No Interests!

KatieDee

view wrote: »

I know exactly how you feel. My hubby has a wide amount of interests and grows this list (unintentionally) each year.

I used to be interested in playing a particular type of sport until I was unable to due to knee damage. I love to travel, however, with a full time job, pet, OH and house it's not that often I get to do this.

I 'like' seeing friends and doing a few things here and there, however, everyone seems to have passion and a spark to do things, and I don't. I felt 'odd' for ages. I'm sociable with friends and friendly to people, no problems making friends so if I wanted to, I could be doing many varied things with many people. I'm not trying to blow my trumpet, just that if I could, why don't I....

I'm not that interested in me me me, it's not a narcissistic thing... just not that interested in anything else...

Not sure if your story is the same as mine above, however, having lack of passion/spark for pretty much anything is a very familiar feeling. I wish there was something to jolt me out of this... love to learn a language, however, lost that spark too... find it hard to live in the 'here and now'. I don't feel depressed, just, blah nothingness I guess.

Didn't mean to turn this into about me, however, if you feel the same just wanted to say you're not alone.

I think perhaps, and I'm going to try this myself, having an aim to finish something and not rush through it. Enjoy every minute of what I'm doing and think deeply about what I'm doing. Think of why I'm doing something and if I get real enjoyment out of it. Then at the end, see how I feel.

I guess I think about when I'm 8o's+ and if I'm in any way incapacitated would I look back and think.. why didn't I take life by the horns and get out there whilst I could....

Perhaps I am (and maybe you) just aren't challenged enough? Or perhaps just not found that 'thing' that grabs the spark...

Wish you all the best and hope you don't feel down about this, I'm sure there are quite a few folk out there that feel like this too.

This is totally me! I almost cried when I read this...you explained the feeling far better than I could. The part about looking back when I'm older is something that really bothers me.

I definitely agree about the challenging part...I love a good challenge and can get really stuck in but I find I end up either giving up or completing the challenge and feeling as though it was too easy!

In regards to the travelling you mentioned...I have a break planned for September which includes visits to Iceland, Canada and America but I know for a fact I'll get more anxious until I get there, then probably feel a bit "meh" about everything, despite it being an amazing experience on paper.

I can relate about the sociable part as well...I get on with most people, I can be the centre of attention and not feel uncomfortable, although equally don't mind being in the background. I just see other people living a seemingly normal life full of enjoyment and feel envious, which in turn makes me a little bit bitter.

I just wanted to say thank you for responding...in an odd way, you've made me feel better. I hope things improve for you and you get your spark back...then you can come and tell me how you did it

System

KatieDee wrote: »

I suppose I just want some kind of insight on what could be wrong with me and how I can improve my outlook. I read about people on here having the most amazing hobbies that seem to give them a lot of satisfaction...I want this!

At the moment, I feel as though I'm wasting my life doing nothing.

Any advice or experiences greatly appreciated

Something that strikes me from your OP is that a lot of the things you're trying seem to be you alone doing them, and I wondered if you'd enjoy things more if you were with other people. When you get chatting to others it can distract you from your own nervous or negative thoughts and it lifts the mood.

KatieDee

sleepymans wrote: »

Sorry to be so base,,,,,but...how is your love/sex life??

Long term relationship, five years, not perfect but what long term relationship is? Partially down to my lack of compassion about anything I think...but he's very understanding about it.

Anatidaephobia wrote: »

Did you tell your doctor that you didn't feel the anti-depressants were having much of an effect on you? There are many different types of anti-depressants and they all have different effects. It's difficult to say which will work and which won't because they all react differently for different people so it requires trial and error in order to find the right one. You would be very lucky to find that the first one you tried was right for you. I would recommend discussing this further with your doctor and trying a different one.

Thank you for your reply. I never went back...stupid, I know, but I didn't fancy going through the mind-screw of taking numerous different anti-depressants until I found something that worked. The side effects are just too much and I feel as though I'd be doing more damage than good.

