I didnt like my wedding day - how to cope

Transformers

codemonkey wrote: »

Also, there seems to be a thing on this site where if a bride cares about her wedding day and does anything other than get married in registry office with only witnesses then its proclaimed that she must be a bridezilla and only cares about the wedding and not the marriage which is pretty insulting actually. We had a big wedding, we paid for it ourselves, we didn't go into any debt, we had a professional photographer, a cake, wedding cars, the whole thing, all of which i worked hard to get the best deals, and I was serious about the marriage. When I said my vows, I meant them. So please stop with the inverse snobbery. It might not be what you did but that doesn't mean its wrong.

It's not about 'inverse snobbery'.

I don't care how much someone spends on their wedding as that's their choice. I don't care if they have a pony done up as a unicorn or doves flying out of baskets as it's their tastes.

What I can't abide is the total fixation on the day and themselves to the point where everyone and everything else is excluded.

Let's get some perspective here. A wedding day is a day to get married. Everything else is window dressing.

To be so fixated on a few hours on your life, then find that there were a couple of glitches, is just unhealthy.

Asking for advice on how to cope with the fact that your hair and nails weren't perfect and that the photos (not even professional) were unflattering is just getting life so out of perspective that it needs to be pointed out as such.

Idiophreak

pearl123 wrote: »

It's one day out of your life. Far too much emphasis is place on it.

...but it's probably the one day of your life where you
a) spend months (or years!) planning for the thing
b) spend a fortune
c) have no second chances

Of course people are going to put emphasis on it. And of course they'll feel disappointed if all their investment of time and money doesn't yield the results they were after.

It would be like paying £5k to drive a Ferrari for the weekend and then noticing a bunch of little things wrong with the car. You can say "well, you still got to go fast"...But you could be forgiven for being disappointed the car wasn't all you'd hoped for...

savingmummy

Aw sorry to hear it didn't go as well as planned BUT I`m sure your husband thought you looked amazing!!


Sounds like a good idea having a `wedding` photoshoot.

codemonkey

Transformers wrote: »

It's not about 'inverse snobbery'.

I don't care how much someone spends on their wedding as that's their choice. I don't care if they have a pony done up as a unicorn or doves flying out of baskets as it's their tastes.

What I can't abide is the total fixation on the day and themselves to the point where everyone and everything else is excluded.

Let's get some perspective here. A wedding day is a day to get married. Everything else is window dressing.

To be so fixated on a few hours on your life, then find that there were a couple of glitches, is just unhealthy.

Asking for advice on how to cope with the fact that your hair and nails weren't perfect and that the photos (not even professional) were unflattering is just getting life so out of perspective that it needs to be pointed out as such.

The OP is asking for help with the way she feels. It may not be something you'd get upset over, but that doesn't mean its less real to her. Ok its not like anyone is dead and she'll feel better about it with time but there's no need to be quite so rude about it.

OP - this probably would have been better in the wedding thread.

whodathunkit

codemonkey wrote: »

The OP is asking for help with the way she feels. It may not be something you'd get upset over, but that doesn't mean its less real to her. Ok its not like anyone is dead and she'll feel better about it with time but there's no need to be quite so rude about it.

OP - this probably would have been better in the wedding thread.

I don't really think that's going to help her get a sense of perspective, do you?

Transformers

codemonkey wrote: »

The OP is asking for help with the way she feels. It may not be something you'd get upset over, but that doesn't mean its less real to her. Ok its not like anyone is dead and she'll feel better about it with time but there's no need to be quite so rude about it.

OP - this probably would have been better in the wedding thread.

I haven't been rude - just forthright.

Sometimes the "there, there, isn't it really awful" response is the best one. However, in this case, I think perspective is more appropriate.

Just my thoughts but the OP did post on an open forum so should be prepared for the great British public to respond. In this instance, the majority don't think it's the end of the world as we know it.

cats2012

NoAngel wrote: »

I bet every bride has things they wish had gone differently- for me it is different (more) bridesmaids, different hair... and about 20 other things! To be honest, none of that has mattered and we've been married for almost 2 years now.

I'd recommend putting your dress back on, getting your hair, nails and make up done and going off for professional photos at a stunning location. This may make up for some of it.

You can't go back and change the day, but you can get your photos done before it's too late to bother.

I could have written the first part of this! and it only gets worse when you go to other peoples' and think about other ideas you wish you'd had! but it was still an incredible and and as other say it's far more about the marriage than the day, that's why we refused to spend stupid amounts of money on it

alias*alibi

I got married in the USA; my mum being the person she was hadn't thought to book me a hair appointment and said she would 'titivate' it herself. Ummm don't think so, so on my the morning of my wedding I was phoning hairdressers in Tennessee desperately trying to get an appointment talking in an accent most people couldn't understand! It was such a rush and stress that I forgot to do my nails and my hair certainly wasn't what I wanted really but waaaay better than what would had been my mums intervention. 5 years on it doesn't bother me at all; I have a photo on display which is the nicest but due to other factors that have happened since my wedding day my hair and nails then were teeny weeny problems!

pollypenny

I feel a bit sorry for anyone who considers their wedding day as the best/biggest day of their life.

And I should say 'her life', I doubt there's many men who take that view.

I'm an old married woman, had a lovely wedding day, our church, reception in the church hall and pub afterwards, as was the style then.

OP, just enjoy married life! Look forward to other lovely days.

oldtractor

Its real life not a movie. its over and done with. the photos dont matter, if you really are so upset then i think you need to visit your GP as you sound over anxious.
what matters is you have married the right bloke. the wedding is nothing.