Not posted for a while...

Confusedandneedhelp

Ozzuk wrote: »

Read through his other thread. This has all been discussed. I don't think we're being negative, but yes maybe we are chastising because the OP knows what he needs, has had masses of hopefully good advice and now needs to implement it, not just repeat. We could scroll on, but even though this is just 'teh interweb' people actually do care, but breaking a cycle is better than just continuously talking through it.

Of course he can ask for help again, but I think he already knows the answer.

Good luck OP, chin up and things will get better but you have to take control of your life.

Think ur right. My life, my rules, my decisions

victory

ska_lover wrote: »

Don't keep apologising!


If people are fed up of seeing your concerns, they can always scroll on, rather than respond in such a negative fashion. The only thing the negative comments are doing, is making you feel worse and making other posters feel superior that they can pass judgement that you are handing things in, what is in their opinion, the incorrect fashion. Some people enjoy kicking a man while he is down

There is no right or wrong way to deal with turmoil - which is what you are clearly in.

It's not as simple as people fed up, scrolling on or replying in a negative fashion, confusedandneedhelp will readily admit himself, he has posted a lot about the same thing and a lot of great advise has been given, cnnh always agreed with ideas, plans, suggestions, help, then comes back on ( with people helping, supporting and praying he takes heed, that it works out for him) only for him to come back on and ignored every sensible advise and gone and made it worse by still hounding his gf when she begged him to stop, still texting, still ringing, still visiting when she asked him for space.

No one is being negative rather more disappointed for cnnh that he is still struggling, no one feels superior ( what is the point of that? Does that help the poster? No judgement, just please listen, hear, understand and take heed, cnnh on your last thread there were a lot of people asking you to take a deep breath, to calm down, as you were getting very hystetical and frantic with your replies remember? And you did, you could see what people were saying, you said you understood, would leave gf alone and you seemed much better, that's what everyone wants for you, to know you are not in such turmoil and that time, patience, understanding, is working out for you

victory

Ozzuk wrote: »

Read through his other thread. This has all been discussed. I don't think we're being negative, but yes maybe we are chastising because the OP knows what he needs, has had masses of hopefully good advice and now needs to implement it, not just repeat. We could scroll on, but even though this is just 'teh interweb' people actually do care, but breaking a cycle is better than just continuously talking through it.

Of course he can ask for help again, but I think he already knows the answer.

Good luck OP, chin up and things will get better but you have to take control of your life.

Exactly .................

victory

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

I guess that's what this 6 months is for, to work out what would be best for me, and for her to do the same.

I'm leaving her be anyway, but that's my point if she's got someone fair enough, but she insists they're just friends and she's said to me not to long ago (3 weeks I think) about wanting to be a family. It's all very confusing.

Your gf went off with another man whilst you were out together one night if I recall correctly?

Confusedandneedhelp

victory wrote: »

Your gf went off with another man whilst you were out together one night if I recall correctly?

She went off with a number of friends, but yes he was there and yes I was annoyed. We were split up tho, so technically ex.

Confusedandneedhelp

victory wrote: »

It's not as simple as people fed up, scrolling on or replying in a negative fashion, confusedandneedhelp will readily admit himself, he has posted a lot about the same thing and a lot of great advise has been given, cnnh always agreed with ideas, plans, suggestions, help, then comes back on ( with people helping, supporting and praying he takes heed, that it works out for him) only for him to come back on and ignored every sensible advise and gone and made it worse by still hounding his gf when she begged him to stop, still texting, still ringing, still visiting when she asked him for space.

No one is being negative rather more disappointed for cnnh that he is still struggling, no one feels superior ( what is the point of that? Does that help the poster? No judgement, just please listen, hear, understand and take heed, cnnh on your last thread there were a lot of people asking you to take a deep breath, to calm down, as you were getting very hystetical and frantic with your replies remember? And you did, you could see what people were saying, you said you understood, would leave gf alone and you seemed much better, that's what everyone wants for you, to know you are not in such turmoil and that time, patience, understanding, is working out for you

You're right. I should've listened. It's hard, but I agree I was given great advice.

I'm thinking of writing a book. About how parents split up and don't see the opposite perspective. Ie mothers guide to what fathers lose and vice versa.

It's hard not seeing my boys, it's hard being alone.

Thanks though, I know people think positively

ska_lover

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

I'm thinking of writing a book. About how parents split up and don't see the opposite perspective. Ie mothers guide to what fathers lose and vice versa.

I think you might have hit on something there, maybe not a book, but start a diary - It has helped me massively in times of anguish and is a great outlet as you can be as honest as you like - and never have to show it to anyone if you dont want

Confusedandneedhelp

ska_lover wrote: »

I think you might have hit on something there, maybe not a book, but start a diary - It has helped me massively in times of anguish and is a great outlet as you can be as honest as you like - and never have to show it to anyone if you dont want

Ye I might just do that. Get everything written down so it's not all just in my head

ska_lover

its really theraputic and not only that, later on, you can look back and see how far you have, hopefully, come

Confusedandneedhelp

ska_lover wrote: »

its really theraputic and not only that, later on, you can look back and see how far you have, hopefully, come

Thanks, think ur right.

Got the kids tonight, so looking forward to spending the evening playing FIFA and eating junk good