Sharing salaries.bills, etc

SeduLOUs

Tiglath wrote: »

We treat our money as joint. Most things come out of my account as DH has no concept of budgeting and isn't interested in learning, so I manage all the household stuff and our savings to make sure it actually happens. We have equal spending money but I put some of mine into my pension/savings. I tend to use my annual bonus on things for us like a holiday or replacing something in the house. I realised long ago that if we want a decent future and retirement, I'm the one needs to make it happen or it won't happen at all. I don't resent that - you can't make someone change their attitude to money if they're not willing.

Sounds like us. My partner trusts me to look after all of our money and divvy out the remainder after bills/savings equally (although he still has unrestricted access to bank accounts and can look at anything he wants should he be so inclined). That's my 'job' in the relationship, and his job is to look after the cars and do the manly stuff.

Worry_Wart

I'm better with money, I also earn a lot more, have a perfect credit score, and own the house we live in. I'm not joining my accounts with my partner as there's just no need. He pays a nominal amount towards the housekeeping and the rest of his money is his to do whatever he wants with. I pay the mortgage, half of the bills, and pay if we got out to dinner or to see a play or on holiday. We've got no kids and don't intend on ever having any, so I see no issue with the way we work our finances. He knows roughly what I earn and I know what he earns. If I get a big bonus then I tell him how much and what I plan on spending it on (usually house stuff or towards the mortgage), but quite frankly he doesn't care, as it's my money. He could earn more if he wanted but he chooses not to as he doesn't want the stress and he's not motivated by money. If we were going to share wages I'd have the expectation that he earned more, and worked full time, but he doesn't want to, so it means I have more money than him. Each to their own.

Northern78

Me and DH have a joint account where both our wages are paid into. He earns approximately £10,000 a year more than me if not more. I used to work full time but after having DS I only work 4 days and after baby 2 is born that will be 3 days for a while. As DH is forces his pay varies depending on if he is on active duty, long posting away from home or just based in the UK but whatever he gets always goes into the joint account.

We both have a certain amount of money paid into our own personal account each month for us to do with what we like. DH likes a flutter on the football (touchy subject this morning!) and I spend on other things.

In the last two years we've both had fairly large bonuses from work, his far bigger than mine though. Mine paid for us all to have a family holiday earlier this year and DH's was after he came back from Afghanistan and paid for a new (second hand) car and nursery furniture for when DS was born.

The way we see it is it's just one big pot of money regardless of who earned it. Neither of us would ever dream of keeping money to ourselves.

catkins

maman wrote: »

These threads crop up from time to time and views tend to fall into the:

• 'I couldn't be in a relationship unless everything was shared 50:50. That's what I do and I think it shows commitment.' Ironically these almost always come from women who earn less than their partners.
• then there are those who like to manage their own money but are happy to pay shared bills just as they'd have had to pay bills if living alone.

When I met OH 35 years ago I was earning about double what he was. When we got married we opened a joint bank account and both our wages went into it.


We still have a joint bank account and a joint savings account. Over the years, he has earned more than me for a while, I have earned more than him for a while, he didn't work at all for a while and now he works full time and I don't work at all.


All money earned, won etc is OUR money. Neither of us could have been bothered to go to all the trouble of working out how much we should take out of separate accounts to pay into a joint account to pay bills, food etc. Trying to work out percentages compared to what you earn and then maybe one week one of you does overtime or wins £30 on the lottery or earns less because you were off sick. Then of course bills go up, food goes up etc. Just seems like a lot of effort for no reason.


Also for those who believe bills etc should be split into the higher earner paying more than the lower earner what happens if one of you stops work to have children or can't work because of illness? I don't work and haven't for a few years but my OH never makes me feel I can't buy something because it's all his money

heartbreak_star

My OH wouldn't make me feel like that either.

I would.

I do think it's a very personal thing

HBS x

Tiglath

maman wrote: »

These threads crop up from time to time and views tend to fall into the:

• 'I couldn't be in a relationship unless everything was shared 50:50. That's what I do and I think it shows commitment.' Ironically these almost always come from women who earn less than their partners.

I earn a lot more than my husband, so I'm glad to be bucking the trend on that one Not all contributions in a relationship are financial.

74jax

catkins wrote: »

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Also for those who believe bills etc should be split into the higher earner paying more than the lower earner what happens if one of you stops work to have children or can't work because of illness? I don't work and haven't for a few years but my OH never makes me feel I can't buy something because it's all his money

In our case my OH took the summer of one year from work so he could just spend it at the beach kitesurfing, he paid the same in to the bills as though he was earning his salary still, so nothing changed.

Children won't be an issue with us but if I went on long term sick he would just pick up the bills, it's not something we'd have to discuss or me to ask, he just would.

Gloomendoom

Tiglath wrote: »

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I earn a lot more than my husband, so I'm glad to be bucking the trend on that one Not all contributions in a relationship are financial.

I wish my wife earned a lot more than me.

I could retire.

Person_one

heartbreak_star wrote: »

We do trust each other. I'm trying to work out how to say this without sounding mental, but I guess as long as the bills are paid, we have food on the table and a roof over our heads, we don't really care about money - it doesn't really affect us.

Ah, you must both earn a decent amount then.

heartbreak_star

Person_one wrote: »

Ah, you must both earn a decent amount then.

Not really, definitely less than national average, but we earn similar amounts - I think there's less than £4k difference p.a. (his salary is slightly higher).

We don't have any children though and do not want any, so that probably makes a difference too!

HBS x