Better off Financially living apart or as a couple?

rachnbri

Originally Posted by mummytohollieandpinkbump
really so is that why me and my partner were living seperate lives when he worked during the week leaving the house at dinner and getting back at 11pm. we would have no quality family time as he would spend most of his time catching up on his sleep in the mornings and at weekends as his job is very hard and tiring (i used to work with him btw so know exactly how hard).

is that also why i became depressed because i felt we werent a family i felt like i was a single mum.

now that he is working weekends we have more time to spend as a family.


I can't help but wonder how hollie and bumps mummy is going to cope with the 12 hour night shifts she may have to work as a midwife as she seems to have a very strange idea of what a 'normal' working week actually means?

TheWaltons_3

rachnbri wrote: »

I can't help but wonder how hollie and bumps mummy is going to cope with the 12 hour night shifts she may have to work as a midwife as she seems to have a very strange idea of what a 'normal' working week actually means?

I think we should forgive her fanciful idea, seeing she is pregnant and probably just pulled widwife out the air...

mummytohollieandpinkbump

Graham_Devon wrote: »

<cough>

Yer, you would have to pay for childcare.

As it is, the taxpayer is instead paying for your childs childcare.

Whats with all the swearing by the way? Don't try and push an image into our heads

the swearing is because you have all upset me i shouldnt let it get to me but hey i'm pg my hormones are raging.i'm normally a very calm person but this has got to me.

i would prefer my daughter to be looked after by her own mother then go to a nursery/childminder after all a mothers love is the best.

nothing else more to say as i just cant explain what i want to say without having you or someone else have a go

Graham_Devon

Is widwife the lower working hours job!?

TheWaltons_3

mummytohollieandpinkbump wrote: »

the swearing is because you have all upset me i shouldnt let it get to me but hey i'm pg my hormones are raging.i'm normally a very calm person but this has got to me.

i would prefer my daughter to be looked after by her own mother then go to a nursery/childminder after all a mothers love is the best.

nothing else more to say as i just cant explain what i want to say without having you or someone else have a go

Yes maybe it is lovey, but it wears a bit thin when the kids are 9 and the Mothers are STILL SAHM.

Graham_Devon

mummytohollieandpinkbump wrote: »

the swearing is because you have all upset me i shouldnt let it get to me but hey i'm pg my hormones are raging.i'm normally a very calm person but this has got to me.

i would prefer my daughter to be looked after by her own mother then go to a nursery/childminder after all a mothers love is the best.

nothing else more to say as i just cant explain what i want to say without having you or someone else have a go

Don't tell the people that are paying to bring your daughter up that we are heartless !!!!!!!s and to f off.

Your husband has no excuse. You are the one in the wrong, not every single other person making you upset. YOU.

If this is the way your going to go through life, i.e. relying on everyone else to pay for your families existence when you both could do that perfectly well for yourselves but choose not to then be prepared to be upset many more times.

Anthillmob

mummytohollieandpinkbump wrote: »

ok so i tell you what i'll cancel my tax credits and have my daughter go hungry and live as a tramp shall i. i dont f***king think so.

god i am so angry at your reply.:mad:

if i COULD work i would trust me but why should i miss out on my children growing up. i've even been looking for a job but whos going to employ a 6 month pg lady not many people.so i'm waiting til my children are at school and then go to uni to train as a midwife and then shall be a taxpayer again.

also if i did go back to work i would be working just to pay for someone else to look after my children as childcare is far to expensive nowadays.

my daughter and my unborn child are my world and i dont want to miss a thing.

also before i got pregnant with my daughter i was working and paying taxes so we knew finacially we could afford to have a child without relying on benefits. but when i did get pregnant it made me very ill and i had to sadly leave work (which btw i miss terribly) once my daughter was born we decided we wanted another as we both come from a close knit family and we want our children to have the same.

and last thing. i could also apply for housing benefit and council tax benefit but we choose not too. i am NOt one of those who trys to get every benefit going. tax credits just help us out with the essentials for my daughter.

first off eh? in another thread youre on about getting a provident loan and from what i could make out you were single on benefits. you havent made it very clear.

anyway thats neither here nor there.

you wont miss out on your kids growing up if you work and i and other working mothers will take offence at anyone who spouts such carp.

why wait until your children are at school before you go to uni or get a job? dont spout about child care being too expensive, tax credits will pay towards the cost (and a very sizeable chunk of it) in the child care element.

if pregnancy made you ill yet you wanted another child, why didnt you return to work, even part time, between children to get some cash beind you?

Graham_Devon

Oh and one more thing before I sign out of this.

My parents may have not held my hand at every decision I had to make as a kid. They may have been out working when I could have asked them which path the choose.

But you know what, at least I can be damn proud of them. They bought me up solely off their own backs, bar child benefits, the ones everyone gets. Everything that I got, every toy that I was given, every christmas that I had with gifts (that may have not been as good as others gifts as they couldnt afford it), every single piece of food that i ever ate was worked for by my parents.

They did everything they could for me and my sister. And they worked roghly 80 hours a week between them too. When mum was at home, dad worked daytimes, came home for an hour and then did a night shift. Came home, went to sleep for 7 hours, and he was gone back to work.

I loved him, I looked up to him and I too used to wave to him as we went passed on the bus with mum in his workplace.

Your tales of woe are highly offensive to other, working families.

mummytohollieandpinkbump

krisskross wrote: »

To a certain extent I admire you but consider other things. You paid tax for 2 years on a teenagers wage. I wouldn't think it amounted to much. you plan to go to Uni and train to be a midwife, agree this is admirable but the work ahead of you is huge. You will need minimally A levels to do this but there will also be a huge financial committment. Perhaps as you are intending to stay at home for the next 5 years or so you need to use some of that time to get an education. A lot of women say they intend to train as nurses or midwives. They often have no idea of the educational standards required.

thank yuo for saying you admire me finally something nice has bene said.

also just to point out when i started working i wasnt on a teenagers wage i was on more then the minimum wage in my first job. in my second job i was a team leader and on a very very decent wage and on my last job i was on the minimum wage.

i also know the work ahead of me is going to be hard but i will be 1005 committed.

in fact i was going to do an access to uni course at college in sep but as i am now pg and baby is due oct i am postponing it. hopefully next year i can do it if my partner is still on a weekend shift.

i then will wait til my children are at school before going to uni so i have more time to focus on my exams etc etc.

i have really looked into this and given it some thought and i know it may be a finacial strain on our family when i do go to uni i know it will be worth it once i am a trained midwife. i one day hope to run my own birthing centre and or fertility centre.

mummytohollieandpinkbump

Graham_Devon wrote: »

So between the two of you you work 2 days a week, i.e. part time, maximum benefits etc.

So now we know why you feel for Craig quite so much.

Are you craigs lay-dee?!

Life sucks dont it. Shame 90% of the population has to put up with it while some sponge from us.

It's this kind of thing that gives benefits a bad name for those who truly need them, not because it suits their choices either, the people who actually do have inconviniences in their lives.

my partner works fri,sat and sun night 12 hour shift so 36 hours in total the same amount of hours he was on when working during the week so no he isnt part time and no we are not recieving maximum benefits just tax credits.

and i dont feel for craig i feel for his partner and child as they are the most important people in his situation its their safety i'm concerend about not how much he is better off finacially.

hope thats cleared it up for you