No Interests!

KatieDee

Hello everybody,

I was going to post this anonymously but I've decided to post as myself. Here's hoping nobody recognises me from "real life"! I hope this is the right forum to post in as well...

I don't seem to get any enjoyment out of anything. I try to read but lose interest. I drive to new places and find myself wandering aimlessly feeling bored. I go to visit people and count down the minutes until I go home. I go to gigs and sit waiting for them to finish. I have this urge to learn and experience everything life has to offer...but no actual commitment to doing anything!! I have no zest for life.

Even things I enjoy, I don't seem to be able to do for long. For example, I adore baking but start baking something, then try and finish it as quickly as possible when I become bored. I could probably be a fairly good cook if I just put my mind to it but I don't, and that just reinforces the fact I'm not very good.

I'm really starting to worry about this. My entire life feels a bit aimless and although there's nothing there causing any discomfort...I'm just unhappy. Because I rarely enjoy anything, my whole outlook on life seems to be negative and it doesn't make me a very nice person at times.

I suppose I just want some kind of insight on what could be wrong with me and how I can improve my outlook. I read about people on here having the most amazing hobbies that seem to give them a lot of satisfaction...I want this!

At the moment, I feel as though I'm wasting my life doing nothing.

Any advice or experiences greatly appreciated

gabycat

You sound depressed , I would advise you see your dr

Tiglath

If no-one made any demands on you, what would your perfect day look like?

KatieDee

gabycat wrote: »

You sound depressed , I would advise you see your dr

I've seen my doctor and he prescribed me some anti-depressants which I took for around a year. Unfortunately, I did not feel they had a very positive effect on me physically so I decided to wean myself off them. I can honestly say I feel no better or worse than I did when I was taking them. I've also seen a counsellor (many years ago) but again, this did not have any effect.

Tiglath wrote: »

If no-one made any demands on you, what would your perfect day look like?

I honestly can't answer that...I think this is my problem. There are very few demands put on me at the moment anyway, I have a very understanding employer, great hours, no children. The only demands I have are tidying the house which isn't really that big of a job.

I've had a completely free weekend and I couldn't think of anything to do with my time that would have made me happy. I'm sorry I can't answer your question.

Better_Days

I think you sound depressed too.

Exercise can help with mild depression. Do you do any exercise and if not is there anything you fancy trying? The thing with exercise is to chose something you enjoy otherwise it just becomes a chore.

Mindfulness can also help - I really like this book 'End the struggle and dance with life' by Susan Jeffers. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Struggle-Dance-Life-Susan-Jeffers/dp/0340897600/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1401646747&sr=8-1&keywords=end+the+struggle+and+dance+with+life
But if you browse self help books you may find another which you think will suit you better.

CBT should also be offered by your CCG for depression which may help. Be aware though that mental health services in some areas are poorly resourced and under great strain.

If you are diagnosed with depression you may be offered medication. You may need to try a few before you find something that suits you. Also some anti-depressants are difficult to come off again due to withdrawal symptoms.

I hope that you do find the help that you need. Depression, if this is your diagnosis, can be very disabling.

PasturesNew

It can be hard to find an interest that holds you - maybe you're better suited to some volunteering, but looking for things of real interest that you can volunteer for because: [a] you'll have to keep going there'll be other people there so it'll be interesting.

Most volunteering stuff's really super dull ... but if you look around there is some interesting stuff out there.

Or, find 1-day workshops doing stuff you think you're interested in - because then your hands are busy so it'll be more enjoyable than being a spectator to something.

view

I know exactly how you feel. My hubby has a wide amount of interests and grows this list (unintentionally) each year.

I used to be interested in playing a particular type of sport until I was unable to due to knee damage. I love to travel, however, with a full time job, pet, OH and house it's not that often I get to do this.

I 'like' seeing friends and doing a few things here and there, however, everyone seems to have passion and a spark to do things, and I don't. I felt 'odd' for ages. I'm sociable with friends and friendly to people, no problems making friends so if I wanted to, I could be doing many varied things with many people. I'm not trying to blow my trumpet, just that if I could, why don't I....

I'm not that interested in me me me, it's not a narcissistic thing... just not that interested in anything else...

