Akward Situation...

quidsy

Same for us, basic clean round & a big clean couple times a year. I'm not talking about personal preferences but actual jobs that need to be done so that the house doesn't become crowded with crap.

Person_one

VestanPance wrote: »

No men lack it. If they are not pulling their weight it's because they are taking the !!!! and getting away with it.

You're right that its not a gene, but its equally not as simple as you're suggesting. Its not nature, but nurture has a lot to answer for!

Person_one

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Chore division also depends on what you see as "essential". We hoover the floors once a week, clean the whole bathroom once a week, do dishes every day, laundry when a full load is available etc.

We are agreed on this.

When Dad cleaned the bathroom, Mum got irritated because he didn't think scrubbing the grout with a toothbrush was necessary. Even now, she works herself up into a frenzy over tiny tasks that don't get done every day, and by doing so, she lands herself with a lot more work.

HBS x

That definitely happens, and its very difficult to quantify. My ex was generally very tidy but didn't think bathrooms really needed cleaning, because of all the soap and water that's in there anyway. When he lived with a flatmate the bathroom got so disgusting there were little black creatures crawling out of the plugs. :eek:

I bet he told people I was unreasonably nagging him over that, and felt much aggrieved at my 'high' expectations.

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

You're right that its not a gene, but its equally not as simple as you're suggesting. Its not nature, but nurture has a lot to answer for!

Having lived in households with adults of both sexes I have come to the conclusion that as well as the standards thing certainly holding water, we see 'our stuff' but 'others' mess'.

Dividing chores in multi fault households can be very difficult as people are on different schedules, like things in a 'different way' and do see things differently.



I have to admit, my husband, who is AMAZING, and the parent who lives with us only managed to Hoover twice the summer I spent almost entirely in bed. I am afraid to say its something we are still hammering out. My DH does WAY more than he should have to IMO, and is only here two days a week

jaylee3

VestanPance wrote: »

Not the ones I know. Most of the guys tend to be the cooks these days and many of them appear to take on the majority of the housework.

It's quite funny listening to a few of them go on about having to tidy up after their messy partners. Maybe it's just guys in my industry that tend to be a bit OCD about tidyness!

:rotfl:LOL as if!

This is not the norm in ANY couple/family I know.

In ANY generation. Women do virtually everything in families where the women are stay at home mums/housewives, and most of everything in the families where the woman works as well.

I have never ever known a family or couple where the man does as much as - or more - than the women, unless she works more hours, which frankly is very rare.

And I am only my 30s! Not someone born back in the day in the first half of the last century!

Methinks you are telling tall stories.

jaylee3

quidsy wrote: »

No need, I am happy with the arrangement but as it went over your head I'll explain again: Men in general have a different awareness on what is necessary to running a household which usually means women pickng up the slack or being called "naggers" for asking them to contribute.

Absolutely true. What makes me laugh is when a man does do a chore, and thinks he is doing the woman a 'favour.' :rotfl:

I have lost count of the amount of times my husband has said 'I've done the washing up for YOU,' or I have put the washing out for YOU, or I have put the bins out for YOU, as if it's my 'duty.' Many people I know say the same.

We both work the same amount of hours BTW.

Izadora

So because your family/friends are all similar to you, someone's posting drivel because their circle of friends are different?

Yes, there are a lot of relationships where the woman is still doing the majority of work in the home but it's also becoming more common for things to be split, if not evenly, at least a bit more fairly.

FBaby

The key point is how housework is done in relation to paid work. Surely the fact that most men would have an expectation that more is done by their partner who either not work or do so on reduced hours is based purely on the basis of division of work rather than sexism.

It does become sexist when both are working full-time (and assuming similar travel to work) and yet he doesn't do much/anything around the house/with the children. Then again, in a number of such cases, there is enough money going around to afford a cleaner/gardener.

FBaby

I have lost count of the amount of times my husband has said 'I've done the washing up for YOU,' or I have put the washing out for YOU, or I have put the bins out for YOU, as if it's my 'duty.' Many people I know say the same.

So do you challenge him when he says that?

Georgiegirl256

jaylee3 wrote: »

Methinks you are telling tall stories.

You've just proven my point in my post no:222! Just because you have never known it doesn't mean that it doesn't happen! It is more common than you think.

My great uncle (god rest his soul) did all the housework, he was very house proud, and the house was immaculate. His wife didn't do anything, even though she wasn't working (sold the family business and retired early) He was fine with this though and wanted to do it because he had very high standards and enjoyed it.

My own husband is very house proud too and will happily pitch in if needs be without being asked.

If you think your husband is taking the P then you need to tell him. Enough of the man bashing!