I didnt like my wedding day - how to cope

jaylee3

Grumpypoo wrote: »

OP - I have read the thread almost in full and feel I need to respond because I can really empathize.
I had a lot of things go wrong for me too and understand how you feel.

I presume you didn't arrive at an alter to be met by him saying ' goodness, look at those nails, and I never noticed how chubby and ...shiny...you are!'? – but that pretty much sums it up.
@ catkins – I had, and many others had bought into the whole ‘best day of your life’ thing and that does account for a lot of the feelings of anti-climax and disappointment.

Someone said this to you?! :eek:

Grumpypoo

purpleshoes wrote: »

Not everyone spends years being programmed into their wedding day being one perfect day.

Ive also been to several weddings where if there had been any hitches, Id never have noticed in a million years.

@ purple shoes - I completely agree. Not everyone succumbs to the programming, but millions DO feel that pressure.

For example: liking the colour pink - historically that has actually been a colour for baby BOYs in fact however this modern western society has decided girls should be in pink. next time you go to mothercare have a look in the girls section. a SEA of pink. then if you ask why a little girl likes pink, perhaps some naturally like it but the majority have had it forced down their throats, even subconsciously. The same with weddings.

It is disingenuous to suggest that the pressure from the wedding industry, and media and society images of 'the perfect fairytale wedding' have no effect on thousands of women every year. Well done if you can shrug off society's influence in this area, but guaranteed there is probably some other area where you tow the line.


Incidentally one of the best weddings I have ever been to was very 'disorganised' and simple, but the bride was beaming and that made the difference.

beachRasta

It sucks your wedding didn't go as plan but the good news is you can always do a renewal of vows down the line and then you can have your fantasy wedding again and still keep your husband who sounds wonderful. Best of luck.

Pthree

OP, I am currently trying to learn photo editing and have some fairly decent software. I am not an expert by a long shot but if you want to pick out some of your fav photos of the day (that you can stand to look at) PM me I am willing to have a bash at them.

If I am honest I need the practice, as I dont get to take many "people" pics, so I am not promising miracles but maybe you will get at least one you can stick on top of the telly?

P3

ska_lover

maharani_m wrote: »

I wonder how the OP would cope if she had an actual problem to deal with ....

What - like your major dilema, of not having the space for a full size dishwasher in your new build house??? Pot Kettle, my dear.

jaylee3

ska_lover wrote: »

What - like your major dilema, of not having the space for a full size dishwasher in your new build house??? Pot Kettle, my dear.

LOL, :rotfl:

oops! #awkward

jaylee3

Pthree wrote: »

OP, I am currently trying to learn photo editing and have some fairly decent software. I am not an expert by a long shot but if you want to pick out some of your fav photos of the day (that you can stand to look at) PM me I am willing to have a bash at them.

If I am honest I need the practice, as I dont get to take many "people" pics, so I am not promising miracles but maybe you will get at least one you can stick on top of the telly?

P3

Wow, that's really nice of you. What a star! :A

whodathunkit

BugglyB wrote: »

Some of the responses on here are horrible. Seriously, if you have nothing nice to say, why bother? You can't really justify it by saying that you think you're helping by saying 'get a grip'?

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy on your wedding day. Shaking my head.

OP I really think instead of looking back you should look forwards.

Can you think of a date in the future you can have a celebration and work towards it being better? 5th anniversary, maybe a milestone birthday?

Lose some weight, choose some better clothes and hairstyle, do something different, have some photos taken. Have the day you wish your wedding day had been.

Or just accept that "perfect days" don't exist and woud be very boring if they did!

I've been married twice and the clearest memories are of the funny things my nearest and dearest said ("This is purgatory for me", comment made by my dad to my BF/witness at breakfast on the wedding morning:rotfl:) and generally quirky things that happened.

Perfect is dull.

jaylee3

whodathunkit wrote: »

Or just accept that "perfect days" don't exist and woud be very boring if they did!

I've been married twice and the clearest memories are of the funny things my nearest and dearest said ("This is purgatory for me", comment made by my dad to my BF/witness at breakfast on the wedding morning:rotfl:) and generally quirky things that happened.

Perfect is dull.

Maybe so. But the thing is, the OP is stuck with pics now that she hates, and has to keep looking at. You don't have to keep looking at a comment or a minor happening on the day.

ska_lover

Either way, no one cares what you have got to say - unless it is constructive. Negativity only says more about you, than it does about the OP

So be nice, you might actually enjoy these boards