my husband doesnt find me attractive

DUTR

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Could the OP's husband be feeling rejected, rather than just interested in her appearance?

We don't know as we don't know how the topic came up .
Many responses are along the lines that the guy (who many are always deemed in the wrong) should not have said what he did, even if it was the truth when asked or he is a bully and controlling if he had just said it out of the blue.

Solsol

Sorry I haven't read all the replies but if you decide to lose weight then I hope you are doing it for yourself and not to please a man.

I've been in the position before where I've got comfortable in relationships and put on 3-4 stone and only decided to lose the weight when we'd split up. I'm now married and since the beginning of the relationship I told myself that I would never do that to myself again. I am now in control of my diet and am the healthiest I've ever been. I am happy at the weight I am because I feel confident in the way I look now but I certainly don't do it to keep my husband happy I do it to keep myself happy and he in turn is happy because I am.

I hope you manage to lose some weight for your own health and happiness. I think your husband was in a no win situation he could either ignore it and hide his feelings about it and the situation would just carry on as it was or raise the issue and be the bad guy.

DUTR

Solsol wrote: »

I've been in the position before where I've got comfortable in relationships and put on 3-4 stone and only decided to lose the weight when we'd split up.

There is no arguing that it is something one should choose to do for themself. To say lose wait until the next partner comes along is already giving in to what some are objecting to, if they are to take one as one is .

Primrose

Well perhaps your OH has been trying to drop you tactful hints for a long time and you,ve been deaf to them so perhaps he had no alternative. Let's face it, if he can,t be honest to you about the way he feels you've let yourself go, nobody else is going to and maybe his tactlessness was the result of sheer frustration and exasperation.
If he still loves you, you would do well to take on board what he's said, if his disenchantment has been down to your weight increase. But try and encourage him to do things with you together to get your weight under control again. Monitor it weekly and report on progress to him so he can see you are really serious about getting things back under control again. It won,t be easy but if you have a man who loves you it will be worth it, and your health will be benefit too.

ManofLeisure_2

Can't say I'm surprised that the OP hasn't returned to this thread since the 18 July.

OP, I hope you are ok

Pollycat

Primrose wrote: »

Well perhaps your OH has been trying to drop you tactful hints for a long time and you,ve been deaf to them so perhaps he had no alternative. Let's face it, if he can,t be honest to you about the way he feels you've let yourself go, nobody else is going to and maybe his tactlessness was the result of sheer frustration and exasperation.
If he still loves you, you would do well to take on board what he's said, if his disenchantment has been down to your weight increase. But try and encourage him to do things with you together to get your weight under control again. Monitor it weekly and report on progress to him so he can see you are really serious about getting things back under control again. It won,t be easy but if you have a man who loves you it will be worth it, and your health will be benefit too.

But we don't know if there have been tactful hints or not in the past.
We don't know if the OP's OH is drop dead gorgeous or a fat b'stard who has also let himself go.
We don't know any more than the OP has posted in the 3 posts on this thread.

Pollycat

ManofLeisure wrote: »

Can't say I'm surprised that the OP hasn't returned to this thread since the 18 July.

OP, I hope you are ok

I hope the OP is OK too.

But when you put your personal life on a public forum with minimal information, you should at the very least expect to get speculation about the circumstances as well as disagreement

Kantankrus_Mare

skintchick wrote: »

That is the saddest description of a relationship that I've read in a very long time. How depressing. Why on earth don;t you just split up? You obviously don;t love each other - the contempt you hold for each other is dripping from your words. So sad.

I disagree totally!
Judi's post really made me laugh and I assumed it was said very tongue in cheek with a huge chunk of realism which comes of being together for a very long time.

Person_one

ManofLeisure wrote: »

Can't say I'm surprised that the OP hasn't returned to this thread since the 18 July.

OP, I hope you are ok

Makes you wonder, what with the current prolific troll.

Solsol

DUTR wrote: »

There is no arguing that it is something one should choose to do for themself. To say lose wait until the next partner comes along is already giving in to what some are objecting to, if they are to take one as one is .

Except in my situation my weight gain was nothing to do with why we split up but my confidence was in tatters by the end of the relationship and that's why I decided to lose weight it certainly wasn't an issue that was raised by my ex at all