Better off Financially living apart or as a couple?

mummytohollieandpinkbump

Becles wrote: »

Why did you have a baby if you couldn't afford to pay for one? I presume from your sig that there is another baby on the way? Just curious.

yes there is another baby on the way.

when we decided to have a family both of us was working full time and paying tax.once i got pg i sadly had to leave work as my pregnancy made me seriuosly ill. once i had my daughter we decided we wanted to have another one so they were close in age (we both come from close knit familys and wanted the same for my daughter) my partner was also told he would recieve a payrise meaning we could afford another child but they decided when i was 10 weeks pregnant to demote him (through no fault of his own btw because they are greedy employers) so should i of had a n abortion then. dont hink so i could never ever kill my child thanks.

i also plan to go back to work once i have gone to uni. until then i am going to enjoy my time with my children as they grow up so quickly. whats wrong in that.

there are plenty of stay at home mums is everyone going to have a personal attack on them too.

Graham_Devon

mummytohollieandpinkbump wrote: »

really id not give a flying f**k what you all think my children are my world and if i choose not to work to see them grow up then thats my choice.

Your doing really well to compose yourself :T

I now do have an image in my head

dripdripdrip

viktory wrote: »

I think we should have vote and find out who supports the OP and who doesn't. Then find out which ones work and pay tax and which don't. Could be telling.

Great!

I love a good witch hunt :j

mummytohollieandpinkbump

viktory wrote: »

Believe it or not, even working full time there is still time to spend quality time with your family. Millions manage it.

really so is that why me and my partner were living seperate lives when he worked during the week leaving the house at dinner and getting back at 11pm. we would have no quality family time as he would spend most of his time catching up on his sleep in the mornings and at weekends as his job is very hard and tiring (i used to work with him btw so know exactly how hard).

is that also why i became depressed because i felt we werent a family i felt like i was a single mum.

now that he is working weekends we have more time to spend as a family. my daughter has a brilliant relationship with him now. before she would always come to me if upset etc now she goes to him. she says daddy constantly everyday and more so when hes not there. it makes my heart swell with pride and love as she never used to be like that when he was working weekdays.she hardly knew him then.

krisskross

mummytohollieandpinkbump wrote: »

first of all my partner is in a rubbish paid job and his wage just about covers the rent,bills and food. tax credits cover the rest.i WAS working til i fall pg with my daughter but had to leave as i was seriously ill with her. once we had her we decided to have another as we wanted our children close together.

second of all i was a taxpayer from the age of 16 til i fall pg at 18 and i plan to go to uni once my children are in nursery/school.

i would find a job but who would want to take on a 6 month pg lady and i would be working basically to pay for someone else to look after my kids and watch them grow up when it is my job to do so so wahts the point. i want my children to grow up having there mummy around as much as possible not in childcare everyday.

really id not give a flying f**k what you all think my children are my world and if i choose not to work to see them grow up then thats my choice.

fair enough it would be different if i was:

a 16 year old falling pg on purpose to get a council house and all the benefits i could get my hands on but i'm not. we rent privately and we only claim tax credits theres plenty more we could claim but we dont.

To a certain extent I admire you but consider other things. You paid tax for 2 years on a teenagers wage. I wouldn't think it amounted to much. you plan to go to Uni and train to be a midwife, agree this is admirable but the work ahead of you is huge. You will need minimally A levels to do this but there will also be a huge financial committment. Perhaps as you are intending to stay at home for the next 5 years or so you need to use some of that time to get an education. A lot of women say they intend to train as nurses or midwives. They often have no idea of the educational standards required.

TheWaltons_3

kimevans wrote: »

How much TAX & NI would you be paying on your 16 hour job then?
Less than you claim back in.......
Working tax credits
Child tax credits
Child benefit
Council tax benefit X TWO
Rent benefit X TWO
& some sort of invalididty benefit mentioned in the first post.

