my husband doesnt find me attractive

ManofLeisure_2

Pollycat wrote: »

We don't know that he hasn't tried to get the OP to lose weight.

We don't even know exactly why the OP's OH no longer finds her attractive.
It might be a weight issue, something totally different or a combination of any number of things.

I agree that we do not know the reasons. However, 'whatever' the issues are, I do not think that any decent chap who actually 'loved' his wife, would speak to her in such a way. Perhaps I'm 'old fashioned', but that's my opinion and I'm entitled to that

balletshoes

ManofLeisure wrote: »

I agree that we do not know the reasons. However, 'whatever' the issues are, I do not think that any decent chap who actually 'loved' his wife, would speak to her in such a way. Perhaps I'm 'old fashioned', but that's my opinion and I'm entitled to that

but we don't know how he spoke to her? The OP hasn't told us that?

Georgiegirl256

ManofLeisure wrote: »

I find this post so terribly sad. How any chap can behave in this way is beyond me. Surely, if your husband loves you, then he would find ways to assist with any weight issues you might have.

By saying what he did is the first step in assisting her. Wether the OP decides to act on it is up to her.

How was he meant to say it? Is there a nicer way to say to your partner that they're overweight/let themselves go/have bad breath etc etc without actually coming out and saying it.

Pollycat

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

Its the way in which he told her, if he had an issue he could have choosen to discuss it in a sensitive and supportive manner without being hurtfull.
Of course if he doesnt find her attractive its an issue but saying it in such a callous way shows him up.
Theres ways of discussing sensitive things without upsetting people which then provide a positive base for changes to be made.

We don't know how he told her. We don't know if it was callous or not.

I've asked that question but the OP hasn't been back.

ManofLeisure wrote: »

I agree that we do not know the reasons. However, 'whatever' the issues are, I do not think that any decent chap who actually 'loved' his wife, would speak to her in such a way. Perhaps I'm 'old fashioned', but that's my opinion and I'm entitled to that

balletshoes wrote: »

but we don't know how he spoke to her? The OP hasn't told us that?

Exactly.
It's not a question of being old fashioned or not.
It's about reading what has actually been posted instead of reading things that may not be there.

Of course you are entitled to your opinion.

I base my posts on the facts provided in posts, not what I think was said or the manner in which it might have been said.

Person_one

ILoveEoin wrote: »

We been together nearly 10years and I have put on bout 3stone but I am short so it shows a lot on my waist. I have spent past few days crying, beating myself up and staring at myself in mirror. Yes I have to work on myself esp my weight but I am so bloody angry at way he said it and angry at myself for letting myself get to this mess:( feeling very lost atm

balletshoes wrote: »

but we don't know how he spoke to her? The OP hasn't told us that?

We know he spoke to her in a way that has made her angry, upset and caused her to spend 3 days crying and obsessing over this.

Maybe not his intention, but it doesn't really suggest a brilliant execution, does it?

Dasa

If you want to lose weight do it for yourself not someone else.

balletshoes

Person_one wrote: »

We know he spoke to her in a way that has made her angry, upset and caused her to spend 3 days crying and obsessing over this.

Maybe not his intention, but it doesn't really suggest a brilliant execution, does it?

well no, but it doesn't mean he doesn't care about her, or only meant to hurt her by saying what he said. The OP says she's angry with herself, as well as with him.

BigAunty

To the OP - be kinder to yourself.

He's dented your confidence and now you need to regain your confidence and develop your self-respect from within, not from being judged by someone else.

I hope there is no other disrespectful behaviour from him.

justme111

Person_one wrote: »

We know he spoke to her in a way that has made her angry, upset and caused her to spend 3 days crying and obsessing over this.

Maybe not his intention, but it doesn't really suggest a brilliant execution, does it?[/Q

You can suggest realization that your partner does not fancy you sould not have affected one in such a way ?

Person_one

justme111 wrote: »

You can suggest realization that your partner does not fancy you sould not have affected one in such a way ?

Excuse me?