I didnt like my wedding day - how to cope

duchy

The trouble with weddings is the pressure for everything to be perfect is huge and a lot of brides spend the months in the run up to the wedding consumed with organizing it. It is hardly surprising that after the wedding you can be left with a huge void and overthink a bit. You won't be the last bride who wished she'd had a hair trial or stuck to a pre wedding diet or looked a bit shiny or had photos they weren't happy with .......but then you also won't be bride who like the previous poster mentioned had someone close die at the wedding or whose intended died before the wedding or whose dress ripped or whose groom didn't turn up or whose registrar or caterer was double booked and on.

You can focus on the good things about the wedding or you can focus on the bad. Either way you can't change the day now .

Bennifred

Is this what they call a first world problem?

jaylee3

supersaver2 wrote: »

Nope but calling them spoilt and telling them 'to get over themselves' isn't very nice.

Congratulations on your marriage and sorry it didn't go to plan. Weddings can be very expensive so you do want things to go as well as possible.

My brother was married at the start of May last year and everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. They were both very dejected at the time, but as time moves on it stops being a big deal and you will stop worrying about it.

Good luck to you and your husband and if you are a natural born worrier try rescue remedy, my wife could worry for Britain and these do really help.

EXACTLY. It's funny how people are so cruel and cutting on here, and then say 'disagreeing with someone is not being spiteful!' No, but some of the things some people have said on here about the OP are! 'get over yourself' 'first world problems' you're spoilt, yada yada.' Bet she wishes she hadn't bothered posting now!

hazyjo

PS We didn't have a professional photographer (apart from my ex's dad who was a retired photographer, although he mainly photographed cars!) - your friends will have taken photos, most far more natural than your photographer will have done. Personally I don't like posed pictures. I'd much rather have a blown up/framed one that a friend took where we're laughing, having fun, dancing or whatever. Bit naff to have one of you standing side by side in front of some predictable background like you're out of the 1900s. Maybe get one blown up onto canvass or something.

Oh, and it really isn't about the day - all I look back on and want to actually hug the memory of - is that my dear darling dad was still there and I remember him dancing despite having battled cancer for a few years at that stage - and I held his hand as we went under the arch everyone made for us with their hands. (My ex's dad also died within the year.)

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Jx

jaylee3

hazyjo wrote: »

PS We didn't have a professional photographer (apart from my ex's dad who was a retired photographer, although he mainly photographed cars!) - your friends will have taken photos, most far more natural than your photographer will have done. Personally I don't like posed pictures. I'd much rather have a blown up/framed one that a friend took where we're laughing, having fun, dancing or whatever. Bit naff to have one of you standing side by side in front of some predictable background like you're out of the 1900s. Maybe get one blown up onto canvass or something.

Oh, and it really isn't about the day - all I look back on and want to actually hug the memory of - is that my dear darling dad was still there and I remember him dancing despite having battled cancer for a few years at that stage - and I held his hand as we went under the arch everyone made for us with their hands. (My ex's dad also died within the year.)

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Jx

Lovely post Jo! :T See it is possible to give constructive advice without getting personal! And as I said, in a few years, the OP will probably be laughing about her 'disastrous' wedding day.

purpleshoes_2

jaylee3 wrote: »

EXACTLY. It's funny how people are so cruel and cutting on here, and then say 'disagreeing with someone is not being spiteful!' No, but some of the things some people have said on here about the OP are! 'get over yourself' 'first world problems' you're spoilt, yada yada.' Bet she wishes she hadn't bothered posting now!

I didnt say anything spiteful, the problem is when people post and say stop being mean to the OP, without identfying anyone, it just comes over as a general lecture to everyone who hasnt posted saying there there. Not really sure what the positives in doing that are either tbh.

Putting any thread on here carries the risk that people will not agree with you and you might hear things you would prefer not to.

Transformers

jaylee3 wrote: »

This may sound trivial to SOME, but obviously it's a big deal to HER! Give her a break. For some girls/women, her wedding day is one of the most important days of her life, (even if YOU don't give a rat's a$$ about it, or weddings or marriage mean nothing to you,) and when it goes wrong and it wasn't what she expected, it is upsetting.

Actually, I think the 'get over it' responses are from people that do believe in marriage. As in, a couple making a statement in front of family etc that they want to commit to each other.

So, knowing that's what's important, hearing someone moaning about nails and hair etc just seems petty in the grand scheme of marriage (as a lifelong partnership).

supersaver2

jaylee3 wrote: »

EXACTLY. It's funny how people are so cruel and cutting on here, and then say 'disagreeing with someone is not being spiteful!' No, but some of the things some people have said on here about the OP are! 'get over yourself' 'first world problems' you're spoilt, yada yada.' Bet she wishes she hadn't bothered posting now!

Unfortunately some poster can be (in my opinion) very rude on this board in particular and its often the same names cropping up.

Its like there is a 'one-upmanship' to how you can feel and what can upset you. You can't be upset at your wedding as somebodies Dad dies at their weeding, then we'll get someone else saying 'we lost a coach load at our wedding!' Things upset some people that would't bother others, that's life, we are all different and react differently. I honestly don't feel saying 'you're spoilt' or 'get over yourself' is helpful at all though.

Just_Plain_Jane

Your music couldn't have been as bad as ours.

We hired a small function room above a pub for an afternoon reception so a DJ wasn't really appropriate. My husband was responsible for bringing the CDs we made to play on the stereo at the venue.

He forgot. We ended up listening to the radio. No-one batted an eyelid, we still had the most amazing day.

daisiegg

hazyjo wrote: »

I forgot my flowers (not actual flowers, more of a crystal/metal bouquet) (for me and bridesmaids).

Jx

I was just skim reading really quickly and I read that as a 'crystal meth bouquet'! :eek:

OP, sorry your day did not go according to plan - I agree that it is upsetting. You will get past it though and one way to do that is to focus on your lovely husband, your marriage and the life you are building together.