If you find proper hours to taxing (get the pun) I suggest you forget being self employed, as self employed people tend to work longer hours than PAYE wokers.
My husband is self employed, its Sunday & hes working (his 7th day in a row), it would be nice to have more "family time" as you do, but hey someones gotta pay to keep the benefits gravy train going.

:rotfl:

Tea all over the keyboard again Kim... thanks!

TheWaltons_3

krisskross wrote: »

To a certain extent I admire you but consider other things. You paid tax for 2 years on a teenagers wage. I wouldn't think it amounted to much. you plan to go to Uni and train to be a midwife, agree this is admirable but the work ahead of you is huge. You will need minimally A levels to do this but there will also be a huge financial committment. Perhaps as you are intending to stay at home for the next 5 years or so you need to use some of that time to get an education. A lot of women say they intend to train as nurses or midwives. They often have no idea of the educational standards required.

You don't need A Levels to be a Midwife!!

5 GCSE's grade C or above (Science, English and Maths) OR for an adult learner, a 1 yr access to Higher Education course and then apply via UCAS.

Also, I worked out if I went to University we would be about the same financially - yet it's not something I am considering because if I do it I want to give it 100% and you can't give anything 100% when you have little ones.

To the original poster - yeah you'd be better off living seperate financially.

And to everyone who is in uproar about this, thankfully they are now recognising that people are scamming the system and couples/married people are going to also get more incentive to stay together, and discincentives for single parents! (Not that I am gloating, but it wont pay to stay single anymore)

HURRAY! I very nearly applied for a Council house and trotted off with my 3 kids!

mummytohollieandpinkbump

viktory wrote: »

My husband works full time and has done for years. He has an excellent bond with both our children.



My sister in law had a much longed for baby. She would have loved to stay at home and enjoy his first years but had to go to work to provide for the child she planned. She hasn't relied on the tax payer to support her family, she, and my brother, pay their way. Posts like yours do make me angry as you appear to think that tax credits are a good excuse not to work. If your partner cannot support you and your children, then you should work and pay your way, not rely on the tax payer. You choose to have children, they are your children and therefore your responsibility.

i'm not using recieving tax credits as an excuse not to work. your forgetting we live in a very discrimnated country. not many employers are willing to take on a 6 month pg lady when they can employ someone who isnt.

i also wasnt relying on the tax payer to pay for my child. i was working before we planned our daughter until i got pg but had to quit as i was seriously ill. if i hadnt of gotten ill i would of continued to of worked and gone back after mat leave and worked through this pregnancy.i am not a benifit scrounger and never will be. tax credits just help us out and we claim no other benefits even though we could if we wanted.

liney

Not wishing to be rude... but how much sleep could your husband possibly need? Surely you had family time in the morning before he went to work, and possibly even more than the typical 9am - 5pm'er who children go to bed at 7pm. Life sucks.

You get a job, you go to work and pay the bills, repeat, repeat, repeat, until you retire, win the lottery, die or manage to think up a benefits scam (recently).

No one is having a go at SAHM's however those who chose to be, generally are self funded.

Graham_Devon

mummytohollieandpinkbump wrote: »

really so is that why me and my partner were living seperate lives when he worked during the week leaving the house at dinner and getting back at 11pm. we would have no quality family time as he would spend most of his time catching up on his sleep in the mornings and at weekends as his job is very hard and tiring (i used to work with him btw so know exactly how hard).

is that also why i became depressed because i felt we werent a family i felt like i was a single mum.

now that he is working weekends we have more time to spend as a family. my daughter has a brilliant relationship with him now. before she would always come to me if upset etc now she goes to him. she says daddy constantly everyday and more so when hes not there. it makes my heart swell with pride and love as she never used to be like that when he was working weekdays.she hardly knew him then.

So between the two of you you work 2 days a week, i.e. part time, maximum benefits etc.

So now we know why you feel for Craig quite so much.

Are you craigs lay-dee?!

Life sucks dont it. Shame 90% of the population has to put up with it while some sponge from us.

It's this kind of thing that gives benefits a bad name for those who truly need them, not because it suits their choices either, the people who actually do have inconviniences in their lives.