I didnt like my wedding day - how to cope

sulphate

I think it's only natural to be disappointed if things don't go 100% to plan - you probably spent a lot of money on it and expected it to be just perfect. Unfortunately as you've now discovered it doesn't always work that way I'm afraid.

We got married last year and there were definitely parts of the day that didn't go as well as others. My bridesmaids were useless for example. One of them had brought her dress scrunched her dress up in her rucksack so it was all crumpled, asked me to take photos of them getting ready, kept laughing derisively at my mum... We got ready at the venue, I went out the room to sort out the flowers, came back, and they'd commandeered one dressing room each (I had 2 bridesmaids, there were 2 dressing rooms) so I had nowhere to change and ended up doing so in the space of about 10 minutes whilst they took 2 hours to get ready.

It doesn't matter though because there were wonderful parts of the day too, we had unexpected snow so we had a white wedding and beautiful photos to go with it, plus obviously marrying my husband and having an awesome day together, seeing most of my family, dancing with all the children (no one else wanted to dance lol), amazing bridal suite, great food, first dance etc. just try to focus on the positives

Idiophreak

catkins wrote: »

Is it because so many couples live together before so the "marriage" is not any different to the lives before the wedding?

Yeah, I guess there's a bit of that.

Like I said, my wife and I were "married" for all intents and purposes before we got married. So aside from the rings and titles there wasn't a lot that changed following the wedding / honeymoon.

I remember speaking to my nan about this subject...basically, her opinion was that there was no point us getting married. It sounds harsh, but honestly her reasoning for getting married seems to have been so she could move out of home and get her leg over. As I already had both of these benefits, she couldn't understand the point in us getting married. I explained to her that we wanted a big family occasion, the chance to have our union recognised in law and a celebration of our love for one another, but she really didn't see the point in any of that.

Personally, I've always thought that having a wedding for the sake of a wedding is the best reason to have one...but it also means that all of the planning, prep etc is for the wedding itself, not for the marriage....so if the day's not a success, it's just a massive waste of time and money.

Personally, I had a great time at our wedding...but it *was* a very successful day. Had the thing been a complete flop, I can see that I may well have been quite upset about it.

Gloomendoom

photome wrote: »

Can I ask why women on their wedding day often have their hair done different to they have ever had it before?

Mrs G didn't.

She suits the "dragged through a hedge backwards" look.

codemonkey

catkins wrote: »

You talk about wedding comedown and say you cried the day after but I just cannot understand that.


I hear women (never seems to be men) who say they felt down, depressed etc the day after their wedding but surely you should be on a high, excited that you are now married, excited to be starting your married life together?


Is it because so many couples live together before so the "marriage" is not any different to the lives before the wedding?


Me and OH did not live together before we got married and I know on the day after our wedding we were both so happy and excited that we were now living together and starting on what we hoped and expected to be a long and happy life together. We didn't even have a honeymoon as we could not afford one and started married life in a grotty bedsit but nothing could have affected our happiness

It wasn't that I wasn't happy to be married to my husband, because I was and still am. It was partly because there wasn't anything else to plan - you have this massive build up and then its over so fast, but mostly I suspect because we didn't get to bed til late the night of the wedding, then we were up again at 6 to fly off on honeymoon and by the time we got to the hotel I was exhausted and hungry and when I'm tired and hugry I get emotional and small things seem really massive.

Lily-Rose_3

supersaver2 wrote: »

Unfortunately some poster can be (in my opinion) very rude on this board in particular and its often the same names cropping up.

Its like there is a 'one-upmanship' to how you can feel and what can upset you. You can't be upset at your wedding as somebodies Dad dies at their weeding, then we'll get someone else saying 'we lost a coach load at our wedding!' Things upset some people that would't bother others, that's life, we are all different and react differently. I honestly don't feel saying 'you're spoilt' or 'get over yourself' is helpful at all though.

This! With bells on! ^^^ :T Couldn't have put it better myself!

I am sorry you had a bad wedding day OP, and I hope you feel better about it eventually. As some people have said; maybe you can have the pics retaken. But I do agree that most brides have something about their wedding day that bugged them.

Hope you feel better about it all soon.

mountainofdebt

Oh let me think what went wrong at mine...

1) original photographer did a runner and we only found out because he hadn't cashed our deposit cheque - luckily got a replacement
2) Father decided that he was leaving my mum 5 months before the wedding - wished he'd done it earlier if the truth was known
3) Forgot to arrange for a car to be at reception so OH went to his parents home to change whilst I went to my mum's.
4) Sister had a major falling out with aunt over some comment she made about my parents......resulting in half the guests not turning up to evening do.

Mind you that was 24 yrs ago !

Melaniep101

OP, I know exactly how you feel. We got married two years ago and I've never been able to look at the photos. I'd planned our Vegas wedding carefully, making sure everything was booked well in advance and the timings were all scheduled, but it was a bit of a let down on the day. The make up artist I'd booked online (after reading all the good reviews) put so much bad make up on me, I looked like a hooker, and the gentle waves in my hair were actually tight ringlets! As our electric blue hummer (another unwanted part of the wedding!) was pulling up to the lobby, I was frantically trying to straighten out the curls with one hand, and toning down the thick make up with a make up wipe!

When we got to the wedding chapel, I got told off by one of the staff for using a mirror! They then tried to sell us all manner of tat, such as albums, certificate holders and other rubbish!

I felt so uncomfortable throughout the ceremony, and it was a bit of a catastrophic wedding, but once it was over, we had a fab honeymoon.

We plan to renew our vows in a few years time, and hopefully things will go well this time!

theoretica

Do you know anyone good at photoshop?

beautiful_ravens

Thanks all for your helpful, and rude, replies - some funny, some sad, some useless. Im glad at least a few people know what Im talking about!

For the record we only had 2 grand to spend on our wedding so there were a lot of things we did ourselves, and a lot of work because of it, and Im not at all spoilt by the way, its one of the only times Ive spent money on basically useless things and I didnt want that to be a waste.

I am happy to be married to my great husband of course, and I wish I could have had my dream wedding [outside, at twilight, next to a bonfire - all impossible] so there were many compromises, and with that in mind I wanted the compromised edition to go well.

People keep showing me their pics and theres some really yukky ones of me caught in one of my rik mayall expressions that really make me cringe, I wish I could check everyone elses cameras!

I think as some have said, theres an element of 'what next' and a bit of a downer after all that planning and getting ready, and Ive also decided that going to someone elses wedding feels more wedding-y than being at your own..

I have spoken to my husband about this and he is fine with the idea of some other photos being done, he just wants me to feel happy, but perhaps some of you are right that it might be another waste, so Im not sure. I suppose I want some photos with a more professional effect to them rather than snapshots of me making silly faces!!

xx

jackieblack

catkins wrote: »

I hear women (never seems to be men) who say they felt down, depressed etc the day after their wedding but surely you should be on a high, excited that you are now married, excited to be starting your married life together?

I think it's because, for some brides, they're so focussed on the wedding day, rather than what follows, the marriage.
It's like the wedding day is the be-all-and-end-all, rather than just one gateway day that leads to the rest of their (married) lives.