Better off Financially living apart or as a couple?

astonsmummy

kimevans wrote: »

You will have to travel to Brighton or Guilford for uni then?
I think its disgusting that Crawley one of the major towns in the south east (after Brighton) hasn't got a uni. They could at least have a satalite campus from Brighton running the most popular courses.

I'll go to brigton uni, guildford is further from here than brighton, plus they have teachng hospitals there, and haywards heath too, i meant i'd be in uni by 2009.
I'm trying to find out wether i can join the course with a level 2 but i reckon it will be a 3, so i could just finish the NVQ 2, go on to do the 3, then straight to uni without the access course, as i can do the NVQ's whilst working and in my own time .

Graham_Devon

Well I'm glad the compasions dried up.

People seem to be missing that this isn't just about him not wanting to work to gain maximum benefits, he's recieving WAY more than anyone else that would if they also chose that option. Why?

Well, the family has 2 of the councils houses! Not only does he want maximum benefits, but also 2 of the councils houses for their family of 3. That also means 2 lots of council tax etc etc etc.

Believe me, if he had to actually pay those 2 sets of council tax, he would be moving in with his girlfriend within a split second.

We need to get to grips with reality. Well, he does. Stop being so damned selfish and free up that house for someone else desperate for it and stop taking double benefits as a family. I bet they have more disposable income than me each week.

And to think the tax bill I have to pay for thousands of pounds before 31st July is going to these kind of idiots makes me sick. It will put me into my overdraft paying that bill, if I didnt have to pay it, I could buy a new car! I could take my family abroad (who havent been for around 20 years as they worked hard to just about survive). I could do loads of stuff. But no, I have to pay for scum like this.

There are posters on this forum who are cramming families of 5 into 2 bedroom houses because they work and with the house prices as they are, stamp duty and interest rates they have no choice.

This bloke has 2!!!

viktory

astonsmummy wrote: »

I'll go to brigton uni, guildford is further from here than brighton, plus they have teachng hospitals there, and haywards heath too, i meant i'd be in uni by 2009.
I'm trying to find out wether i can join the course with a level 2 but i reckon it will be a 3, so i could just finish the NVQ 2, go on to do the 3, then straight to uni without the access course, as i can do the NVQ's whilst working and in my own time .

Digressing just a tad, I did a level 3 NVQ in Business & Administration and an Access course in Higher Education. I was told I had to do both. Mind you, this was a good few years ago now!

astonsmummy

viktory wrote: »

Digressing just a tad, I did a level 3 NVQ in Business & Administration and an Access course in Higher Education. I was told I had to do both. Mind you, this was a good few years ago now!

oh well if thats the case, i'll just do the 2, i dont even know how to find out!

krisskross

The compassion Graham is mostly from people who are the 'takers' in life. Most of the rest of us who appear to be, in this instance, 'unwilling providers' think we should take responsibility for ourselves. I do object to the undoubted fact that people are being handed cash and benefits (like HB and CTB) that give them a far greater income than they could conceivably earn. the young man in this thread is convinced he can earn tens of thousands of pounds a year. Why isn't he doing it?

One day the Government will wake up to the fact that we are not willing to be cash cows to provide for those who have no wish to provide for themselves. There will have to be a shake up in the social welfare system.

bestpud

liney wrote: »

If the OP was so concerned about his violent tendencies, then he wouldnt have asked the question, because they would live apart regardless of whether they were better off financially as a couple or living apart.

I find it strange that it would cross his mind to move in, thus putting partner and child at risk, if it made them better off financially, but use it as a reason to stay apart if it didn't.

Exactly!!!

The violence is NOT the issue here. The OP asked if he would be better off FINANCIALLY if he moves back in with his partner. Therefore he is considering it but is a bit wary about the FINANCIAL implications. If he still feels himself a risk and cares soooo much, then why is he considering a move back? Wouldn't the violence issue come before anything financial?

It looks to me like the OP has been lucky enough to be given a council property (how many single men would?) and has now decided to become self employed. Nothing wrong with that but if he were still living with his family, he would have to build the business up while keeping them - the system is allowing him the luxury of taking his time, while knowing his family responsibilities are taken care of for him.

He has decided he may now be able to move back in (anger wise) but has realised it may not be as cushy financially as it is now and he may have to develop his business in the way most family men would - by working his butt off!!!

Also, the situation now is not normal so it is not a useful way to judge how they will get on as a couple. Let's be honest, how many of us would get on fine if we had two seperate flats to retreat to, our own income and plenty of time to spend as a family? Real life just isn't like that for most of us is it?

