No Interests!

KatieDee

bagpussbear wrote: »

It does sound like you have a type of 'low level' depression - look up Dysthymia on the internet.

I'm not sure I can offer you any quick solutions, I've suffered from depression a fair bit of my adult life and can only suggest you might want to look into eating healthier, or the right things (bananas are very good for mental health!). But I also took a supplement called 5HTP which did help me for a while when I was determined not to go on antidepressants again.

I bet it feels like you just 'exist' most days. Horrible feeling :-(

Wine and chocolate is also very good for my mental health :cool:

Seriously though...you're bang on the money with your last comment. I feel as though I'm existing and I'm terrified that I'm going to look back on what should be the most frivolous days of my life and regret wasting it.

I keep hoping that some life event will make me feel better but that isn't a healthy way to live. I just wish I had further insight into why I feel like this. I've had a quick read about Dysthymia...absolutely no idea this existed but it sounds like I fit the bill. I shall resist the urge to perform an internet diagnosis but it's reassuring to know there's a name for what I appear to be feeling!

Would you recommend 5HTP? Did it have an effect on you?

Snakey

Proper name for it is anhedonia, an internet search might come up with some possible other causes that might apply to you.

KatieDee

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

Your a long time dead, spend some money on yourself and dont be tight and miserable.Its not like your on the dole, there no need to live like that.
I also think you sound depressed, have you thought about CBT counselling?

Well I've had counselling before and didn't feel comfortable...I've bought some self-help books which I'm going to give a go (two birds one stone...getting more reading done and hopefully changing the way I view things!). You're right about spending money on myself...I have absolutely no issue buying things for other people but I really struggle on myself.

I bought a new car a week ago and I still feel as though I've made a mistake by buying it...there's nothing wrong with it, I love it, but when I thought about the cost I just felt anxious.

I will try and spoil myself a bit more though :j

Gingernutty

There's a term for the 'blahs'.

It's anhedonia - lack of joy/enthusiasm/zip/sparkle.

Edit : Snakey got there before me.

Anatidaephobia

Snakey wrote: »

I can function, so I suppose it isn't actually a problem. Everything that needs doing, gets done. I just don't have any sort of life whatsoever

Sounds like a problem to me Depression doesn't just become a problem when you stop getting out of bed and stop going to work. You can function and still be suffering and still deserve to get better.

KatieDee

Snakey wrote: »

Yeah, I have the same thing. I do absolutely nothing beyond the bare minimum. I spend all day at work counting down until I can go home, then when I get home I do more or less nothing and then go to bed early and read. The only difference with me is that I don't feel unhappy, just a vague sort of "meh" crossed with mild contentment.

The other thing I have trouble with is making decisions. It's like I'm paralysed. I walk into the supermarket, look at things, maybe pick stuff up and put it back again, and eventually walk out without buying anything. And that's just the small stuff - I have all the flat stuff going on too and if I told you the trouble I'm having deciding between a washing machine or a washer-dryer, or whether to pull down my built-in wardrobes, you'd think I was certifiable.

Oh my goodness...this is SO me, it's scary. I'm awful at shopping because I tend to wander aimlessly, not actually wanting anything, pick up about five things, continue to wander, talk myself out of buying them and put them all back, leaving the store with something completely random and cheap like an air freshener for my car.

Food shopping is bad because I'll way up the pros and cons of plum tomatoes for a ridiculously long period of time. Plum or salad tomatoes? Plums are sweeter but salad tomatoes sit on the sandwich better....

If I ever go out for something in particular, I'll do something similar, only I'll stand in front of it Googling the item and various alternative items for about fifteen minutes before convincing myself I didn't need it anyway and going home.

When I was younger I used to go shopping with my friends and WISH I had money to buy that handbag or that dress...now I have money available, I can't find anything I want to buy!

I really don't want to rely on medication. I know it works wonders for people and I think it's a very good option for some people...it's just not for me. I'm hoping something will click in to place and I'll be able to change my mindset, but I don't think this will happen. As you said, I can function, it's not a crippling disorder where I struggle to live life. I just feel a bit pants all the time and I've learned to adapt to live with this.

krlyr

A lot of bits of your post struck a chord with me too. I actually really began to enjoy being single before I met OH - I threw myself into 'doggy stuff', having just adopted a second dog who needed a fair bit of behavioural help, found a local dog walking group that met up weekly, volunteered at a local rescue to walk the kenneled dogs, and I was helping out some smaller animal rescues making websites, posters, etc.

Then I met OH, and although I'm very happy (and doing well - bought our house together, new-to-me car, new job, etc.), I kind of lost that passion for the dog stuff (my two still get plenty of walks, but I stopped volunteering - for some other reasons - and the group walks moved to venues further afield, second dog got a lot better behaved and so on) and didn't really replace it with any other hobbies.

We're working so hard to pay off the mortgage that everything is revolving around money too. I don't begrudge doing it, as I know the payoff will be huge, but I do get those moments where I feel like I've become so stingy it's stopped me enjoying things I would have done without a second thought. Like dessert in a restaurant - no way would I ever pay a fiver for a slice of cake nowadays, I sit there and think "I'm not a bad baker and could make a whole cake for a quid or two!"

Something that's helped me in the past few years is studying at work. I decided, after about 6 years in the same old job, to ask my boss if he'd fund me doing an online AAT course. He said if I was going to do it, he wanted me to do it properly, and go to a college. So I got into that, and I've actually really enjoyed taxing my brain. Last year, we had murmurs of redundancy, and combined with me learning all these new things at college yet never getting the chance to use them at work, I ended up looking for and taking another job, which is keeping me really busy. I wouldn't say I absolutely love my job - I work to live, not live to work, but using my studies (and really getting my teeth into this final year, which has been much more difficult) is great, I leave work at the end of the day knowing I've achieved a fair bit, instead of feeling a bit like a trained monkey after a week of data entry. Could be worth looking into, if your job allowed?