I do think they're an excellent option for some people, but I feel as though my attitude/feelings are more to do with a behavioural issue than a biological issue.

view

KatieDee wrote: »

This is totally me! I almost cried when I read this...you explained the feeling far better than I could.

I've been feeling this way for a while, guess I'm just used it!

KatieDee wrote: »

I just wanted to say thank you for responding...in an odd way, you've made me feel better. I hope things improve for you and you get your spark back...then you can come and tell me how you did it

No probs at all, that's what I love about this forum, there is pretty much ALWAYS someone out there in MSE forum land who knows what you're on about!

I think the key is here, and I'm really trying to do this, is live in every minute. Stop trying to rush through things, look ahead to much and race race race. Enjoy life, stop. Look around, think about what you're doing and why. I find this helps a wee bit.

Also, set yourself some medium challenges. Not easy, not hard. Tackle them doing ref the paragraph above, don't race through them. Enjoy them, we will be in our 80's one day (with the good grace) and then will probably spend every day looking back!

Have a wonderful holiday, sounds fab.. very jealous! Enjoy the journey, every moment. Think about what you're doing, where you're travelling. Don't be thinking about 'right I've got this train and then this hotel and dinner there' just go with it. Take moments each time you go somewhere to really think about the wonder of where you are, and how lucky you are to be doing this. So many people can only dream about travelling. I'm trying to retrain myself, and it's working... slowly. Hopefully I'll do this one day without having to try.

ps perhaps everyone else is weird and we're the normal ones :rotfl:

KatieDee

view wrote: »

ps perhaps everyone else is weird and we're the normal ones :rotfl:

Yeah...that's got to be it!

You make a very good point. Perhaps I need to stop planning as much and just do "what I fancy". My problem is that I ruminate far too much and end up talking myself out of things. If I don't think/plan too much, I won't have chance to decide how I feel about something before I've even done it!

This morning, I decided to randomly go out for a run which I don't think I've ever done. I enjoyed it so much that I'm planning on doing it tomorrow and hopefully every weekday morning. Normally, I'd tell myself that I'd set off in 5/10 minutes, then think about what other people would think about me, then what would happen if I got half way round and felt ill...all silly things that were irrelevant in the end!

Gingernutty

KatieDee wrote: »

Perhaps I need to stop planning as much and just do "what I fancy". My problem is that I ruminate far too much and end up talking myself out of things. If I don't think/plan too much, I won't have chance to decide how I feel about something before I've even done it!

I'm the same. Your thread has struck such a chord with me, it's unreal.

view

KatieDee wrote: »

I enjoyed it so much that I'm planning on doing it tomorrow and hopefully every weekday morning.

Good for you! All I would say, and this is probably more about me, rather than you... is don't do the same thing too often... guaranteed you will get bored... space it out, do something different each day. Do you like swimming? Go different places too.... just speaking from experience when I like something, I like it and do it to death! And then it really is dead.... And I think that's part of the problem... space it out....

view

Gingernutty wrote: »

I'm the same. Your thread has struck such a chord with me, it's unreal.

Love this forum

view

PS out of interest, and you don't need to be too specific, what is your job? Just interested as I feel my job controls how I do things in my personal life, as in the traits I need for my job dictate how I act. I'm trying to divorce the two as I think that may be part of the issue.

KatieDee

Gingernutty wrote: »

I'm the same. Your thread has struck such a chord with me, it's unreal.

It is strangely reassuring that other people feel the same way though.

I'm so envious of these people who go cycling off-road on a weekend and seem to genuinely enjoy it. Likewise, people who go walking or visit famous places/buildings. I find myself doing this and just feeling at a loose end, like I'm supposed to feel amazing but end up indifferent. This puts me off visiting new places as I just remember how I felt and don't bother!

Frustrating, as I'm in a position to do almost anything I want to do...I just don't have the compassion to do it. I'm sure this is very frustrating for those who have lots of ideas but no way to facilitate them.

I'm afraid I can't give you any advice (although view seems to be on the button!) but wish you the best of luck in improving your outlook