I didnt like my wedding day - how to cope

Peter333

Gloomendoom wrote: »

:huh: Why do you regard giving other people a good time at your expense a waste?

It is if you spend £20,000 on one day.

In my opinion anyway. And I am not 'bitter' or 'insecure' or 'sad' and I do not need to make peace with myself or my life. I just think it's positively ludicrous to spend abominable amounts of money on a wedding, and I think that the people doing this are the ones that are insecure and not at peace with themselves, because they obviously feel the need to 'prove' something.

jaylee3

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

Nope, that's not what I said.

Errrr, yes it was actually.

And 'most of YOUR posts' shout out confrontation and nit picking and saying stuff to cause a reaction.

74jax

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

Nope, that's not what I said.

I didn't think so either....

geerex

Idiophreak wrote: »

I wonder if there's ever a thread on the subject of weddings without a "must be mad" post from some bright spark.

Personally, I spent plenty plenty pouring food and drink down people at our wedding.

They had a whole bunch of delicious canapes, made to order stir fries, teriyaki sirloin steak on sticks, marinated monkfish...there was cake, bacon sarnies, mixed deserts, little ice cream cones....in short, 9 hours of more or less constant food. There was white champagne, pink champagne, white wine, red wine, mojitos, non-alcoholic options. In the end, the pay-for bar took something like £100 in the whole night from our 140 guests...and that was mainly people insisting on buying us a drink.

Did we do it to be flash and cool? Not so much. We just wanted our guests to have some good food, plenty to drink, have a really good time and not be any more out of pocket for it than was absolutely necessary. Feedback was generally quite positive, so we were pleased to have spent the money.

Oh...we also had an amazing honeymoon and are just moving in to a nice big "family house", so our "future" is doing just fine, thanks.

You really shouldn't leap to the assumption that just because *you* need money for other things, everyone else is in the same boat.

If your feedback was only "quite" positive, I'd suggest that next time, you splash out on some mojitos.

burnoutbabe

to be fair, most wedding posts have people say "people say it was the best wedding they had been to" and thats not likely to be true (unless you went to William and Kate's wedding). Everyone is just very nice and polite and realizes what an effort people put in to put on a wedding so they say the right things. As long as they had seats and food and were not cold, all is mostly good!

Morglin

Idiophreak wrote: »

I wonder if there's ever a thread on the subject of weddings without a "must be mad" post from some bright spark.

Personally, I spent plenty plenty pouring food and drink down people at our wedding.

They had a whole bunch of delicious canapes, made to order stir fries, teriyaki sirloin steak on sticks, marinated monkfish...there was cake, bacon sarnies, mixed deserts, little ice cream cones....in short, 9 hours of more or less constant food. There was white champagne, pink champagne, white wine, red wine, mojitos, non-alcoholic options. In the end, the pay-for bar took something like £100 in the whole night from our 140 guests...and that was mainly people insisting on buying us a drink.

Did we do it to be flash and cool? Not so much. We just wanted our guests to have some good food, plenty to drink, have a really good time and not be any more out of pocket for it than was absolutely necessary. Feedback was generally quite positive, so we were pleased to have spent the money.

Oh...we also had an amazing honeymoon and are just moving in to a nice big "family house", so our "future" is doing just fine, thanks.

You really shouldn't leap to the assumption that just because *you* need money for other things, everyone else is in the same boat.

I don't need money for other things lol - long past the age of wanting a flashy wedding. :beer:

I am probably just of a more cautious age - and I do honestly find it astonishing to spend many thousands on one day, when the end result is the same as someone spending £500 - a marriage certificate between 2 people who love each other.

But, horses for courses, but I do sit gobsmacked at my hairdresser, whose parents are splashing out for a country house wedding for her, complete with acrobats, and a fantasy theme, with the approx cost being £40k.......:eek:

Glad you had a nice wedding day, and hope that your future remains sunny.

Lin

Tygermoth

I do, kind of, get the inverse snobbery aspect. Sort of... dont agree with it but understand it..

Mainly as all the huge white weddings - no expense spared - 'perfect day' weddings have more often than not failed. (this is a sweeping statement i realise but within my very large extended family and social circle it relates)

Where as the smaller, budget ones have stuck true.

I feel, in my very humble unmarried opinion this may reflect on the couple dynamics. My experience is a huge affair seems to be expensive statement stage managed by the bride to its nth degree. A small one is a couple working together to plan an event... together.

But as i say, its only my view from the outside. As i said on the 'why get married' thread. Everyone is different and as such their wedding (or lack of one) is their own choice. This being said i really do not understand the stress being placed on everything being perfect for the one day. its just not possible to many variables and the larger the wedding the more variables.

whodathunkit

lostinrates wrote: »

While the COST of weddings is a common cause of dispute OP has asserted hers was not an extravagant one in terms of financial outlay if not emotional investment. Is this thread thus not one that renders this subject moot ( for once?)

I take your point but actually her attitude to the wedding is very much the same as those who spend large sums of money and that seems to be the problem.

The concept of " a perfect day"/"the best day of your life"/etc attached to a wedding whether cheap or expensive rings alarm bells for me and does seem to emphasis the difference between those who think the wedding is more important than the marriage.

I think that you do see this sort of attitude alongside those who have big, expensive weddings rather more than with those who go for the simple option but the OP's attitude shows that it doesn't need to be money related.

Hezzawithkids

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Do me a favour. I treated that obnoxious, condescending, and arrogant post with the contempt it deserved. Bragging about how much money they've got, and how just because other people are poor, that isn't THEIR problem. Charming.

And on a website that has 1000s of people struggling to pay their bills. Nice. And like I said, how lovely that she and her husband clearly have more money than sense. And save the 'inverted snobbery' and 'you sound jealous' comments. I literally cannot be arsed.

The fact that you defend her, says more about you than me.

Hey there and welcome to my ignore list! I have no time for anyone so bigoted and arrogant. Sayanora!

POPPYOSCAR

Please, please stop arguing with each other.

Life is too short and even shorter for some of us.