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krustylouise

KatieDee wrote: »

I'm working today but due to go on my run in...43 minutes! I'm really looking forward to it actually.

How do you find meditation? It's something I've always wanted to start but never got round to doing...same with yoga!

I should add...if anybody who can relate to this thread would like to chat, please feel free to PM me A problem shared is a problem halved and all that!

I always felt I had "no time" for meditation but I downloaded a free app {i'll PM you the name if you're interested} and its literally 10mins of very easy time just for you. It's nice and it genuinely does help me feel calm. I even find myself feeling stressed during the day and thinking back to how I felt when I meditated last night.

I hope you have a nice run in approximately 35mins how far do you run?

Snakey

Katie, I am glad you're feeling more positive and energetic - sometimes it just takes a little kick to get going and maybe this thread will turn out to have been it!

KatieDee

krustylouise wrote: »

I always felt I had "no time" for meditation but I downloaded a free app {i'll PM you the name if you're interested} and its literally 10mins of very easy time just for you. It's nice and it genuinely does help me feel calm. I even find myself feeling stressed during the day and thinking back to how I felt when I meditated last night.

I hope you have a nice run in approximately 35mins how far do you run?

I am fortunate enough to live right next to a park which I believe is about 1.5 miles the whole way round. I am trying to do two laps (increasing over time) so really not that far compared to some! I enjoy it though...trying not to push myself too far in case I give up!

Snakey wrote: »

The standard getting-out-of-a-rut advice of "why not take up [an evening class/a team sport/a group activity/voluntary work], you'll soon make plenty of new friends!" only makes me realise just how not-normal I am.

For me, social activities have a massively high ratio of effort to reward. I don't seem to have much in common with anybody, and when the dust settles in a new group I'm normally the only one who hasn't made any friends and it requires a constant effort - and a very thick skin - from then on, just to be able to hang around the edges and not be "accidentally" left out of all the socials etc. And the instant I stop trying, that's the end of it.

So even when I'm feeling good I spend most of my time on my own, because it's not worth putting myself through the above unless I really, really want to do the activity in question. And when I'm feeling down, there's no question of "really, really wanting" to do anything.

Which leaves solo things... exercise, projects etc... and here's where we came in - I just cannot be bothered doing any of it.

Katie, I am glad you're feeling more positive and energetic - sometimes it just takes a little kick to get going and maybe this thread will turn out to have been it!

Thank you

I have a bit of an issue with being social...I can act incredibly confident and can be a bit of a charmer but I am very vulnerable...if I feel as though people don't like me or I'm not welcome, I instantly close up! Half the time I think I'm being a bit self-obsessed and paranoid but it doesn't stop me from taking everything personally!

Bublin1

Kayalana99 wrote: »

That really does sound more like anxiety perhaps even depression more then just boredom xx

Yes, i think so too. I just can't relax and I'm always thinking ahead.

codemonkey

Snakey wrote: »

The standard getting-out-of-a-rut advice of "why not take up [an evening class/a team sport/a group activity/voluntary work], you'll soon make plenty of new friends!" only makes me realise just how not-normal I am.

For me, social activities have a massively high ratio of effort to reward. I don't seem to have much in common with anybody, and when the dust settles in a new group I'm normally the only one who hasn't made any friends and it requires a constant effort - and a very thick skin - from then on, just to be able to hang around the edges and not be "accidentally" left out of all the socials etc. And the instant I stop trying, that's the end of it.

So even when I'm feeling good I spend most of my time on my own, because it's not worth putting myself through the above unless I really, really want to do the activity in question. And when I'm feeling down, there's no question of "really, really wanting" to do anything.

Which leaves solo things... exercise, projects etc... and here's where we came in - I just cannot be bothered doing any of it.

Katie, I am glad you're feeling more positive and energetic - sometimes it just takes a little kick to get going and maybe this thread will turn out to have been it!

^^ this. So much this.

I've never managed to make friends at any classes I've been to, no matter how hard I try. People either go with their friends or we never get past the small talk. I think I must have missed the making friends class.

tea_lover

codemonkey wrote: »

^^ this. So much this.

I've never managed to make friends at any classes I've been to, no matter how hard I try. People either go with their friends or we never get past the small talk. I think I must have missed the making friends class.

Totally. I've joined lots of groups, done various classes etc. and have found lots of people I've got on well with. But it's never gone beyond seeing them at these meetings/events.

