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my husband doesnt find me attractive
Comments
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Person_one wrote: »When you really truly love someone, in a way you stop noticing what they look like, don't you?
No. Unless you're blind!0 -
VestanPance wrote: »No. Unless you're blind!
Ok, outing myself as a geek, but the writers of Doctor Who put it better than I can:
"You know when, sometimes you meet someone so beautiful, and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later, they’re as dull as a brick? Then there’s other people, and you meet them and you think, ‘Not bad; they’re okay.’ And then you get to know them, and their face sort of becomes them, like their personality is written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful."
The OP has put on 3 stone in ten years. Not ideal in terms of her health, and yes she will look a bit different, but only a bit in the grand scheme of things. She's still the same person, she still has feelings and still wants to know that her husband gives a damn about them!0 -
Person_one wrote: »The OP has put on 3 stone in ten years. Not ideal in terms of her health, and yes she will look a bit different, but only a bit in the grand scheme of things. She's still the same person, she still has feelings and still wants to know that her husband gives a damn about them!
Dr Who is a silly childrens program.
He still loves her, as he stated. Going on her description he's put it across extremely badly and that comment is always going to hurt no matter how you dress it up.
The fact remains you can still love the person, but be turned off sexually by a dramatic shift in body shape and even the lifestyle someone leads to gain that weight.0 -
VestanPance wrote: »Dr Who is a silly childrens program.
He still loves her, as he stated. Going on her description he's put it across extremely badly and that comment is always going to hurt no matter how you dress it up.
The fact remains you can still love the person, but be turned off sexually by a dramatic shift in body shape and even the lifestyle someone leads to gain that weight.
It might be a silly children's programme, but I think that's a pretty insightful bit of writing and a great message for the young people watching it.
People are human, I think its always good to remember that. I wonder if the OP's husband is perfect or not.0 -
Wonderful. So here we have women blaming a man for how he feels. After 10 years of relationship and 3 stones heavier he does not fancy her and you pot think he is to blame. Sure , he is a !!!!!!! fot feeling like it , its not like it happens in most of cases of long term relationships ! You lot live in an ivory tower for sure... no wonder most men just say "".nothing is wrong" - and then women.complain men just clam up and don't talk.The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.0 -
double_mummy wrote: »is this part of a pattern of controlling behavior?
the most attractive thing about a woman is her confidence and tbh you sound like you've lost it
So you agree with the husband that she is most likely unattractive at the moment!We’ve had to remove your signature. Please check the Forum Rules if you’re unsure why it’s been removed and, if still unsure, email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0 -
Person_one wrote: »It might be a silly children's programme, but I think that's a pretty insightful bit of writing and a great message for the young people watching it.
People are human, I think its always good to remember that. I wonder if the OP's husband is perfect or not.
Following your logic we all just could pair with the nearest neighbour in our age bracket and live happily ever after - nobody is perfect and our preferences should not matter after all and if the person we married is not who they are b10 years later it does not matter as nobody is perfect ! WhoThe word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.0 -
3 stones on a short woman is not "a bit ", is a completwly different body shape ! But my guess would be that those are not stones that matter that much... Daily grind is not contributing to seeing each other as sex symbols unfortunately and confidence which often goes out of the window once a man one is with stops seeing her as a sex symbol probably account forost of demise ..The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.0 -
balletshoes wrote: »thats not real life though, thats a fairy tale.
mmm maybe for you?2021 GC £1365.71/ £24000 -
Person_one wrote: »Ok, outing myself as a geek, but the writers of Doctor Who put it better than I can:
"You know when, sometimes you meet someone so beautiful, and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later, they’re as dull as a brick? Then there’s other people, and you meet them and you think, ‘Not bad; they’re okay.’ And then you get to know them, and their face sort of becomes them, like their personality is written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful."
I have found this to be true time after time. Lovely quote, thank you for sharing it.2021 GC £1365.71/ £24000
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