Sharing salaries.bills, etc

ratechaser

maman wrote: »

These threads crop up from time to time and views tend to fall into the:

• 'I couldn't be in a relationship unless everything was shared 50:50. That's what I do and I think it shows commitment.' Ironically these almost always come from women who earn less than their partners.
• then there are those who like to manage their own money but are happy to pay shared bills just as they'd have had to pay bills if living alone.

FWIW, and in the interests of a bit of balance, everything is 50:50 in a single joint account with my wife (ok, there are actually lots of joint accounts, but only the interest bearing ones!), and she manages ALL the finances. And my income is about 200k more than hers. So there are a few of us men out there that also see this as the 'right' thing to do as well.

And it's cheaper than having an accountant

Mirno

Tell your girlfriend that you talked to your boss, and now you work 1 hour a week but do 36.5 (assuming you used to have 37.5 before) hours of overtime at the same rate of pay.
Then tell her how much that is going to cost her, and how much you'll have in your account. Tell her you know it's unfair, but it's the system she wants.

If you take a system to the extreme, it tends to show it's flaws more readily.

krlyr

StuC75 wrote: »

That is sooo not the way to go...

Sooo were you to have children and be married what will happen there, will she have more money or would you be gracious to pay her an 'allowance'.. Or would you say it was her decisions to stop working and raise a family?

OP wants their earnings to be pooled/shared equally as a couple (despite earning more), not sure where this comment about being "gracious" comes from! He's already being pretty "gracious" about the situation as it is.

prowla

Seems to me like the GF wants to "share" things when it's to her advantage, and keep things to herself when it's to her advantage.

maman

ratechaser wrote: »

FWIW, and in the interests of a bit of balance, everything is 50:50 in a single joint account with my wife (ok, there are actually lots of joint accounts, but only the interest bearing ones!), and she manages ALL the finances. And my income is about 200k more than hers. So there are a few of us men out there that also see this as the 'right' thing to do as well.

And it's cheaper than having an accountant

I do hope you're paying her!:rotfl:


I was imagining the reverse situation. If a man came on here and said that his partner puts all her salary towards bills but that he keeps any overtime to himself to spend down the pub because he worked for it, he'd be slated.

kj*daisy

You should have the same to spend, she is not being fair. She is benefitting from your larger salary but not prepared to share her overtime. Take note of what she is telling you about her attitude towards your money and her money.

SeduLOUs

Sounds like "what's his is ours, what's mine is mine".

You either share ALL of your money, or you don't share at all and split the bills evenly. You can't have it both ways.

maman

SeduLOUs wrote: »

Sounds like "what's his is ours, what's mine is mine".

You either share ALL of your money, or you don't share at all and split the bills evenly. You can't have it both ways.

I totally agree with your first statement but think I may disagree with the second.


There is the option of contributing in proportion to earnings. 50:50 (i.e. evenly) isn't the only option. So if OP earns double what his partner earns then he could offer to pay two thirds of bills and she pays a third but of her total earnings including overtime.

ska_lover

kierze wrote: »

Hi, I did reply to a thread but not had a response so apologies if you have read this. Thought I would start a new one.

My girlfriend earns less than me and we have recently bought a house she was worried about the size of the mortgage and to put her at ease I worked out the full income/outcome including food, holidays, savings etc and determined with our combined wage we will be comfortable. (All good and well)

We opened a joint account for all bills and now have our salaries paid in. We also have a separate account where we pay the remainder split in to each account evenly for fun.

However. I can not earn overtime but my girlfriend can. She takes 100% over her overtime/bonuses into her personal account.

her argument is that she has worked extra, but even with overtime her wage is less than what I earn so effectively even though I earn more I end up with less! Am I being unreasonable?

It seems very unfair to me.

I can kind of see both sides of the argument, in the sense that if she wants her hair done or whatever, she will work to fund it - but that is a bit selfish - if you are paying the majority of the bills, yet she still has more spending money. I think you are being mugged off.

You need to sort this before resentment kicks in - on both sides

heartbreak_star

74jax wrote: »

Is too. I couldn't tell you what he earns or had in savings. I could guess, but could be miles off.

I have an idea what is accessible, but in total I don't have a clue.

HBS I wonder if this is another of these threads where only you and I are in the same situation 😃

Looks very much like it :rotfl:

HBS x