Better off Financially living apart or as a couple?

milkydrink

astonsmummy wrote: »

sorry i just got the impression from some that claiming tax credits was seen as the same as claiming dss benefits, i sometimes feel like i cant win.

MASSIVE difference to finding yourself in a pickle (can happen to anyone) & needing benefits/tax credits to tide you over & PLANNING to raise your children from the cradle to the grave on the DSS.

Do you start you NVQ at college & then go on to work in a hospital or what? You will probably end up in ESH at some point.

wifeforlife

mummytohollieandpinkbump wrote: »

hi sorry posting again but why should he work fulltime.

my partner worked monday to friday 2pm-10pm. he would leave at dinnertime not get back til 11pm and me or my daughter hardly saw him and at weekends he would be too tired to do family things. he is now working weekends although thankfully getting paid the same. the only reason for this so we can be a family and so my daughter can form a proper bond with him which she has and she adores him.

i know not the same situation as craig as he is living apart. but what if he got a full time job and be living apart from his partner and son that would be even worse. when would he have free time to go see them?

he will still be getting self respect,confidence etc etc in a part time job.

like i say his family come first whether he claims benefits or not,works part time or full time or even not at all if he chooses.what happened to putting family first or is craig the only one.(apart from me of course coz my family always come first:o )

luv leigh,hollie and pink bump x x x

I'll tell you why I think he should work full time, because he can! His partner is at home raising his child and is not working, so his child is being well looked after in a loving environment.

Another reason he should work full time is because the rest of us have too! Are you telling me I'm not putting my child first by going to work to provide for her?! Oh I am putting her first, I'm providing a roof over her head, I'm feeding and clothing her, any gifts or treats she may get I'm providing out of the hard earned cash I'm earning and a little help from wftc. I dont think it's wrong to be on benefits if your deserving, but in this case there are two adults and one child! In my opinion it doesnt take two adults to raise a child, I can do it by myself and I have had as many issues as the OP.

Whats stopping him from working full time and seeing the child for an hour in the evening, or weekends? Not all jobs are unsociable hours you know

Thanks
Cate

Becles

astonsmummy wrote: »

I couldnt afford to have aston when i did, his dad left me pregnant and i had to claim benefits, i now work part time and claim tax credits, shoould i hve aborted him or given him to a 'rich family' because 'everyone else' is paying for him :rolleyes:

I may not earn loads to pay tax on but what would the holier than thou posters rather.
1. I sit on my fat aris all day doing sod all and getting social money or
2. going out to work (part time) as a homecare worker, claiming tax credits, starting and NVQ in next week, hopefully going on to do nursing once aston is in full time school in other words BETTERING MYSELF for me and my son.

There's a difference here. You got yourself into a pickle (not blaming you - it happens!), however the safety net of benefits caught you, looked after you for a bit and now you're working hard to provide you and Aston with the best life you can. There's nothing wrong with that and I admire everything you have achieved.

However some people have babies on purpose knowing the state will support them. That's using the state as a lifestyle choice, rather than getting help in a time of need which is what it should be used for.

astonsmummy

kimevans wrote: »

MASSIVE difference to finding yourself in a pickle (can happen to anyone) & needing benefits/tax credits to tide you over & PLANNING to raise your children from the cradle to the grave on the DSS.

Do you start you NVQ at college & then go on to work in a hospital or what? You will probably end up in ESH at some point.

I'm doing the NVQ through my work, then applying for uni for next september hopefully, but i might have to do an access course first meaning i wont get to start until 2010.

astonsmummy

Becles wrote: »

There's a difference here. You got yourself into a pickle (not blaming you - it happens!), however the safety net of benefits caught you, looked after you for a bit and now you're working hard to provide you and Aston with the best life you can. There's nothing wrong with that and I admire everything you have achieved.

However some people have babies on purpose knowing the state will support them. That's using the state as a lifestyle choice, rather than getting help in a time of need which is what it should be used for.

yeah sorry, explained what i thought was meant a few posts up.

milkydrink

astonsmummy wrote: »

I'm doing the NVQ through my work, then applying for uni for next september hopefully, but i might have to do an access course first meaning i wont get to start until 2010.

You will have to travel to Brighton or Guilford for uni then?
I think its disgusting that Crawley one of the major towns in the south east (after Brighton) hasn't got a uni. They could at least have a satalite campus from Brighton running the most popular courses.

kelloggs36

There is a world of difference between you and the SAHM who has posted here - she implies that it is her choice to stay at home and claim tax credits whilst having another baby!! You on the other hand are doing something positive so that you don't have to - that's the difference and most people support people like you!!!

kelloggs36

I was talking to astonsmummy btw!!

milkydrink

Gosh Astonsmummy all this support & patting you on the back, you must be all warm & glowing inside, LOL LOL LOL

wifeforlife

kimevans wrote: »

Gosh Astonsmummy all this support & patting you on the back, you must be all warm & glowing inside, LOL LOL LOL

Yeah she deserves it, she's lovely!

Cate