Struggling with Family/Family Wedding/Life

Nicki

Do you have a very different sense of style to your sister and cousin OP?

Whilst it isn't right to browbeat you into spending money on a hair and make up trial if you don't have it, I just wonder whether they perhaps have a particular quite conservative/formal sense of style and you have a more unconventional one?

If the bride is thinking about her photographs and the way she wants things to look on the day, perhaps she is getting herself agitated by the cousin who wants to wear a skin tight dress with her bust hanging out (which the bride thinks is a size too small) and flaunting a large visible tattoo, which she didn't have when she was asked to play that role? I'm kind of thinking of a Carol Vorderman type situation, where the dress fastens and has a certain look, but most of us would opt for the next size up which would create a completely different impression. This picture might demonstrate what I mean!

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=carol+vorderman&espv=2&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=6MfBU79g5tPsBqOXgbAO&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAQ&biw=1920&bih=955#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=Xq6DrRKB_zsxuM%253A%3BIFbUdV_pB8ytBM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.contactmusic.com%252Fpics%252Flf%252Fitv_studios_3_040712%252Fcarol-vorderman-at-the-itv-studios-london_3975852.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.contactmusic.com%252Fphoto%252Fcarol-vorderman-at-the-itv-studios-london-england---040712_3975852%3B500%3B729

It could well not be personal at all, just an irritation by your sister, cousin and mother that you are deliberately choosing to force your own tastes and style on the cousin's wedding and her photos, when most of us suck it up when asked to be a bridesmaid and wear the peach polyester monstrosity and the 1980's updo the bride has picked out with good grace

Person_one

I thought people chose their bridesmaids based on the closeness of the relationship, not the way they look?

Pyxis

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR AVA_ADORE,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

:bdaycake:

_party_ _party_ _party_

:T :T :T

Give yourself a pamper day!
Do whatever YOU want!
Pop to the 'corner shop' and buy some delicacies, (sod the calories!)
And treat yourself!

:j :j :j

:beer:


(DLTBGYD!)

amanda47

HAPPY BIRTHDAY :beer: :T

Nicki

Person_one wrote: »

I thought people chose their bridesmaids based on the closeness of the relationship, not the way they look?

In an ideal world they would. But if you Google you will see that there are pages and pages of hits where brides are upset about bridesmaids getting unsightly tattoos shortly before the wedding day. So it may not be too far off the mark to guess that the problem in this case is nothing to do with the OP's personality or character and everything to do with her decision to buy her dress in a size smaller than everyone thinks is appropriate for the day and to get another tattoo. I've certainly read threads on here before where brides (and guests) have been appalled by a lot less (the no male guests with facial hair one for example or the biatchfest about the brides mother in the purple evening gown for example)

Gigervamp

Happy Birthday! :bdaycake:

I hope you have a lovely day.

sulphate

KxMx wrote: »

Weddings can be quite divisive and really change people!

I know a lovely young couple who just got married, and was shocked when they asked for money instead of gifts, to go towards their "first house fund".

They already live in a property that he inherited 50% of (the other half to his mother) and both earn really top wages. One doesn't even have to commute as she works around the corner from said house.

I have spoken to mutual friends and no-one even knew they were going to move, and others have the same opinion of it as I do. Not a very high one!

You don't HAVE to give a gift if you don't want to.

We asked for vouchers for our wedding so we would be able to furnish our first house with nice things when the time came. No one thought it was bad form that I'm aware of.

I've gone to weddings where a gift list was sent out in the invite and people complained about how rude they thought it was and how a lot if the things on the list were expensive.

It just goes to show that you can't please everyone

OP - happy birthday!!!

Gigervamp

In the old days, wedding presents helped couples set up their new homes. Nowadays, most couples have already got everything they need as they've been livng together for years.

When hubby and I got married, we said that we didn't need any wedding presents, but if people wanted to give us something, then money to spend on our honeymoon would be greatly appreciated.

One aunt did say that she would rather get us something we could keep and asked if there was anything we would like, so as I'd seen a really nice vase in Past Times, she got us that.

onlyroz

I've never been a bridesmaid but surely it's not normal to expect them to pay for their own dress and makeup?

ava_adore

I posted a couple of responses to the rude insinuations that my tattoos are unsightly, or that my cousin (who sees me once a year) or sister (who is incredibly fattist) have a better idea of what dress size I should be wearing. My cousin is a pierced plus size goth with ever changing hair in rainbow colours. My sister wears the same style as I do, 50's pin up, she's just four dress sizes smaller. My tattoos are not unsightly and I am not squeezing myself into a dress that's too small. All the sizings were checked in advance and the dress has been tried on.

I feel that the person who decided to offend me probably doesn't like alternative styles, therefore has no place in my thread.

That's all I'm saying on the subject so if anyone else feels the need to offend my personal style then please don't bother.

On a more positive note, THANK YOU for the birthday wishes very kind to get such nice birthday love xx