Not sure if your story is the same as mine above, however, having lack of passion/spark for pretty much anything is a very familiar feeling. I wish there was something to jolt me out of this... love to learn a language, however, lost that spark too... find it hard to live in the 'here and now'. I don't feel depressed, just, blah nothingness I guess.

Didn't mean to turn this into about me, however, if you feel the same just wanted to say you're not alone.

I think perhaps, and I'm going to try this myself, having an aim to finish something and not rush through it. Enjoy every minute of what I'm doing and think deeply about what I'm doing. Think of why I'm doing something and if I get real enjoyment out of it. Then at the end, see how I feel.

I guess I think about when I'm 8o's+ and if I'm in any way incapacitated would I look back and think.. why didn't I take life by the horns and get out there whilst I could....

Perhaps I am (and maybe you) just aren't challenged enough? Or perhaps just not found that 'thing' that grabs the spark...

Wish you all the best and hope you don't feel down about this, I'm sure there are quite a few folk out there that feel like this too.

Anatidaephobia

KatieDee wrote: »

I've seen my doctor and he prescribed me some anti-depressants which I took for around a year. Unfortunately, I did not feel they had a very positive effect on me physically so I decided to wean myself off them. I can honestly say I feel no better or worse than I did when I was taking them. I've also seen a counsellor (many years ago) but again, this did not have any effect.

Did you tell your doctor that you didn't feel the anti-depressants were having much of an effect on you? There are many different types of anti-depressants and they all have different effects. It's difficult to say which will work and which won't because they all react differently for different people so it requires trial and error in order to find the right one. You would be very lucky to find that the first one you tried was right for you. I would recommend discussing this further with your doctor and trying a different one.

KatieDee

Better_Days wrote: »

I think you sound depressed too.

Exercise can help with mild depression. Do you do any exercise and if not is there anything you fancy trying? The thing with exercise is to chose something you enjoy otherwise it just becomes a chore.

Mindfulness can also help - I really like this book 'End the struggle and dance with life' by Susan Jeffers. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Struggle-Dance-Life-Susan-Jeffers/dp/0340897600/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1401646747&sr=8-1&keywords=end+the+struggle+and+dance+with+life
But if you browse self help books you may find another which you think will suit you better.

CBT should also be offered by your CCG for depression which may help. Be aware though that mental health services in some areas are poorly resourced and under great strain.

If you are diagnosed with depression you may be offered medication. You may need to try a few before you find something that suits you. Also some anti-depressants are difficult to come off again due to withdrawal symptoms.

I hope that you do find the help that you need. Depression, if this is your diagnosis, can be very disabling.

Thank you for your thoughtful post. I will definitely look into the book your recommended...although I also bought myself a set of CBT books last night which I am looking forward to reading. One on confidence, one on happiness and I can't remember the other one!

As I said, my doctor prescribed me an anti-depressant and also referred me for counselling and I didn't feel as though it made a difference.

I have recently got back into exercise...today I went for a run in the park which felt pretty fantastic, followed by a round of squash and some weight lifting at home. I think I'm going to try and schedule my days a little bit better too...today I slept in until 11am after a late night and it felt as though I'd wasted most of my day (quite depressing!). I will force myself to wake up at 6am tomorrow to go for a run before work.

Other than this...I'm really just looking for an understanding of how people "enjoy" things. I know how odd that sounds. As I mentioned earlier, I read about people having these hobbies and they sound so fulfilled doing them. I feel if I had that, I might be a bit happier.

Thanks again.

PasturesNew wrote: »

It can be hard to find an interest that holds you - maybe you're better suited to some volunteering, but looking for things of real interest that you can volunteer for because: [a] you'll have to keep going there'll be other people there so it'll be interesting.

Most volunteering stuff's really super dull ... but if you look around there is some interesting stuff out there.

Or, find 1-day workshops doing stuff you think you're interested in - because then your hands are busy so it'll be more enjoyable than being a spectator to something.

I was thinking about volunteering for the Cats Protection League, maybe even in the form of a foster carer. I'm worried about taking it on in case I don't enjoy it or the people there don't like me, or some other silly reason (yes, I know it's silly!).

sleepymans

Sorry to be so base,,,,,but...how is your love/sex life??

dandelionclock30

Have you thought about giving some extreme sports a go like climbing, kayaking,rafting, bungee jumping etc. You wont be bored doing these.