") settle down a bit and the two of them have time to get used to being a couple before they have children.

Buzzybee90

Sorry if this has been answered, why can't the brother live with the gf at her place? Siblings, girlfriend and children seems like a recipe for disaster.

FBaby

OP, I hope you come back to say that you left it to them to make a suggestion and she insisted on contributing £400

Anatidaephobia

If you posted on here to say that you and your children were moving into a house with your brother and his girlfriend, and how should you all split the bills, I would agree that 50:50 would be fair.

As you already have that situation with your brother, I don't think that his fiancee moving in would massively change it... I would view your brother and his fiancee as a "couple" therefore it is their business how they sort out who pays for their 50% share. If she wishes to contribute even more or pay as much as a third herself then I would consider that very generous (but I certainly wouldn't demand/initiate it).

StuC75

They may not be in the same category but still needed to be provided for, and by whom? Naturally you would say the Mother (and her ex), admirable that the Brother choses to help out, but such shouldn't be assumed from the Brothers Girlfriend to 'subsidise' the children living there.. They have an exlusive use of parts of the home so fall under the remit of what is used by the OP and what ought to be using..

snowleopard61 wrote: »

I don't accept that the OP's children are in the same category as an adult with an income (and in the girlfriend's case, a rental income over and above her income from working).

StuC75

Yes that's what families do, but the OP isn't openly regarding the Brothers Girl Friend as being part of the family yet.. so why should that be expected from her?

CKgeordieinlondon wrote: »

I'm starting to wonder what sort of family relationships some of the people contributing have.

Some families help each other out in all sorts of ways. It's unlkely to be equal but it does not mean one is exploiting the other. Its just what (some) families do.

OP I would just see what figure they come up with and just make sure you're not worse off. If you end up better off put it in savings and spend it on frivolities of your choice.

Hope it works out for all of you.

pollyanna24

Thanks for everyone's answers.

The "discussion" will probably happen in the next month or so.

They won't live in the gf's flat as my brother reckons it will take him too long to get to work.

I know a lot of people think my brother is subsidising me, but he invested/moved into my house when he couldn't have bought a property by himself and has gained from the increase in house prices.

Free cleaner as he does nothing in the house, so this might outweigh the subsidiing he does for me.

He also moved into a house where everything was there. All the appliances are what I have bought, so that's a saving for him, surely.

But, hey ho, it is what it is. If it all goes belly up when she moves in, then we will just sell and I will have to rent. I could be in a worse situation, I do appreciate this.

I will see what they say, I won't mention any figures and will see how it goes.

And I guess I should be grateful for having the kind of family I have, where we don't count everything to the penny. You can be damn sure that, if when we do sell up, something happens to my brother's and fiancees's relationship, he will be guaranteed a bed at my place for as long as he needs. Bit of give and take. And he knows that as well. We're family, not strangers.

pollyanna24

StuC75 wrote: »

Yes that's what families do, but the OP isn't openly regarding the Brothers Girl Friend as being part of the family yet.. so why should that be expected from her?

But he's only been going out with her 6 months (and I haven't known her as long as him), so how can I completely be expected to do this? Don't get me wrong, she's a lovely girl, but I've known my brother over 30 years.