Ex sent to prison and wants his wife to continue with our contact order!

ElizabethMcdubh

Lieja wrote: »

This is the saddest post of the whole thread.

What I mean is I don't think it would be detrimental. His very young and adapting to a new life which he is excited about

Lieja

ElizabethMcdubh wrote: »

What I mean is I don't think it would be detrimental. His very young and adapting to a new life which he is excited about

Losing a pair of loving and caring parents, and then having to get to know them all over again with a new baby in tow, wouldn't be detrimental? What planet are you living on?

ElizabethMcdubh

Mojisola wrote: »

Doesn't the fact that the court gave him the contact he wanted suggest that you were in the wrong, not him?

No because it wasn't a right or wrong case, it was a year long argument of him asking for school holidays and more time etc the court said my son isn't in school so school holidays are irrelevant for now and that as I'm moving contact should be every other weekend with meets half way... I would have offered the same contact once I moved but my ex didn't trust I would because he feels I was with holding my son from him as he didn't see him as much as he wanted. He doesn't understand that we are separated and he can't just take our son when he wants! These things have to be set in a routine and done slowly!

ElizabethMcdubh

Lieja wrote: »

Losing a pair of loving and caring parents, and then having to get to know them all over again with a new baby in tow, wouldn't be detrimental? What planet are you living on?

We'll how is his father to resume contact after, what if he still sells drugs etc I'm not sure that he should be in my sons life and if he is it should be reintroduced slowly.

I will absolutely be going back to court to ask for supervised contact if he wants contact when he is released. I need to be sure these people are not around anymore

duchy

Lieja wrote: »

Yes but that wasn't the question. Should they be denied a relationship with their children?

No the question was can the girlfriend have proxy access (and take him to visit in prison) whilst the Dad is in prison.
Six months to a year isn't forever -and Dad can write and ring him in the meantime.
I wouldn't send my four year old in a house where drugs and intimidation happened blended family or not -I'd want a few assurances from the Dad before restarting access after his release too.

Ms_Chocaholic

But it didn't happen in the home, it happened in the city centre. The Police executed a warrant and nothing was found in the home - OP has confirmed this.

purpleshoes_2

Lieja wrote: »

Losing a pair of loving and caring parents, and then having to get to know them all over again with a new baby in tow, wouldn't be detrimental? What planet are you living on?

I think a very cautious and sensible one given the circumstances of the father being in prison.

Lieja

ElizabethMcdubh wrote: »

We'll how is his father for to resume contact after, what if he still sells drugs etc I'm not sure that he should be in my sons life and if he is it should be reintroduced slowly

Well let's get past the drugs thing because that's clearly not your issue.

The fact you're actually considering removing your son's dad from his life is awful, and that's putting it mildly. Sounds to me like it's too much effort for you, and too much control you're losing by having his dad and stepmum have contact, without a real thought for your son. I'm not buying your concern about drugs.

ElizabethMcdubh

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

But it didn't happen in the home, it happened in the city centre. The Police executed a warrant and nothing was found in the home - OP has confirmed this.

Having said that what if it was removed before they got there? What if somehow someone knew he was rested and removed trace evidence.. I have to consider all this!

wildincrawley

Mojisola wrote: »

By "her", I meant ElizabethMcdubh.

Your friend and his family have really got it sorted - shows how good it can be when people work at it.

ElizabethMcdubh wrote: »

What I mean is I don't think it would be detrimental. His very young and adapting to a new life which he is excited about

"Set in a routine", yes, "done slowly"... why?

Yes at 4 y. o. he will accept what you tell him and be happy (probably).

What about if he is 16 and asking you about his father?