After a while I tend to give up with the group/class anyway as it all starts to feel like a chore.

I've just stopped going to a local choir I'd been part of for 2 years as I was starting to almost resent going. The other people there seemed lovely and we used to chat etc. but in two years I never saw one of them outside of the choir.

onlyroz

codemonkey wrote: »

^^ this. So much this.

I've never managed to make friends at any classes I've been to, no matter how hard I try. People either go with their friends or we never get past the small talk. I think I must have missed the making friends class.

Depends whether you're going to these classes purely to make friends, or because you want to learn a new skill. If your only reason is the former then I see little point in going (it's like the cliche of a man joining a cookery class purely to meet women).

Pthree

I see so much of myself in a lot of these posts, it has actually made me cry to know I am not the only one.

I have no hobbies, I have never been able to stick with anything, even as a kid, ballet, piano, tennis, piano again, art etc threw myself in with gusto at the start then 2 weeks later I would give up (relationships too lol) as I have not found anything I am naturally good at, and I dont like being crap at things, if that makes any sense at all.

My job is quite stressful but not challenging to me anymore, there is no room for progress where I am, but I dont have the confidence to apply for others, the thought of going for interviews makes me physically sick. I spend all day waiting to go home, then all weekend waiting for Monday to do it all again.

I was on antidepressants for years and never found them to be any help so in February I started to wean myself off they and tried exercise which does not make me feel better, I have lost a bit of weight which I also thought would boost my confidence but it hasn't seemed to have kicked in yet.

My friends (the few I have) all seem to only want to see me when something is going wrong in their lives, so I'm guessing I must be a good listener but at the same time, I dont really want to hear it, if I even start to talk about my "issues" they dont really listen, tell me to do something about it... but what????

I do want to do something with my life, I'm nearly 39, but still feel like I dont know what I want to do when I grow up and I dont know where to start, I have done countless test things which are supposed to tell you what you would be good at but I always disagree with the results.

My sky+ seems to rule my life, that and my Kindle, I do love to read I guess books are the only thing that I start that I actually finish lol

I have actually read so much I thought I should write a book, on numerous occasion but I just ended up with around 10 half written first chapters.

Dractonis

Snakey wrote: »

The standard getting-out-of-a-rut advice of "why not take up [an evening class/a team sport/a group activity/voluntary work], you'll soon make plenty of new friends!" only makes me realise just how not-normal I am.

For me, social activities have a massively high ratio of effort to reward. I don't seem to have much in common with anybody, and when the dust settles in a new group I'm normally the only one who hasn't made any friends and it requires a constant effort - and a very thick skin - from then on, just to be able to hang around the edges and not be "accidentally" left out of all the socials etc. And the instant I stop trying, that's the end of it.

So even when I'm feeling good I spend most of my time on my own, because it's not worth putting myself through the above unless I really, really want to do the activity in question. And when I'm feeling down, there's no question of "really, really wanting" to do anything.

Which leaves solo things... exercise, projects etc... and here's where we came in - I just cannot be bothered doing any of it.

I am exactly the same and despite being made to feel as though I am strange for feeling that way, I have just begun to accept that it's who I am. I am just introverted, those activities expend a lot of energy for me and all I am doing is counting the time till I can return to my home. I also don't have many friends but I'm fine with that, I just see it as effort in all honesty and it's not because I'm a horrible person or anything.

I lack interest in most things but have a lot of pets, like to read, watch the tennis, learn languages and play online games. Most of my time is spent with or chatting to my partner and playing aforementioned games with him, but for the remainder I tend to opt for the others or treat myself to a bath or something.

OP does learning of any sort interest you? If you can finance it something like the Open University might be an idea, they have a lot of free courses too if you're just looking for something to do rather than an actual qualification.

Also if languages interest you, duolingo.com is an awesome site that basically gamifies language learning. You can download apps, track your progress, level up and share the experience with other users in a sort of social networking environment.

krustylouise

Just popping in to see how you're getting on with your running KatieDee? The weather's rubbish here today. I set my alarm last night and actually woke up at 5:30am, had a little breakfast and then did some yoga!!! Then did some cleaning and washing and fed the cats etc. Dropped DD off at breakfast club at 8am and I was shattered haha!!!

I will do some more yoga {only 10mins at a time} and more meditation tonight before bed {really getting into it, makes me very calm!}

Hope you're well and running's going well {and that the weather's better near you!}