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Ex sent to prison and wants his wife to continue with our contact order!

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Comments

  • Lieja wrote: »
    Well let's get past the drugs thing because that's clearly not your issue.

    The fact you're actually considering removing your son's dad from his life is awful, and that's putting it mildly. Sounds to me like it's too much effort for you, and too much control you're losing by having his dad and stepmum have contact, without a real thought for your son. I'm not buying your concern about drugs.


    I consider myself a law abiding citizen. I live by the book and always have. If my ex is a !!!! up and a drug dealer then let him run his and his wife's life into the ground not my sons life that's y I'm considering removing him. However a judge may order me to do something different!
  • "Set in a routine", yes, "done slowly"... why?

    Yes at 4 y. o. he will accept what you tell him and be happy (probably).

    What about if he is 16 and asking you about his father?

    Il explain his father was selfish and sold drugs il then explain I done what I thought was the best thing for him & his future......
  • Lieja
    Lieja Posts: 466 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture
    Il explain his father was selfish and sold drugs il then explain I done what I thought was the best thing for him & his future......

    And it'll be just that easy. Except it won't, because he'll be granted contact and the bad feeling between his parents will make his life more difficult than it need be. And his dad will have a side to the story too, which he won't disbelieve just because he was happy with you at four years old. And it'll be obvious which parent was the selfish one, and too late to do anything about it.
  • mountainofdebt
    mountainofdebt Posts: 7,795 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker

    She thinks I don't like her so I don't see the need to meet and go through all that!
    There really is no need for either of our partners to meet each other unless a cause for concern arises!

    She thinks you don't like her ??? I don't know you and I would say you don't a) like or b) trust her

    Wonder what you would say if your new partner was convicted of a crime and your ex threw ' a strop' about your partner being able to see your son
    2014 Target;
    To overpay CC by £1,000.
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  • fizzytrinket
    fizzytrinket Posts: 404 Forumite
    I would never ever let my child visit a prison. Nor would I let the child stay with the stepmother if the father wasn't there.
  • ElizabethMcdubh
    ElizabethMcdubh Posts: 41 Forumite
    edited 3 July 2014 at 11:23PM
    She thinks you don't like her ??? I don't know you and I would say you don't a) like or b) trust her

    Wonder what you would say if your new partner was convicted of a crime and your ex threw ' a strop' about your partner being able to see your son


    I do not know her well enough to not trust her, all I know is she has no children if her own so she doesn't know what it's like to be a real mother. No matter how much she can understand and love my son at the end of the day he is my son and I have to do what I feel is best, I don't think it's best for him to visit prison and I don't think he should spend a year of every other weekend with her without his dad, he won't understand. He associates her with his dad?...

    It would depend on the crime he committed, we are not talking a parking offence we are discussing being imprisoned for possession with intent to supply that's a whole different thing, I would leave my partner if that's the life he chose that's no good for me or my son!
  • ElizabethMcdubh
    ElizabethMcdubh Posts: 41 Forumite
    edited 3 July 2014 at 11:27PM
    I would never ever let my child visit a prison. Nor would I let the child stay with the stepmother if the father wasn't there.


    Precisely how I feel, however would a judge agree being that his known her since he was 9 months old, she has no criminal convictions and is a connection to my sons paternal family and she is also my sons dad wife and 11 weeks pregnant with a half sibling.

    To me it sounds like she has a good build up for why the contact should stay in place but just because it looks good on paper why does that mean it should happen!

    I think the order would be without a doubt revoked if she was just a girlfriend but as they are husband and wife it will probably be viewed differently, why I don't know because she's still the same person regardless of their marital status!!
  • If she wasn't his wife and wasn't carrying his child would any of you view this situation differently?
  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I do not know her well enough to not trust her, all I know is she has no children if her own so she doesn't know what it's like to be a real mother.

    Oh for crying out loud.

    I'm out, if this is even for real then its pointless anyway.
  • Ms_Chocaholic
    Ms_Chocaholic Posts: 12,761 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Me too.
    This thread was pointless. The OP had her mind made up before posting. Wasting all our time.

    TROLL !
    Thrifty Till 50 Then Spend Till the End
    You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time
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