If you find money influences your decision a lot, could you set yourself a 'luxuries' budget? OH and I have £100 each we allow ourselves to spend on anything. To be honest, it often goes on household stuff, overflow from the food budget, etc. but even that is kind of a treat - if I know I have spending money, I'll splurge on my favourite biscuits or a special dinner. But I can set it aside for a couple of months if there's something big I want to buy, or I can buy myself little extras during the month - it's not specifically there for anything, so I don't feel bad about frittering it away.

Re. the DVDs, do you have anything like Lovefilm/Netflix or similar? We asked a relative to buy us a 3 month trial as a Christmas present, to try out, and we've kept up the subscription since. It's only £7 a month, and the series and films keep us occupied on the nights we fancy plonking on the sofa watching something - we find it good value for money with the amount we use it. And as a bonus, it saves that standing in the supermarket trying to pick a film - OK, you still have to decide what to watch, but worst case you just pick a random film and turn it off after 5 minutes if you're hating it - it hasn't cost you anything and you don't have to go out of the house to get a new film!


Another thing to just mention - I've always found myself quite affected by contraceptives in terms of my mood, they always tend to make me feel a bit 'low' when I first start. I've got the implant now, and I do find I get 'blue days' every once in a while - kind of like PMS I think, though I'm not on a regular cycle so it's not quite the same. I just feel quite down about life in general, but I'm equally aware that they're not really 'my' thoughts as such, just the hormones talking. But you could perhaps look at what you're on, if you are using anything hormonal, and see if your mood ties in with that at all?

Loz01

I know how you feel OP. Have you considered some kind of light voluntary work of some description? I know this a suggestion that people read and think oh god, no thanks! I used to be a bit like that as well but I now help run a girls football team and I love it. Whoever said imagine a fun weekend, mine would be playing football and encouraging the kids. It's hard to believe a small effort on my part (asking if any teams needed a coach/dogsbody) could lead to something that's such a massive part of my life now!

KatieDee

krlyr wrote: »

Like dessert in a restaurant - no way would I ever pay a fiver for a slice of cake nowadays, I sit there and think "I'm not a bad baker and could make a whole cake for a quid or two!"

:rotfl: This is me all over! An awful dilemma as I love cake...but I love saving money even more!

krlyr wrote: »

Something that's helped me in the past few years is studying at work. I decided, after about 6 years in the same old job, to ask my boss if he'd fund me doing an online AAT course. He said if I was going to do it, he wanted me to do it properly, and go to a college. So I got into that, and I've actually really enjoyed taxing my brain. Last year, we had murmurs of redundancy, and combined with me learning all these new things at college yet never getting the chance to use them at work, I ended up looking for and taking another job, which is keeping me really busy. I wouldn't say I absolutely love my job - I work to live, not live to work, but using my studies (and really getting my teeth into this final year, which has been much more difficult) is great, I leave work at the end of the day knowing I've achieved a fair bit, instead of feeling a bit like a trained monkey after a week of data entry. Could be worth looking into, if your job allowed?

I actually did a part time course last year and was fortunate enough to be offered a place in a good university but I turned it down as I'm trying to focus more on getting further in my current career. I could definitely look into studying something related to my job though, great idea!

krlyr wrote: »

Re. the DVDs, do you have anything like Lovefilm/Netflix or similar? We asked a relative to buy us a 3 month trial as a Christmas present, to try out, and we've kept up the subscription since. It's only £7 a month, and the series and films keep us occupied on the nights we fancy plonking on the sofa watching something - we find it good value for money with the amount we use it.

We do have Netflix but my partner and I have a very different taste in films. I'm happy with classics such as Ace Ventura Pet Detective (:rotfl:) and Shawshank Redemption, where as he is more...avant garde??

krlyr wrote: »

Another thing to just mention - I've always found myself quite affected by contraceptives in terms of my mood, they always tend to make me feel a bit 'low' when I first start. I've got the implant now, and I do find I get 'blue days' every once in a while - kind of like PMS I think, though I'm not on a regular cycle so it's not quite the same. I just feel quite down about life in general, but I'm equally aware that they're not really 'my' thoughts as such, just the hormones talking. But you could perhaps look at what you're on, if you are using anything hormonal, and see if your mood ties in with that at all?

This is a very good point. Perhaps I should start tracking my negative feelings to see if there's any kind of pattern to them?

KatieDee

Loz01 wrote: »

I know how you feel OP. Have you considered some kind of light voluntary work of some description? I know this a suggestion that people read and think oh god, no thanks! I used to be a bit like that as well but I now help run a girls football team and I love it. Whoever said imagine a fun weekend, mine would be playing football and encouraging the kids. It's hard to believe a small effort on my part (asking if any teams needed a coach/dogsbody) could lead to something that's such a massive part of my life now!

I am thinking about volunteering for the local Cats Protection League, as I'm a self-confessed crazy cat lady and feel I can give something back and get cat cuddles for my trouble! It's something I can do on a part-time basis as and when I'm needed, which might give me more to focus on.

I was also thinking about signing up to a charity that helps people suffering from dementia. Basically, you receive some training on various types of dementia and ways to improve the lives of those suffering from it, and visit people to keep them company. I thought this was a fantastic idea and I definitely have the time. This thread has spurred me on a bit, so I'll enquire tomorrow