I didnt like my wedding day - how to cope

lostinrates

While the COST of weddings is a common cause of dispute OP has asserted hers was not an extravagant one in terms of financial outlay if not emotional investment. Is this thread thus not one that renders this subject moot ( for once?)

SussexGal

I've been married 3 times in total and I don't think I've ever had any of my weddings go as planned...
highlights of mine have been..
Wedding Number 1 - money was understandably tight so I bought a second hand dress. In the months leading up to the wedding I lost alot of weight and as a result the shoulders of the dress slipped all the time. My Mum assured me it would be fine on the day..it wasn't and I spent the whole day putting my wedding dress strap back onto my right shoulder!. Other highlights include my Gran who kindly made and iced the cake..and kept icing it and icing it. I tried to cut the cake with a knife but it wouldn't go thru the icing. In the end the reception venue had to cut the cake with their own electric carving knife!!.

Wedding Number 2 - Learning from the mistakes of the first dress. This time I bought the dress new and went to a seamstress I was adamant this time the dress straps wouldn't be slipping, I also made sure the train had a hoop on it so I could carry it around if need me. I went abroad to get married and did my own make up, At the last minute I touched up the foundation not realising I had some on my hand and moments before the wedding touched my dress and got foundation on it! Thankfully I managed somehow to remove it and it didn't mark. Horrah! only thing was yet again I had a dress malfunction this time the dress had a fitted corset style part and the edges of the corset kept turning up so I have many photos where without my knowledge the dress edging is turning up!. Thankfully only a simple sponge cake so no cake dramas.


Wedding Number 3 - Ok so by this time I was done with Wedding dresses! Right I thought I'm buying an off the peg shift dress (3rd Wedding after all). The colour was right, the style right. No corset, no thin straps nothing could go wrong here right?...Wrong!! The zip on the back of the dress had a mind of it own and kept undoing only a few inches but noticable enough for people to keep saying here let me do you up at the back..urghhh. And Another cake drama 2 fruit cakes and one sponge cake and the venue were asked to cut up one fruit and the sponge and serve, instead they left the sponge and served everyone up fruit cake instead.

I darent get married again!!

The point I am trying to make here is that I am by nature a planner and planned all 3 weddings to the finest detail and still I have never had a day where everything has gone to plan. I am now happily married with husband number 3 but I would say that marrying your perfect man is far greater than having your perfect day and hopfully I'm proof of that too :-)

TopQuark

I don't think how much you do or don't spend on the wedding has any bearing on how well it goes and how you feel about it afterward.

On the subject of cost, I think it's silly to get into debt, but if you can otherwise afford it and are willing to pay, then why not? Personally I think so much wedding stuff is vastly overpriced and we weren't willing to be ripped off, so we found other ways around it. Some things we were prepared to pay for were the wines (8 of them - I did marry a Frenchman!), the transport (helicopter) and the honeymoon (15k, but it is the trip of the lifetime). Other things were made ourselves or bought from China (I refused to spend 1000s on a dress I'd wear once). We are very lucky to have highly-paid, tax-free salaries in Switzerland and could afford things, but as I've posted on the weddings board, just because you can afford something doesn't mean you're willing to pay through the nose for it! Not including the honeymoon ours came in at <10k, which we were pleased with.

How are you feeling now OP?

sulphate

Why am I not surprised that this thread has gone down this route.

We spent around £16k on our wedding including the honeymoon. Yes, we had help, both sets of parents contributed a little, because they WANTED to, not because we expected to have a wedding provided by them. If they hadn't contributed we would have had a much smaller wedding.

I'm sure people thought "why spend so much when they can't buy a house" but we bought a house three months later. Besides, it's no one else's business what we spend our money on. We didn't get into any debt because of it. Yes, I've noticed people bragging on how much they spent on their wedding but I've also noticed a kind of inverse snobbery where people disapprove and "look down" on people who choose to spend their money on such things.

People have different priorities and theres nothing wrong with that. Someone might choose to spend £16k on a car or on holidays. Those things aren't important to us, but that doesn't mean I tell a colleague of mine who just bought a brand new Audi on finance is wasting his money. That's up to him.

I don't see why people can't talk about how much they spent on their wedding here because there are some people struggling. You could say that about a lot of threads on here. There is a pram thread where ladies are talking about buying a pram that costs around £600, people don't get defensive on there and tell them to stop talking about it because there are others who have a much smaller budget.

I've been to weddings that cost around £1k and had an amazing time. Saying that your wedding was better than someone else's because it cost more, or less, is ridiculous and immature. What is this, a competition?

Brighton_belle

sulphate wrote: »

I've been to weddings that cost around £1k and had an amazing time. Saying that your wedding was better than someone else's because it cost more, or less, is ridiculous and immature. What is this, a competition?

On this board it tend to be the other way round those - the belief that a cheaper smaller wedding is automatically more meaningful and that the couple that have a larger do/spend more are more interested in the wedding that in the marriage etc etc.

sulphate

Yes, I have noticed that but I don't see how people can make that link. Too many assumptions being made there. To me it just means that the couple spending less has less money, different priorities, or there money is tied up in other things.

I'm very interested in my marriage

Gloomendoom

Lily-Rose wrote: »

I couldn't give a rat's a$$ about someone spending a fortune on a wedding. But the fact that they chose to share it on here, with the snide way they talked about people who DON'T choose to waste a fortune; that was sanctimonious and arrogant.

:huh: Why do you regard giving other people a good time at your expense a waste?

ska_lover

Yes thats all it is , just different priorities. Some people can get a bit defensive over this kind of topic, but no need really - as either way (cheap or expensive) is equally as cool

System

My first wedding... big white church wedding. Loads of planning, loads of stress but things went perfectly. Things were so perfect I forgot to enjoy it and had to hit the sherry before I left the house. The best bit was the party we had a few weeks afterwards with a load of family and friends using the booze we had got left over from the reception.... Everyone got hammered including me.:D

Second wedding. Married on a shoestring. Wedding was so laid back we were in the bath together in the morning of the wedding day. Bad luck to see the bride before the wedding? Well I believed that first time round and I still got divorced! Even that wedding didn't go quite to plan when a load of his workmates 'gate crashed' the wedding which was only meant for close family and no friends.

Third time lucky eh?:rotfl:

jaylee3

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

Have you ever heard that the things we criticize are the things we dislike most about ourselves? Our deepest insecurities and fears.

Most of your posts shout what you feel is wrong with your life as if you had a megaphone. We're all picking it up loud and clear.

Fix your life or make your peace with its inadequacies before your bitterness ruins what time you've got left.

What a load of absolute, utter crap. :rotfl:

So anyone who disagrees with something, and thinks it's ridiculous or a waste of money; it's because they are insecure and bitter??? FGS Grow up!