Better off Financially living apart or as a couple?

milkydrink

djdoc1975 wrote: »

THANK YOU

I wanted peoples help and advice, this is what you have given. I felt i had been interrogated and judged before everything was known by some of the other people i mentioned things i would have rather kept private and still people see it as a go at beating the system. I choose to get a part time job so i can see my son and concentrate on building the business.

once again thank you for your kind and helpful words
Craig

WOW, nice to choose to work part-time.
My poor hubby has always had to work full-time & then some, most MEN do. I work full time too, must be nice to have all that family time, unfortunatly some of us have to work to pay for it.

Oldernotwiser

poppyscorner wrote: »

I am not letting emotion cloud my judgement but this guy has had a rough few years h

A rough few years? In what way? His father died, I'm genuinely sorry but it's normal for your parents to die when you're an adult. He's violent and although I'm glad he's dealing with it, I would have said that it's been rough for his partner, rather than for him. He's worked for 14 years; haven't most of us? He's a single man with his own council flat which doesn't sound like a particularly tough deal to me.I'm afraid that if he's well enough to work part time and start a business then he sounds well enough to work full time and support his family.

The initial question was quite clear; would he be better off financially living separately from his girlfriend and baby? As far as benefit policy goes, this question lies at the heart of the current debate over benefits. Should people be encouraged to form secure family units or to lead fragmented lives because the system allows and encourages this? I don't think that anybody was rude to the OP but they did express disapproval of his motives and this seems fair enough to me.

Graham_Devon

poppyscorner wrote: »

Sorry I totally disagree with you on that point lets just say for arguments sake that he moves back his anger is not under control and he does some serious damage to his partner the police are called and there is an investigation there would be far more of tax payers money down the drain all because some clown told him he was milking the system by living apart I think the way some people have spoken to this man is a disgrace and as money savers you should be ashamed of yourselves I am not letting emotion cloud my judgement but this guy has had a rough few years he is feeling a little better so wants to go back to the workplace where is the issue in that surely it is better to start small and build up he has stated that he fully intends to work full time but it will put him two steps back if he rushes into it.

Oh right. I see. So because he's violent, were not only supposed to feel sorry for him for being violent, but were also supposed to provide him with a council flat AND his girlfriend one when they are now a family. Provide for him AND his girlfriend AND his baby because he likes to get jiggy with his fists?!!?

And then, to top feeling sorry for him for all of that, were supposed to HELP him defraud us all.

ANYONE can control their anger. Thats a poor poor excuse. And anyone that does hit women should be behind bars anyway. Not protected in his own cosy little council house with everything provided for him so that he can spend more time with his children than the rest of us PAYING for his lifestyle while we HAVE to spend less time with ours.

Political Correctness though I assume....suddnely the violent one is the victim. :rolleyes:

djdoc1975

Forgive me for asking but how is it fraud?

if i was claiming dla and there was nothing wrong with me eg i had a wheelchair for not being able to walk but went for a 10 mile hike everyday that to me is fraud.

I asked what i thought was a legitimate question, those of you who opposed and were shouting fraudster must have been born with a silver spoon and have not had any problems whatsoever throughout there life.

as poppy said the benefits system is there for when sh*t happens and in this case i believe it to be true.

I feel sorry for those people that have nothing better to do than play judge and jury with another persons life, we have a court system for that so i suggest we leave the people in authority to do this. I seriously do not believe that i would be commiting a fraudulent offense by moving back into the family home and claiming wtc.( the government have a new initiative to get families to spend more time together by paying them a bit extra) I suppose thats fraud too?

I'd like to be able to work full time but would also like to spend time with my son( i'm sure you will all agree that its such a special time right now), is this such a crime that i deserve to be chastised for it? besides i would only be on wtc for 1 year anyway, its not like i've been claiming hundreds of thousands of pounds over the years like i'm sure some people have.

THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HELPED, I'VE GOT THE ANSWER I WAS LOOKING FOR and a few others besides. but i know what to do now in the best interests of my family.

Craig

Errata

ANYONE can control their anger

Graham, think on. You know some things can't be controlled easily.

Graham_Devon

Its fraud because your getting benefits twice.

Can you not see theres other families to be helped? There are other people that could use one of the 2 houses your family is taking up?

Of course you would beleive that the benefits system is there for you.

As for growing up with silver spoons in our mouths, is thois the 'poor me' stance again? If we were born with silver spoons in our mouths and pandered to why the hell would we be working to keep our rooves over our heads and working to pay our fair share?!

You know what, your REALLY winding me up. I'd love to take more holidays, I'd love to spend more time with my family, I'd love just a freaking lie in.

But guess what, I HAVE TO GO TO WORK TO LIVE.

You wouldnt 'like' to be able to work full time at all. You have no excuse, your CHOICE is to work part time and keep as much benefits as you can coming in while taking 2 houses.

Its disgusting.

Graham_Devon

Errata wrote: »

Graham, think on. You know some things can't be controlled easily.

True, next time I batter a granny I'll say I can't control my anger so can you pay for my house please.

What kind of excuse is 'If I move in with the partner I have made a baby with I might hit her'!?!?? Then, going against all that by saying he wanst to spend more time with his family!?!?

It's blatant fraud.

djdoc1975

Graham_Devon wrote: »

True, next time I batter a granny I'll say I can't control my anger so can you pay for my house please.

What kind of excuse is 'If I move in with the partner I have made a baby with I might hit her'!?!?? Then, going against all that by saying he wanst to spend more time with his family!?!?

It's blatant fraud.

At the moment i'm not 100% certain i could contain and control my anger so i live away for that reason. how is this fraud? in your opinion ( taken from what you have said) you are condoning violence. YOU CANT PUT A MONETARY VALUE ON LIFE

Take the recent floods for example...
a family are split up and rehoused because of substantial damage to there property are they committing fraud by living sepreately?
admittedly in this instance i am the one causing damage and it wasnt a natural force.

I'd love to stay and chat and be the highlight of your weekend but i have a life and family to get back to....

I'll be going to the benefits agency and the CAB to see what benefits as a family we would be entitled to.

Craig

Graham_Devon

djdoc1975 wrote: »

At the moment i'm not 100% certain i could contain and control my anger so i live away for that reason. how is this fraud? in your opinion ( taken from what you have said) you are condoning violence. YOU CANT PUT A MONETARY VALUE ON LIFE

Take the recent floods for example...
a family are split up and rehoused because of substantial damage to there property are they committing fraud by living sepreately?
admittedly in this instance i am the one causing damage and it wasnt a natural force.

I'd love to stay and chat and be the highlight of your weekend but i have a life and family to get back to....

I'll be going to the benefits agency and the CAB to see what benefits as a family we would be entitled to.

Craig

You clearly can't see it and you think it's right.

Hope someone reports you sooner rather than later. But dont go beating them up now will you.

How you use 'im violent' as an excuse and then say 'im off to spend time with my family' is frankly hilarious.

DenBo_4

Graham_Devon, I think you need to go back and read your posts, they are so aggressive! Do you have a problem with anger? Leave this bloke alone and get a life, its actually NOTHING at all to do with you! What's your problem!? :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: The OP just asked a question..........................................................nothing else :rolleyes: