Better half of 2014 - all about me

supersaver1000

Sounds fab Lulabelle. I've finished my ironing now so going to have lunch before starting my uni work and interview/job prep this afters.

I did that exercise a couple of months ago where you write down what your ideal life would look like and how that would work in reality for you. You have to write down the complete fantasy life, no holds barred, then start to think how it would work in reality. Interestingly (for me anyway) lots of money in reality was not at the top of my list. i realised when I really thought about it that lots of money would most likely lead to arguments between me and my DH, because he would want to spend it and, his spending habits mean he always spends more than he has in the bank, therefore we (or he, because we'd more than likely divorce) would end up in even more debt because he'd be out of control. Therefore my ideal life looked something like a little more security and that meant a little more money which was quite possibly achievable. So once you've got the ideal in mind you then have to look at the steps backwards to achieving it.

Your ideal life probably looks very different to how mine would be, but it's worth taking a moment and mapping it out. Then looking how it would work and what you would give up or not and how you could go about achieving it

Not sure if that makes sense or not, but I'd definitely recommend it.

Have a great afternoon.

SS1k

ps my fantasy life is saved somewhere on the notes in my phone, just in case we win the lottery. :rotfl:

lulabelle

Thanks SS. As I sat crying to myself last night (!) I just said out loud "why can't I just have a family". Tbh, although I obv want security I really just want a lovely husband and a couple of fabulous kids. An ideal weekend for me would be taking them out to a park or zoo and baking with them then opening a bottle of red with the hubbie. Sadly, it doesn't seem to be something I can achieve and I guess what I'm saying is, I don't know if the reason for this is because of the location I'm in or that it's just not written in the stars for me and at least here I have my wonderful friends and if I moved I might not get what I want plus be minus the friends

Buffythedebtslayer

I think the same Lula, that sounds like my ideal weekend too. I think if I could go back to my thirty six year old self I would tell her to take every chance, even if you end up hurt or feeling bad. there is a chance it might work out. I would scream in the face of my 25 year old self not be such a !!!! over my then bf!!!


speaking for myself I know it is too late for me and need to teach myself to be content with pets and hobbies and holidays and what ever else I can find to do.


As you say it isn't in the stars for me.


Just remember, nothing stays the same for ever. your life where you are now may not be like this in 5 years?


not sure I am helping!


take care XXX

supersaver1000

Hi Lulabelle, sorry you are down, hope you are better today. Sometimes it's so hard to see the positives and the one thing you want doesn't seem to happen.

Buffys right, I would tell my 25 year old self to get on with things and not waste time on losers. The guys who are flirting around aren't marriage material. What you look for in someone for a fun night out isn't what you need in a long term partner. Do you ever watch Millionaire Matchmaker. If you're looking to settle down, Patti says no sex without monogamy! Good advice. (She also says if you haven't got a ring in 2 years then jog on - I wish I'd listened to that one for sure).

Hope you feel better soon, you sounds like you have a great life but just going through a down patch.

Take care

SS1K

lulabelle

Thanks guys

I'm in a weird move and thinking I don't want to leave where I am at all. I like the security of this place and the familiarity. It may be slightly helped by fact gay Bessie back at the minute

So London boy is coming over next weekend. He finally got off his !!!! and booked his flight. But he's made it clear hell never move here so if I want long term I'll have to move there. Anyway, will see what next weekend brings - my mate says he looks like a player

In other news I decided I was sick of having no nice jewellery so yesterday I went into the jewellers where my engagement ring was for sale and retrieved it!!! It's been almost 6 years since we split and I now feel enough time has passed I can wear it without being wistful. Plus it's bloody gorgeous and looks great on my finger. Must get it insured though - was on for £11,200!!!!

supersaver1000

Glad to hear you are sounding so positive.

lulabelle

Thanks SS. I think I'm feeling a bit better as had a good couple of nights with mates this week and reminded me why I'm here. May mean I never have a husband or kids but maybe that's how it's meant to be, I don't know

Am looking forward to London boy arriving Friday but also don't want it to arrive as may be last time I see him. I know he is not keen on the distance but hoping he has such a good time he thinks it's worth a try

supersaver1000

Its hard coming to terms with some things, I know from experience. However, no one knows what is around the corner. My DH didn't want kids until after we were married, then he just changed overnight.

You are right, don't give up, but don't make it your focus. Someone's signature on here reads something like 'Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans' and its so true. Get on with other things and you'll see.

Have a good time with London Boy!

SSK1 x

lulabelle

Thanks Ss. So I've lost a bit of focus with fitness in the last 10 days or so. Partly because I was a little down and partly cos I'm a lazy cow!!! Didn't do anything this week as been feeling rotten (sore throat, banging headache) but made trainer this morning which I'm glad about

My cv is now out there on a small scale yet I'm not pushing it nor have I booked a week in Bristol which perhaps is telling me that's not the right thing to do and I should in fact sit tight

Work is ok, not busy which is worrying but then there's people who earn more than me yet bill less so they are unlikely to get rid of me. Plus it's been such a busy and stressful year that having a bit of breathing space is no bad thing as I do have to reduce stress levels

Went back to specialist yesterday for the results of my biopsy and she said I had CN1 changes which scared me a little though she's hoping that the treatment I've had will nip it in the bud. I'd put it off for so long and I won't do that again

Kind of not wanting London boy to come now as I think he's only really coming for you know what and I actually quite like him so will be gutted if we have a great weekend then it's done. That said, you do have to speculate to accumulate and if you don't try then that is a sure fire way to end up alone

supersaver1000

Sometimes you need a little time to recuperate. I've given myself a few days off and it's done me the world of good.

Have a lovely weekend, you only live once ! Just do what you want to do, no-one else. 😄