Brother's Girlfriend Moving In

pollyanna24

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

And what happens when she wants to add to this joint account spending? Or he does on her behalf?

Do whatever makes you happy.

Again, something to think about. I have kept my brother under control (haha) for the last three years, but granted this might change now.

maman

It's really difficult to separate the emotional from the financial issues here.


If you think about it, potentially the only additional bills that you'll incur when she moves in would be extra groceries and maybe some extra on the water (if you're on a meter). Beyond that you'd be making money out of a friend of your brothers. To me this isn't the same as taking in a lodger.


Conversely you could think of her as a lodger (and I agree with getting it done properly) and expect her to pay her way in all bills (which is roughly what you're suggesting). That way you and your brother benefit by adding to the equity in the house which you'll eventually split 50:50 when you sell up.


Do just two of you live in the house now?

Confusedandneedhelp

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Blimey, this isn't what I was expecting when I started this thread.

My brother said we would sit down and discuss figures. I just asked what I thought other people would expect to be a reasonable amount.

We are a very close family and all just trying to help each other out in the next couple of years, when we will go our separate ways.

Ok lets put this into perspective, your brother may be looking to start his own family, which puts you on the back seat and his new girlfriend as his co-pilot.

A reasonable amount is a 3rd of the bills. Anything else is really upto your brother. You will be seen to be interfering in his relationship.

If you were moving your new partner in, would you really want your brother interfering?

pollyanna24

Okay, so people have had lots to say about what I wrote, but...

How much do people think is a reasonable amount for his gf to pay (she has agreed to pay), but wondered what people thought and what they would charge?

Even taking me out of the equation, a gf would contribute to household bills if she moved in with her bf, wouldn't she?

Maybe take out the mortgage/rent bit, and say £200?

HPoirot

Your sig suggests you have children, do they live with you in the house? This would matter tremendously towards the division of the bills which you are suggesting.

Confusedandneedhelp

pollyanna24 wrote: »

If we have to declare it, then we will. Is this only if she is paying "rent" or just contributing towards utilities? - if you get an income, you may have to declare it. This situation is different from most becuase in a traditional setting, ie just 2 partners, you wouldnt declare it as it is going towards the family home. In this situation it's going towards your home too.

She stays at our house quite a lot at the moment as it is. - which is fine as it's your house, soon it will be her home too.

And the joint groceries. My brother moved in three years ago and it's worked fine all that time. - no offence but i get the feeling that's because you do it, and he just pays. Now his girlfriend will have a say

Replies above in red

pollyanna24

maman wrote: »

It's really difficult to separate the emotional from the financial issues here.


If you think about it, potentially the only additional bills that you'll incur when she moves in would be extra groceries and maybe some extra on the water (if you're on a meter). Beyond that you'd be making money out of a friend of your brothers. To me this isn't the same as taking in a lodger.


Conversely you could think of her as a lodger (and I agree with getting it done properly) and expect her to pay her way in all bills (which is roughly what you're suggesting). That way you and your brother benefit by adding to the equity in the house which you'll eventually split 50:50 when you sell up.


Do just two of you live in the house now?

No. Was wondering when this would crop. From my signature, I have two delightful (yeah, right) little girls. I didn't mention this as I know people will say everything is in my favour, but like I said, the gf has agreed to contribute and was just trying to figure how much.

We have worked out how much the mortgage should be down to by 2016 and I should be able to afford a small place by myself then by that point, but I know a lot can change by then.

pollyanna24

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

Ok lets put this into perspective, your brother may be looking to start his own family, which puts you on the back seat and his new girlfriend as his co-pilot.

A reasonable amount is a 3rd of the bills. Anything else is really upto your brother. You will be seen to be interfering in his relationship.

If you were moving your new partner in, would you really want your brother interfering?

Okay, so a third of the bills. Seems fair enough.

To be honest, I can't see my brother even contemplating me moving someone in. One rule for him and one for me.

HPoirot

1/3 of all the bills, does your brother's girlfriend really absolutely want to subsidise your children?

Confusedandneedhelp

pollyanna24 wrote: »

No. Was wondering when this would crop. From my signature, I have two delightful (yeah, right) little girls. I didn't mention this as I know people will say everything is in my favour, but like I said, the gf has agreed to contribute and was just trying to figure how much.

We have worked out how much the mortgage should be down to by 2016 and I should be able to afford a small place by myself then by that point, but I know a lot can change by then.

Hold on a second. you didnt mention it because you think it's unfair for your brother's girlfriend to pay towards a roof etc for your kids? - well ye it is unfair.

So actually you should be splitting everything 3/5 against you, or even 3/4.

Take it on the chin, you've had alot paid for you by your brother, as you have 2 kids who he basically supports. Now unless u include them in your calculation, there is no way you can include his girlfriend.

Edit: that sounds harsh. so ill clarify:

Your brother obviously doesnt mind providing for you and his nieces, and thats very good of him. I dont think you should begrudge him wanting to carry on providing but broadening his life too.