I didnt like my wedding day - how to cope

Abbafan1972

Awww OP sorry to hear about the things you weren't happy with on your wedding day.

I am not going to tell you to "get over it" or anything like that. You say you got married only recently, I'm sure these feelings will pass in time, what I think matters is what you do after the wedding and the love you and your husband have for each other.

I think it's a good idea to have some more photos taken if it will make you feel better. Or if you know a professional who can edit your original ones. In a few years time you could renew your vows.

I don't think anyone's wedding will ever be "perfect", there will always be something that's not quite right (in the bride's opinion anyway), but they are probably things that none of the guest would ever have noticed. I really felt for the one mentioned earlier who's Father died walking her down the aisle, it really brought a tear to my eye. How would you ever get over something like that? At least nothing like that happened.

My Mom and Dad got married in the late 60's and from what I can gather, my Mom's friend completely took over the choosing of the wedding dress and my Nan never saw it before the big day (she mentioned it years later when we were chatting), my Mom bless her, fainted at the altar (I would be mortified if this had happened to me). I don't know if anything else went wrong.

We got married abroad, but had a party when we got back at a hotel, we had a DJ, but we were tied to using the resident one, he was ok and played a mixed bag of stuff, although I didn't think the music was loud enough (I guess the hotel were governed by this because it was in a residential area), but nobody mentioned it. After a big fall out with Hubby's brother, he wasn't invited, again no-one mentioned it. Our cake was lovely, but it was actually leaning to one side on the stand.

Hope you feel better soon.

POPPYOSCAR

My beautiful niece got married 2 years ago.

Her wedding was fantastic, she looked beautiful, everything went to plan and we all had a wonderful day.

This morning she died from cancer,aged just 32, I still cannot believe it.

Please count your blessings, hopefully you have a wonderful future head of you and in the big scheme of things, it really does not matter.

rachiibell

I think it's only natural to feel disappointed that things didn't go as well as you'd hoped for. Yes your now married to your OH which is great but it's okay to be a bit disappointed.

I think you should book a photo shoot with a professional photographer, put your wedding gear on (but how you want it this time!) and get some nice photos taken with your OH. I don't think it's weird at all - infact I am planning to do this when I get married rather than having a professional photographer on the day because I hate all the posed formal family photos that always take way to long.

Then why don't you and OH go out for a nice dinner somewhere, go for drinks, maybe go to one of those nice cocktail bars with live music and have a bit of a dance or go home and put your first dance song on.

Enjoy your day together and more importantly enjoy the rest of your life together

Morglin

I first got married in the early 70's - had the full experience (other than I didn't want to get wed in a church as it was meaningless to me), but did the whole 'perfect day' thing lol:eek:

Regretted it soon after, stuck with it for 30 years, and then met the love of my life.

With him, it was a quick, (no Bridezilla perfection day), wedding to him, no stress, only those we loved at the meal, and been happy just to be his wife......:beer:

The day really doesn't matter, and I cannot believe people throwing thousands of pounds at it..........:eek:

Lin

Caroline_a

On the best day of my life I was about 2 stone heavier than normal. I wore no makeup and my hair was a total mess - I certainly hadn't had my nails done. There were no photographs and some of the people there I'd never met.

It was the day I had my first child. (and the second and the third )

Primrose

Believe me, as you go through married life you will probably have to endure lots of genuine real disasters like illness, bereavement, redundancy etc that will give you REAL causes for concern. Looking fat in a photo or having messy hair will seem such niggly issues that you will probably look back and wonder why you got so upset about things.
Now the wedding is behind you, if you think you're overweight, do something about it but try and get things in perspective and don,t fret over what is past, as it can't be changed.

tillyenna

I used to dream about having my 'perfect' wedding - the grooms opinion couldn't have matter less to me, I had the dress planned, the flowers planned, the shoes chosen, the music and dance chosen, the venue... everything.


And then I met my other half... now, I couldn't care less, it's one day, and after it, we'll be married... I keep joking that 14th September 2014 is going to be the best day of my life... we get married on the 13th.


Ask yourself the following: Did you have a good day? The photos don't matter, I've seen some really horrific looking brides, and someone still loved them enough to marry them ;-) You're married to your husband now, that's something to be thankful for. You want to have a special day? Plan a celebration for something else... it can be just as fun.

catkins

codemonkey wrote: »

OP - I had some disasters on my wedding day too which I didnt really notice at the time but looking back afterwards in the wedding comedown (I cried the day after).

You talk about wedding comedown and say you cried the day after but I just cannot understand that.


I hear women (never seems to be men) who say they felt down, depressed etc the day after their wedding but surely you should be on a high, excited that you are now married, excited to be starting your married life together?


Is it because so many couples live together before so the "marriage" is not any different to the lives before the wedding?


Me and OH did not live together before we got married and I know on the day after our wedding we were both so happy and excited that we were now living together and starting on what we hoped and expected to be a long and happy life together. We didn't even have a honeymoon as we could not afford one and started married life in a grotty bedsit but nothing could have affected our happiness

Snakey

catkins wrote: »

Is it because so many couples live together before so the "marriage" is not any different to the lives before the wedding?

Can't speak for anyone else, but we didn't get married because we wanted our lives to be different, we got married because we were so happy to be together and intended it to last for ever.

Then again, I didn't have any sort of a wedding come-down. I was excited to be married, and to have my new name, and my wedding ring (we didn't get engaged so this was my first piece of "together" jewellery), and to go away for a couple of nights for our honeymoon as "Mr and Mrs".

It's strange to look back and remember how thrilled I was by all these things that now seem a bit "so what?", and if I did it again tomorrow I'd be a lot more mellow, but I don't think you can ever dismiss somebody's first wedding day as nothing special.

Person_one

alias*alibi wrote: »

It was such a rush and stress that I forgot to do my nails

Can I just say for the record, I've been to many many weddings, and I've never thought to look at the bride's fingernails.