Better half of 2014 - all about me

ellesbellesxxx

Oh believe me, we have all been there!!! Well... I have definitely been there!!! I remember seeing one guy for a few weeks, I was envisaging not even weddings but just some nice times ahead, then he casually dropped in that he wasn't looking for a relationship - first of all, I thought errr, you have been doing all the chasing? Then I thought oh! Der! Felt like a right idiot... but the next weekend, told him (not unlike my good friend Carrie Bradshaw) that I was "looking for love". From your posts earlier this year, you were really motivated and having a whale of a time, men were just "people to have fun with." (Wow, I am really bringing out the SATC quotes today!)
I would sling London boy to the kerb, you are so much better than that. Get back online and wink at some men... try winking at someone who you might think on paper wasn't quite for you and you might be surprised... my husband and I weren't sure how well we would get on as we were into completely different things but we really clicked!

lulabelle

Yeah you're right. He's barely been in touch anyway so it's obvious he's not that bothered.

Had a bit of a down day today and stuffed face and missed training but will go to training tomorrow and get life back on track

Have dinner with a friend tomorrow (which am dreading as she has perfect life and leaving to move in with her lovely man) but out with friends fri and have a girly night at a friends sat

Currently sat on sofa with the darling cat who is so cute and whom I love very much. He always cheers up my day with his affectionate little ways!

lulabelle

Sadly missed training as not sleeping so have told trainer will start again next week as think this will be a week of not sleeping great and coming to terms with things

London boy is in Liverpool for work today then Birmingham tonight. No mention of seeing each other again and he's really barely in touch which is different to normal. Know he's quite busy this week but can't help thinking it's more. In fact, he was telling me last thurs how he'd basically withdrawn like this from the girl he was with in jan

I'm working up to telling him there's no mileage in this as though it's not what I want it's self preservation

I think I need to take a break from men again and work on myself. For some reason I'm obviously being drawn to the wrong type of man and maybe I need to get myself into a better place before I think about sharing my life with someone

Was tempted to call in sick today even though I'm not. Just wanted to stay in bed and sleep. Am going to go in slightly late instead.

Dreading this dinner with friend tonight but I probs won't see her now for a long time as she's leaving and I've known her since I was 1 so I ought to make the effort. She's just one of those who life turns out perfectly for which is good for her obviously but makes me feel !!!! about my own life!

lulabelle

Not sure I've done the right thing but have taken control and sent the following message to London boy: "hiya. I've been thinking and though obviously I like you, and think we get on pretty well, I am not sure there's much point in us seeing each other again. For whatever reason you've gone pretty quiet since weekend and an intermittent interest doesn't really do it for me. Hope you find what you are looking for. x"

Not sure I feel better for doing it as I do like him and fancy him but instinctively i feel he was going to call it quits anyway as: a) he'd gone abnormally quiet, b) he'd made friends with the skank, c) he was still on dating site and d) no mention of meeting up again

Feeling pretty upset now and trying to avoid wine but not sure I can

ellesbellesxxx

Good for you though, that was very brave... It would have been tempting I am sure to see if he redeemed himself but I think you would have always worried.how was the dinner? Hope it was ok xx have some chocolate

supersaver1000

Lulabelle. You've done the right thing. You deserve more and you will find someone who treats you with the respect you deserve and as their special one. Don't waste your time on almost rans.

lulabelle

I cancelled the dinner as couldn't face listening to her perfect life stories


God, so, London boy responded like this "ha ha the message chain supports my opinion that I thought it was you who went intermittent (I've been manic!) however not to worry - I have been humming and harring a bit myself and edging towards thinking the same. You live in x and I live in y, we both need adult relationships and you need to make a location and career decision over what you should do for you not what suits me etc. If you make a decision that makes x closer let me know and don't be a stranger whatever you decide - I do like you and enjoy spending time with you and was glad you made a return visit.x"


There was then a load of messages back and forth whereupon I backtracked a lot as I do actually like him and want to see him again, I just thought that he didn't want to see me again.


He's now saying we both need to have a think about what we really want


Not quite sure what to do now.


Though did see last night (just before I sent my msg) he was online on the dating site (so was I but only to cheer self up as felt he'd lost interest).


GOD!

supersaver1000

Not sure why you have to make a location decision Lulabelle. Me and my OH have lived apart for most of our relationship except for weekends. He used to take the train to me on a Friday night, then leave on Sunday afternoon. Not ideal, but we made it work.

It's definitely better when you are together all the time. My best friends husband used to live in Jersey and he had to fly over here to see her. Then he moved here and we are really not the centre of the universe and he had a very good career.

I think you'll know when it happens. It sounds like you are both looking for company. Don't give mixed messages. You've finished it, if he was upset he would have been on the next train, flight or on the phone all evening. Not on a dating website.

The only thing I would say about friends with lovely men, is that lovely men's friends are often just as lovely, and it's much easier to find out their background. Give your friend a try, one day you may be the same.

Anyway, hang in there.

lulabelle

Thanks SS, and of course you're totally right. I've tried to be nice and normal with him today yet, despite his being on and off what's app all day/night nothing from him since 4pm. Given what I said in my message to him, if he was really that bothered about me he'd have called, suggested coming over or at the very least, been in touch enough to make me feel he still wanted something

I suspect he's half seeing someone else and hedging his bets.

Well, screw him

Bubblesmum

Supersaver100 is right.... If he held you in any regard.... A phonecall and flowers.....

Focus on you this weekend... Pamper yourself, try something different - tango / salsa - go and have some fun!

Cats are just joyous friends to have.

I always wonder that those who paint a perfect life in public, have hidden difficulties that we do not see. They just find it easier to put this front to the world.

Hugs Mrs B