Sharing salaries.bills, etc

millysg1

All wages go into a joint account for me and OH. All bills come out of there and then we give each ourselves an equal amount of pocket money (that we agreed together what we thought was an appropriate amount) for that month to spend on "other" things, ie going out, clothes, luxurys.

I earn more than my OH but I see everything as equal. I also hope one day I will be on maternity leave and then he will be brining in more money.

We both get bonus'/dividends and it goes straight into a savings account where we decide together how is gets paid. Sometimes it might be for one person, i.e. one of us wants a new phone, or it could go on our house or on doing something together like a holiday. But whatever it is, we discuss together, no matter who's brought the money in.

millysg1

I agree your partner is being unreasonable. I wouldn't stand it.

GobbledyGook

kierze wrote: »

I understand what you mean by working hours. However, upon leaving school I made a decision to become more educated, and have put a lot of hours and effort in to gaining the position and salary that I receive, so that I could have a good work life balance and earn more. My partner on the other hand did not. She left school and partied, didn't go to uni or peruse a career.

I think that's a very dodgy road to go down. You knew what your girlfriend did for a living when you bought the house with her. You persuaded her to take on a bigger mortgage based on you both putting X and Y into the pot so complaining/commenting that she didn't work harder to get a better career would get you the short shrift.

What is she spending the overtime on? Is she doing the overtime to pay for something specific? Has the contribution to the bigger mortgage left her short for something she wants to do?

Also how regular is the overtime? Is it a one off/couple of times a year and therefore worth letting go or is it very regular?

Also it leaves you with less than she has on those months, but does she normally have less than you? If that's the case she might not be too happy with the suggestion that it's unfair she had more than you if you normally have more.

kierze

millysg1 wrote: »

All wages go into a joint account for me and OH. All bills come out of there and then we give each ourselves an equal amount of pocket money (that we agreed together what we thought was an appropriate amount) for that month to spend on "other" things, ie going out, clothes, luxurys.

I earn more than my OH but I see everything as equal. I also hope one day I will be on maternity leave and then he will be brining in more money.

We both get bonus'/dividends and it goes straight into a savings account where we decide together how is gets paid. Sometimes it might be for one person, i.e. one of us wants a new phone, or it could go on our house or on doing something together like a holiday. But whatever it is, we discuss together, no matter who's brought the money in.

This is what I am going to suggest. Thanks

GobbledyGook

Just saw your comment about your OH pushed for the house so apologies for the assumption - I read from your first post that the ore expensive house was your suggestion.

millysg1 wrote: »

All wages go into a joint account for me and OH. All bills come out of there and then we give each ourselves an equal amount of pocket money (that we agreed together what we thought was an appropriate amount) for that month to spend on "other" things, ie going out, clothes, luxurys.

I earn more than my OH but I see everything as equal. I also hope one day I will be on maternity leave and then he will be brining in more money.

We both get bonus'/dividends and it goes straight into a savings account where we decide together how is gets paid. Sometimes it might be for one person, i.e. one of us wants a new phone, or it could go on our house or on doing something together like a holiday. But whatever it is, we discuss together, no matter who's brought the money in.

This is what we do.

kierze

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I think that's a very dodgy road to go down. You knew what your girlfriend did for a living when you bought the house with her. You persuaded her to take on a bigger mortgage based on you both putting X and Y into the pot so complaining/commenting that she didn't work harder to get a better career would get you the short shrift.

What is she spending the overtime on? Is she doing the overtime to pay for something specific? Has the contribution to the bigger mortgage left her short for something she wants to do?

Also how regular is the overtime? Is it a one off/couple of times a year and therefore worth letting go or is it very regular?

Also it leaves you with less than she has on those months, but does she normally have less than you? If that's the case she might not be too happy with the suggestion that it's unfair she had more than you if you normally have more.

I agree it was my choice to be with her and I'm not complaining about that. I was pointing out that I earn more as a result of my efforts, but end up with less.

Just to clarify I it works out I pay 70% of bills. We then split the spending money left over. So if there is no overtime or bonuses then we receive the same amount paid into the fun accounts. Even tho I pay more in. However if she does OT I still pay 70% and still receive the same fun money but my partner receives 100% of the overtime in addition to her regular fun money.

Grumpygit

I do not earn anything from overtime and do get an annual bonus. Hubby can earn overtime but doesn't get any bonuses.

Everything gets paid into a joint account and then we have the same personal spend money.

Any overtime he earns more often than not goes into our holiday fund as does my bonus - this pays for our annual holiday.

However, he has done a few extra hours here and there and I have said that he can have that money for a forthcoming trip he has on his bike but he doesn't expect that or ask for it (although he did today but I will let him off as it's his birthday lol)

It does seem unfair that she is taking anything extra although she is working for it. At the very least she should (or could) take some of it and put the rest into the joint account - but I suppose it depends on what she is going to be using it for....if she was using the overtime/bonus for something for you both then fair enough but to splurge on a big shopping trip just for her (for example) then it does seem wrong.

Do you know what she is going to be spending the money on? How much extra do you earn in comparison to her?

kierze

Not sure exactly, nails, clothes etc. I earn as a basic salary double what she does

maman

These threads crop up from time to time and views tend to fall into the:

• 'I couldn't be in a relationship unless everything was shared 50:50. That's what I do and I think it shows commitment.' Ironically these almost always come from women who earn less than their partners.
• then there are those who like to manage their own money but are happy to pay shared bills just as they'd have had to pay bills if living alone.

What I would do in your circumstances is have your wages paid into your own account and then transfer an agreed amount to the other account for bills. You might want to pay 50:50 for bills or you might want to pay proportionately on your earnings. That really depends on your agreement for how you'd purchase the house. As this is your GF (not wife) you might then want to think about whether if you spilt you'd share any equity 50:50 or based on what you'd contributed.


This way you each get to keep everything over what's shared spending. That could be overtime or it could be just surplus from a higher salary.


I don't think your GF is currently playing fair. Why should all you earn go into the joint bills fund and she gets to keep part of her earnings. That's not on.


I would acknowledge that couples come to arrangements how they'll manage financially if one takes a career break whether for a child or to study. Here one partner may be 'kept' for a time. But that's not where you're at.

StuC75

That is sooo not the way to go...

Sooo were you to have children and be married what will happen there, will she have more money or would you be gracious to pay her an 'allowance'.. Or would you say it was her decisions to stop working and raise a family?

Point is all couples find what works for them pool or separate account, if one party is unhappy or holds resentment at that then it can be a sign of whats to come.

Did you ever discuss what would happen if earnings increased or reduced for either one of you?

kierze wrote: »

I understand what you mean by working hours. However, upon leaving school I made a decision to become more educated, and have put a lot of hours and effort in to gaining the position and salary that I receive, so that I could have a good work life balance and earn more. My partner on the other hand did not. She left school and partied, didn't go to uni or peruse a career.