Not posted for a while...

unicorn1984

You're probably right, he has said he isn't sure he is ready for all this. His Mum thinks it's a case of you don't know what you've got til it's gone, and when I move out and he is alone it will hit him. I can't be someone's relationship tutor (he has never had a relationship before, he has never seen why people go from one partner to another, breaking up etc) so he needs to realise what he wants with no help from me or anyone else.

I'm glad there are men like you, that enjoy that time. My son's Dad seems to find excuses to spend less time with him than more!

Confusedandneedhelp

unicorn1984 wrote: »

You're probably right, he has said he isn't sure he is ready for all this. His Mum thinks it's a case of you don't know what you've got til it's gone, and when I move out and he is alone it will hit him. I can't be someone's relationship tutor (he has never had a relationship before, he has never seen why people go from one partner to another, breaking up etc) so he needs to realise what he wants with no help from me or anyone else.

I'm glad there are men like you, that enjoy that time. My son's Dad seems to find excuses to spend less time with him than more!

That does happen I must say, 'the dunno til it's gone.'

I'm not special. Just a dad, some people shouldn't have kids, but do and some should but can't

unicorn1984

You're definitely right there. Some men shouldn't. My son's Dad isn't a bad person he is just very lazy when it comes to doing things that don't benefit him. He makes out like he lives on another continent when he is only 12 miles away! The kids are lucky to have you in their lives, and even if things don't work out with your ex I hope she will still let you have as much contact with all 3 of the children. Sounds like you treat them all equally and it must be a big thing, taking on another man's children, so take comfort in knowing that even though you may have some "faults" as she sees it, I'm sure you are a hero to them kids

Confusedandneedhelp

I think she will, think we reaching a turning point. Love those kids, not going to risk anything to jeapordise that.

meritaten

my OH and I broke up for over a year when we were 'courting'. we have been married now for over 35 years. he says I am his 'soulmate'.

Confusedandneedhelp

meritaten wrote: »

my OH and I broke up for over a year when we were 'courting'. we have been married now for over 35 years. he says I am his 'soulmate'.

Congrats, that's really lovely

unicorn1984

Aw Meritaten thats cute.

How's things now Confusedandneedhelp? x

Confusedandneedhelp

Heyas,

Well things have progressed quite steadily:

So since the W/E of the 21st, we have made good progress. Spoke often during the week and generally were on good terms, making plans for me seeing kids more on summer holidays etc and in general.

Then Saturday we did the whole saturday events (football, swimming, trip to the park) then i went out with my mate who was visiting. She decided to go out too, her mum had the kids. 11am i get a call from her, whilst im at football. She's feeling rough, so i come over with some comfort food.

She tells me how crap her night was, how she ended up slapping this other guy (which did make me smile, even though i know there was nothing but a kiss and a cuddle there anyway, how she had had enough of that and how bad he had been for her.), but most importantly how she wasnt enjoying going out, realised how the people who were there were just taking advantage, in terms of money etc. How money went missing from her purse. And how, with the exception of a few people there, the majority werent really her friends and she's realised that.

Anyway, we had a cuddle in bed for a few hours and just chatted about what we wanted. She told me she loved me, and she wanted to get back together, but i said i didnt want to rush it. How we should take time to sort out the situation properly.

I ended up staying the night, which was nice, but aside from a kiss that was it. Since then, we've spoken often and ive been round to see her and the kids. but being sensible, ive not stayed yesterday, and not planning to. next big event will be saturday when the kids are staying at mine and she's already said she'd liek to come over and we can order a takeaway ( or i may try my hand at cooking!) and watch a dvd with a bottle of wine.

We've also both commited to stopping smoking, and cutting down our drinking, and she's cut off most of the people she was out with by deactivating her facebook, so i dont think it's just words. But opinions welcome as always

Ozzuk

Well best of luck, just watch you don't end up repeating cycles and getting hurt. Does sound like you are handling things better though.

unicorn1984

That's great that things seem better for you! Just take it slowly and make sure she is 100% sure of what she wants before you jump back in (giving you the same advice I keep getting lol)

Definitely seems positive, like she thought there was better out there and has now realised that what you guys had is what she prefers. Hope things continue to improve for you and the kids too!

You are having better luck than me, I am just waiting on references to come back and I should be moving out on Friday..... x