The OP is feeling sorry for himself but the true motive of the thread is blatently obvious in his very first post. It's his partner and child who should be geting sympathy (if anyone) not him!

Graham_Devon

I know of a couple who do live apart and have done for 12 years, have never moved in together and like that. He has his garage for his classic cars he's into, she has her spaces for whatever shes into (think it's her garden she loves).

They both stop over sometimes and have lived like this for the whole 12 years. They go out together, do not have a child, but one does have one from a previous relationship with sometimes stays with either of them (older).

However, it should be pointed out that the man is on a building site at 7am each morning through till 5pm and he lives 30 miles from it, so goes about 6am and gets home around 6.30pm.

The women is a nurse in a private hospital and works full time.

They both indvidually pay for their homes. Fine, absolutely nothing wrong with that. They pay their way and thats how they choose to live.

What we have here is someone wanting all that, but for the people above to pay for it. People who work to pay for it. Not him, he wants to do the minimum possible while gaining from his self employment AND spending more time with his kid that in his own words, he feels he's a threat to?! So as he's a threat...he wants to spend more time with them therefore can't work like everyone else!? I mean, could it get any worse!?

As for self employment and setting up a business. 16 hours per week!? Thats 2 days! What business runs on 2 days work....PLUS setting it up!

Everything is so unreal it's stupid!

If your still reading OP. This is what I do, to give you a sense of what we all do.

Work employed 15 hours a week. Work self employed roughly 22 hours aweek.

So thats 37 hours. What we not taking into consideration is my travelling time, another roughly 8 hours per week JUST to get to these jobs to earn money. 8 hours I could spend doing other things should I not be doing that work.

I then have four lunchbreaks a week, so another 4 hours unpaid but working, as I don't have anything to do on a lunchbreak in differing towns. An hours lunchbreak to me and many many other workers means maybe walk to the bank, get a sandwich and drink and go back to work, where you do not get paid.

Total all that up and thats 49 hours of my week gone.

Out of those 49 hours a week I am working roughly 10 SOLELY to pay tax money on the money earnt. That tax money goes towards people like you who cannot be bothered or choose to spend more time doing what you want to at my expense.

Then theres council tax, I'm working roughly 9 hours per monh just to pay that. Then I have National Insurance, another 10 hours a month just to pay that, soemthing which you do not but get exaclty what I do.

Then I have to pay for all the petrol/diesel I am using just to get to work, plus a car etc etc etc.

See why we get so pee'ved off with you when you say it's your choice and you want to spend more time with your family?

On top of all that, you get all the benefits TWICE. It's sick.

krisskross

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

So I believe you would consider me qualified to say again, but about your attitude towards the other members of the 'Fan Club' this time, don't judge, you don't know peoples' circumstances.

In this particular instance the OP has told us enough about his circumstances for it to be patently obvious that financial issues i.e.how will i get most money from the taxpayers is his primary concern.

My husband and I have both worked all our lives, him until he clocked up his 3rd heart attack to go with his profound deafness, rheumatoid arthritis, Meniere's disease and actually I could go on. He stopped work at age 60, but I carried on working fulltime, we still had a mortgage to pay. So please do not try to tell me we don't understand difficult circumstances, we have had more than our fair share.

I also have suffered from sort of depression, actually according to my GP post traumatic stress syndrome. This was after watching and hearing one of my patients jump from a 3rd floor window. I was on anti-depressants but thanks to a wonderful GP I got back to work. So I also feel eminently qualified to say that some people use life circumstances that can be overcome to their own financial advantage. We claim no benefits nor would wish to except the State retirement pension that we are entiled to. We do still however between us pay about £160 monthly in income tax to enable people like the OP to choose which direction he should take to maximise his benefit income. We could make very good use of that £160 month.

Anthillmob

im sorry but i think your partner and child are better off without you personally if you are prone to violence and violent outbursts. what your partner is still doing in a relationship with you i dont know.

apologies for the harshness but i lived with domestic violence for a few years and leopards do not change their spots.

krisskross

Just a thought but when did it become the crime of the century to 'judge' someone or to be 'judgemental'? Do we not all make judgements on the available information every day of our lives? Shall I cross the road now, no there is a car coming and I will get run over - I have made a judgement.

Someone lets the shop door go so it hits a young woman with a child, I make the judgement that it was a rude uncaring person that let the door go.

'Judgemental' appears to be the new racist as far as insults go. Daft I call it.