Sharing salaries.bills, etc

GwylimT

We split all household bills 50/50 so we each pay x amount of money into a joint account each month, whatever is left stays in our own accounts.

jaylee3

duchy wrote: »

Really?
I can't think of any couple I know who regard their relationship as permanent who don't know.

With regards to the OP try telling her you've got a nice fat bonus coming .......if she thinks it is yours to spend on yourself then you don't have a problem.......if she doesn't then you do!

Same. I have seen quite a few people on here say that they don't know what their spouse/partner earns. (And occasionally IRL.) It's more when they're not married. Not married, partner keeping income under their hat. Hmmmm, doesn't bode well imo. Me and my husband have two joint accounts: one for savings and one for income and outgoings, and all income of mine and his goes in it.

He earns more than me by about 30% (he works 30% more hours,) and he never ever mentions it and doesn't care. In fact, I deal with most of the finances, and he is happy with that. He does have access to both accounts of course, as I do. But he never cares that he earns more. I do a bit more in the house, and he works a third more hours than me.

I always find separate accounts odd. Kind of seems as if someone is trying to hide something or they don't trust their partner, or they earn a fairly significant more than their partner, and don't want their partner to have any of 'their' money. Seems fairly normal to have 'separate money' in a newish boyfriend/girlfriend relationship for the first 2-3 years, but when you're living together, buying a place, have kids together etc, and the relationship is long term, it seems really strange to me.

*Diva*

everyone runs their accounts differently. I am currently earning 25k I pay the mortgage, home insurance & life insurance which is approx £400 and then my own bills which include mobile phone bill, laptop insurance etc which are approx £100.
other half earns 14k basic with overtime as and when he wishes.
he pays for all the household bills, the food bill and whenever we go out he normally pays unless its his bday etc.


Anything extra he puts into our joint savings account and i add to it as and when. the remainder of my wage he doesnt ask what happens with it but he knows I will have a little nest egg for us. He tells me to save for our new born baby and anything she requires e.g. new outfits i buy.


It works for us thats the way he likes it. he is old fashioned in the sense he thinks the husband should provide for the wife and she earns if for her and the kids...

PenguinJim

74jax wrote: »

Is too. I couldn't tell you what he earns or had in savings. I could guess, but could be miles off.

I have an idea what is accessible, but in total I don't have a clue.

HBS I wonder if this is another of these threads where only you and I are in the same situation 😃

I'm in a similar situation. I know my OH's basic salary, but she also does independent design work cases, which I imagine increase her income by 10-50%. I'm not sure exactly! I think she's also got an Australian dollar savings account... maybe. I think she knows my salary - I earn roughly three times her basic - but everything's covered anyway. We don't encounter any financial problems.

Then again, our monthly outgoings are under 25% of our income. We naturally squeeze every penny, but as we're so far away from overspending, we don't need to account for everything month by month. If we were closer to 100%, maybe things would be different? I'm not sure. It might just be that we're both sensible with money.

StuC75

Because the OP earns significantly more (nearly double was mentioned early on in this thread).

I was in a similar position in the past with an Ex, where we had moved house (joint decision) and we always contributed to the mortgage in a split % representative of what we earnt (2/3 me, 1/3 her) as seemed fair on what brought home - we had plenty savings, holidays and each had our own money to spend.

After maternity leave though she returned to work only part time - so rather than her still contributing the same share and literally having no money each month, it was best to re-jig what I paid to mortgage to cover more so that she had money left to spend.. Any extra work that she worked was hers to use as wished (particularly when totting up the time spent at home with son and time out working) -

So didn't want her feeling that doing that extra work to then effectively give me any part of it - as paying tax then a 'cut to me' would almost have made it not worth the effort.

So my comment of gracious was if hes wanting more now, would he pay more when have children and supporting his partner - or would he be tracking what he's 'overpaid'.... Maybe I just have a more traditional view..

krlyr wrote: »

OP wants their earnings to be pooled/shared equally as a couple (despite earning more), not sure where this comment about being "gracious" comes from! He's already being pretty "gracious" about the situation as it is.

SeduLOUs

maman wrote: »

I totally agree with your first statement but think I may disagree with the second.


There is the option of contributing in proportion to earnings. 50:50 (i.e. evenly) isn't the only option. So if OP earns double what his partner earns then he could offer to pay two thirds of bills and she pays a third but of her total earnings including overtime.

I can't imagine why anyone would want the effort or the potential arguments. It's all well and good proportioning the bills as long as you both earn consistently, but then you have to recalculate every time someone gets a payrise/bonus/works a few hours overtime/gets a generous birthday gift.

And even if you proportion the bills 'fairly' based on income, it still means that one person will usually have substantially more 'leftover' money to enjoy than the other.

To me that just doesn't sound like a relationship. In my opinion, the only fair 'proportion' to use is the one that results in you both ending up with the same money leftover after the bills have been paid, regardless of who has earned what.

If one has done more overtime to benefit the household, then the other partner should compensate that effort by taking on more of the household tasks that would normally be shared.

Ozzuk

Fair is whatever agreement you and your partner reach and are both happy with. You should be able to communicate and reach that.

In a previous life I had joint account, salaries were paid in (mine was considerably more) and we just took out a set amount (same) each month as free spending money (200 IIRC, but amount not important).

I've also been in relationships where salary was paid into own accounts, and a joint setup for bills.

There is no right or wrong answer, fairness is subject, reach a compromise

74jax

SeduLOUs wrote: »

I .

And even if you proportion the bills 'fairly' based on income, it still means that one person will usually have substantially more 'leftover' money to enjoy than the other.

Hubby spends way more than me each month, and yearly too. I don't need to have the same amount of personal spending money just to say it's 'fair'. After we've paid our share of the bills he has maybe 2-3 times more spending money to me, but I don't need anymore.

Ozzuk wrote: »

Fair is whatever agreement you and your partner reach and are both happy with. You should be able to communicate and..
..reach a compromise

Totally agree, what's right for one couple doesn't have to be for another.

sulkisu

I also think that your girlfriend is being unfair. As a few other posters have suggested, I would go a different arrangement where you put the same amount into a joint account for bills etc. You keep whatever you have left and your g/f keeps hers, plus her overtime.

apesxx

Sorry but I think your partner is right. Money from overtime should really be hers unless you are in desperate need of something that your saving up for! At the end of the day it's an opportunity for her to earn a few extra quid to maybe treat herself to some news clothes etc. if I had to hand over my overtime money then I would just stop doing it if it wasn't worth my while!

For me, if there's something I want but can't afford, or maybe a friends hen night coming up or something then I will work extra at work to cover the cost. If I've had to work extra, an extra day over the weekend etc then that is my money to treat myself with :-)