Better half of 2014 - all about me

lulabelle

Thanks for suggesting I go ss - actually had a really fun night - he says he did too and said he'd like to take me out again. I am not "investing" though and taking it as it comes

Got a horrid hangover today though so just don't feel like doing the chores I'd planned and probably can't manage a run!

supersaver1000

Fun is fab, chores will wait.

lulabelle

He was actually a lot of fun

Went home with him - oops!

lulabelle

Omg so have been chatting to a guy on dating website and then we became Facebook friends and I've just booked a flight to go and see him in 2 weeks time!

This dating lark is brilliant!!!

supersaver1000

You little minx :rotfl:

lulabelle

He he, I know. And I think I've decided, rather than give up on men completely, to just date as many as possible at the same time to try them on for size!

lulabelle

Hi everyone.

Sorry I've been MIA.

I'm in a bit of a rut again. Went to London last weekend to meet the guy. Got on fabulously and had a great time and he's allegedly coming over here in 2 weeks time but not sure if he wants anything long term because of the distance

Anyway, whilst I was over in London I was loving the anonymity. Made me think about how stuck I feel where I am and made me start wanting to leave. Then I had a huge (high school) row with one of my friends and that made me want to leave even more

Now I don't know what to do

Been here 10 years and am 36. Am not desperately unhappy but I am not particularly happy either. Feel like I'm kind of stuck and don't really know what direction to go in

Positives about here are I have great friends, it's safe, it's pretty, the wages are excellent, low tax, love my little house.

Negatives are, it's so insular and people are so gossipy and opinionated, there are zero decent men here and I get scared of dying alone, hate my job and would be v hard to change and still live same lifestyle

I have a place in London so toying with going back there but worried I will be lonely. Also will have to stay in same profession to afford to live half decently there. Apparently the area where my flat in has really changed and is fairly cool now and if sold up here could pay off mortgage there and live mortgage free

I also fancy bristol. Don't know many people there but think it would be easier to make friends and less lonely then London. Downside is again would prob (at least short term) have to stay in same profession and would effectively be taking a 50% pay cut due to regional salary and tax difference

I just do not know what to do at all. I've obv tired the usual making a list of positives and negatives but that's not helped

What the heck do I do?!

supersaver1000

Don't ask me, I just changed jobs and made an uber bad decision. Hated it. The advice on the tinternet is to not think that leaping out of one job will necessarily mean that the new one is better. They suggest trying to see things from a different angle, can you do something different at work - ask, try everything before you actually leave. Can you do a secondment, shadow someone.

Moving .... Hmm. It really depends. You see you can't run away from yourself - not that I'm saying that's what you are doing, but as above, just make sure of your reasons. How about a career break for 6 months? I lived in a small town from about 23 years old - I was an au pair in Geneva in my teens and I really wished I'd taken an opportunity to go back and work there in my proper job when I was older. I had pets and wouldn't leave them, but in hindsight that was a little silly, I should have at least tried to find them good homes. However I did take a bit of a plunge and moved to somewhere lovely later and it was fab, wish I'd done it years back. I'm in the country now, but the next move will be town, then I think a city. I'm going to experience it all. Just cover yourself so you can exist financially and then get out there and try things. Just make sure you are doing it because you want to experience it not because you think it will make your life perfect. I think I've already said I met my DH through someone, so small town was perfect for me in the end. Funnily enough just when Id given up trying and thought I'd nest for myself. Find somewhere you are really happy then if Mr right comes along its a Brucie bonus, if not at least you'll be living somewhere you love.

Sermon over

lulabelle

Thanks SS. I guess part of my problem at the moment is that if I really really drill down into the reasons to stay and the reasons to leave the only real reason to leave is to find a guy and I'm not sure that's a good enough reason as there is obviously no guarantee that will happen

Where I live is so safe, I can walk to work in 8 minutes, I can go on a night out and walk home alone at 3am and know I'm not going to be attacked, I can run along the sea front after work, I can meet my friends (and I do have a very good group of friends here) at the drop of a hat for drinks or dinner, I love my little place (it's not perfect but it's mine and I love it. In fact the decorator came round yesterday as I'm getting bits and bibs touched up in case I do decide to sell and he said that the room sizes are amazing compared to other properties he's seen), the cat is happy here(!). Ok, work was awful earlier this year as it was so busy and stressful I started losing my hair (literally) and it's the other way now, too quiet and I'm worrying I'm not generating enough work but of I really wanted to I could change careers here (not sure what into but I'd find a job)

If I left, yes there might be more going on in a city like Bristol and I do know one or two people there but I may struggle to make friends and then might feel really lonely and still have no guy. If I was 30 I think I'd feel differently, I think it might be because I'm 36 and worrying about biological clock.

On a different note, mr London who is allegedly coming to visit in 2 weeks has still not booked his flight and had said he was going to look over the weekend. He's not had time to do that but he's had bloody time to be online on the website clearly chatting to other girls! So I think I'm gojng to sack him off - it's not enough for me. This is the problem with internet dating, the grass is always greener though I'm loath to give up as you have to play the numbers game plus I do know of several of my friends who have met someone decent online

Didn't do too well on the MSE front yesterday. Was doing really well with just over a week before pay day but then ruined it by deviating from list in WR then being down over London boy so buying several CDs and DVDs to cheers self up but I now just feel guilty about it

lulabelle

So despite trying to talk myself out of it I just went for a run and I do feel better. I've entered a 10k on 7 dec so following a programme for that. Have had a protein shake as breakfast and now going to shower. Then think I'll clean the kitchen and possibly the lounge then sit down and read. I love reading but instead dedicate my time to Facebook and what's app and instead, should focus on something I enjoy doing

I will have soup and toast for lunch and try to avoid snacking