Better off Financially living apart or as a couple?

wifeforlife

mummytohollieandpinkbump wrote: »

really so is that why me and my partner were living seperate lives when he worked during the week leaving the house at dinner and getting back at 11pm. we would have no quality family time as he would spend most of his time catching up on his sleep in the mornings and at weekends as his job is very hard and tiring (i used to work with him btw so know exactly how hard).

is that also why i became depressed because i felt we werent a family i felt like i was a single mum.

now that he is working weekends we have more time to spend as a family. my daughter has a brilliant relationship with him now. before she would always come to me if upset etc now she goes to him. she says daddy constantly everyday and more so when hes not there. it makes my heart swell with pride and love as she never used to be like that when he was working weekdays.she hardly knew him then.

This is life!!!!! I'm assuming your 19/20 now. I'm going to tell you straight, dont pull the depression card! Dont dare insult the people that use this site and actually do have depression, it's a long term illness that never fully goes away, and yes I did have it through out my childhood, teenager years and only recently at 24 finally beat the demons and got off my antidepressants.

Oh woe is you, you didnt feel like you where having a family life, oh dear you felt like a single parent. So bloody what, some of us are single parents and do work, oh and do have a family life. I dont get whats so hard about it.

I cant even be bothered to read any more of your drivel, you arent even willing to see the other side of the coin at all

Cate

mummytohollieandpinkbump

kelloggs36 wrote: »

There is a world of difference between you and the SAHM who has posted here - she implies that it is her choice to stay at home and claim tax credits whilst having another baby!! You on the other hand are doing something positive so that you don't have to - that's the difference and most people support people like you!!!

excuse me but i plan to go to uni and train to be a midwife when i can probably when my children are at school but if i can start before then well that would be brilliant.

i decided i wanted to be a midwife as a) its a job i would love to do and b) its a job i can do to help the community

do you know what i cant beleive i'm wasting my time writing all these posts as i really dont care anymore what you people think.

tell you what you go find all your friends and family that claim a benefit and have a go at them too oh and while your at it all the other stay at home mums in this country.

why should we bullied for wanting to be at home with our children.

wifeforlife

mummytohollieandpinkbump wrote: »

i'm not using recieving tax credits as an excuse not to work. your forgetting we live in a very discrimnated country. not many employers are willing to take on a 6 month pg lady when they can employ someone who isnt.

i also wasnt relying on the tax payer to pay for my child. i was working before we planned our daughter until i got pg but had to quit as i was seriously ill. if i hadnt of gotten ill i would of continued to of worked and gone back after mat leave and worked through this pregnancy.i am not a benifit scrounger and never will be. tax credits just help us out and we claim no other benefits even though we could if we wanted.

Oh I was 3 months pregnant when I started my job which I'm still in. I started April 2003 and my daughter was born in the October. Infact I finished work on the friday and went into labour the following Tuesday.

It can be done!

Cate

TheWaltons_3

How the fook can ANYONE be tired working 2days a week.... ahhhhh.... I know what you mean, I feel more tired when I've been off work and been in the house all day doing nothing. It really takes it out of me.

TheWaltons_3

mummytohollieandpinkbump wrote: »

why should we bullied for wanting to be at home with our children.

Personally, I think anyone has gotta be crazy to want to stay at home with their kids all day.

jungliemac

no ones getting at you for wanting to be a SAHM. I can't believe your wasting your time writing those posts either. You seem to have turned this thread to all about you ! So you worked for a couple of years and paid into the system....good...then when you go back to work you can pay into it again.

milkydrink

mummytohollieandpinkbump wrote: »

first of all my partner is in a rubbish paid job and his wage just about covers the rent,bills and food. tax credits cover the rest.i WAS working til i fall pg with my daughter but had to leave as i was seriously ill with her. once we had her we decided to have another as we wanted our children close together.

second of all i was a taxpayer from the age of 16 til i fall pg at 18 and i plan to go to uni once my children are in nursery/school.

i would find a job but who would want to take on a 6 month pg lady and i would be working basically to pay for someone else to look after my kids and watch them grow up when it is my job to do so so wahts the point. i want my children to grow up having there mummy around as much as possible not in childcare everyday. So did I, but when she was 2 I had no choice but to go back to work.

really id not give a flying f**k what you all think my children are my world and if i choose not to work to se e them grow up then thats my choice. Nice to have the choice:rolleyes:

fair enough it would be different if i was:

a 16 year old falling pg on purpose to get a council house and all the benefits i could get my hands on but i'm not. we rent privately and we only claim tax credits theres plenty more we could claim but we dont.

There really is no need for the bad language.
And you have made your thoughts on working mothers plain for all.

Graham_Devon

I just want to say, isnt it absolutely truly amazing that some people seem to think that their choice to stay at home and look after their kids is their choice and it effects no one else.

The tales of woe about 'if I go to work I won't see my children' are quite impressive. 'my husband has to go to work and then he needs to sleep, he only gets a weekend with them....pooooooooooor me'. So instead we have stopped working so we can spend time with each other.....theres nothing wrong with that....'f**k you all'..."

Wouldnt it be great if all those parents pulled out of the Navy, RAF, Army, SAS etc. If all fisherman stopped working. If doctors decided they all need to spend more time with their families. The UK would come to a grinding holt and we'd all be dead.

Why can't people understand that your woe stories about spending time with children is what the WHOLE OF THE UK goes through. We don't all just stop, give up and sponge off those who continue to try and better themselves.

Mummy, if your boyfriend / husband wanted the best for your family he would be out there doing the best for you all. Instead he sits at home all week doing nothing and works part time to keep benefits flowing nicely. This is while you tell the taxpayers they are heartless and to F off.

Congratulations.

ben500

I think you only have to read this and a few other threads to see the message is clear yet some are still not getting it.

Give up your job sign on kick back and wait for the giro or miss out on your childrens best years.

Hell where was mse all those years ago when I first started work! I've been so stupid with my life and even encouraged my children to do so. It makes me sick to the stomach that I have been so foolish all these years.

Only this week I was privvy to a conversation whereby someone was bleating about how unlucky they were as they had to turn down a job as they received the offer in the same week they had been allocated a council house. The reason if they took the job they wouldn't get a grant to furnish the new house!! Well it's understandable isn't it the decision was a no brainer! Poor unlucky s0d eh!

I'm off down the job centre tomorrow hope it doesn't take too long to beat a path through to the signing on booth I can't wait to sample daytime tv it sounds fascinating.

AND I won't find myself agreeing with GD on such a regular basis too!!!

TheWaltons_3

I think you need to get real lady.

My kids see there Dad 2 hours a day MAXIMUM throughout the week.

My DD loves her Daddy to bits and what makes ME swell with pride is when we drive to MY work, she sees her Daddys WORK and says 'Daddys in work Mummy' and waves.

My DD knows her Daddy is working very hard to keep us existing and that we love her very much but we have to go to work, otherwise we'll end up on Benefits pushing the latest Burberry Checked pram sporting the latest Nike Air Max trainers, driving the latest Vauxhall Astra and texting on the latest Mobile phone.

*shudders*