Akward Situation...

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Person_one wrote: »

The pay gap isn't really something that you can easily spot in most individual workplaces, apart from very obvious and brazen ones!

An example is my profession, nursing. Nurses are on pretty strict pay scales, so I know that a man doing my exact job will be on the same salary, however even though most nurses are women, men are more likely to have the higher paid more senior jobs.

Its insidious, and it exists for a number of reasons. This is a good site to have a read of if you're interested: http://www.closethegap.org.uk/index.php?redir=404

I think I might have a good peruse through that, thank you . FWIW, I've personally heard a few people say it's more prevalent in the public sector - I work in a private sector lab and always have so maybe it's different. That's personal experience though

HBS x

Person_one

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Exactly this ^^^^

I think some of the posters on here have very outdated views regarding a women's role in the household nowadays.

I think some of its realism, or being more willing to admit that there are still inequalities.

My parents are in their fifties, my mum always worked, but she still does basically all the laundry and ironing and the vast majority of the domestic chores. My dad will do them but needs prompting and describes it as 'helping'. They both drive but if they're going somewhere together he always drives, and the loft and the garage are his 'domain'.

They aren't particularly old fashioned, they have generally progressive ideas about gender politics and they raised me to be a pretty vocal (ok, gobby) feminist, but they still find themselves falling into the gender roles that they saw their own parents assuming. I see siblings and friends around my own age doing the same thing too, especially if they've never lived alone.

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I think living alone can be the crux of it sometimes. OH has lived alone and kept a very neat house, and I was housekeeper in a previous relationship.

If you've never lived alone, or always lived with messy people, it will affect your habits

HBS x

VestanPance

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I think I might have a good peruse through that, thank you . FWIW, I've personally heard a few people say it's more prevalent in the public sector - I work in a private sector lab and always have so maybe it's different. That's personal experience though

HBS x

No doubt there are still some shocking pay inequality issues out there. Although most of the people getting payed far less than people do the same job (male or female) tended to be people who negotiated terrible salaries when they started. Most work places will always pay as little in wages as they can get away with.

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

I think some of its realism, or being more willing to admit that there are still inequalities.

Totally, and I acknowledge this (see next to last paragraph in my last post), but other posters need to acknowledge that a lot of relationships nowadays are more equal as well. Most of us aren't 1950's style housewives anymore.

They aren't particularly old fashioned, they have generally progressive ideas about gender politics and they raised me to be a pretty vocal (ok, gobby) feminist, .

Ain't that the truth lol! But there's nothing wrong with that P1!

ETA: Don't know what happened with the colour change on the text above?!

quidsy

VestanPance wrote: »

No, I'm just open the the fact that men do not lack some gentic gene or "awareness" that means they can't run a household. If they aren't contributing it's either that they are being mothered, or they are being allowed to be lazy sods and taking advantge.

that some men do not lack some gentic gene.

but I really do think it isn't as common place as you seem to think it is.

you think, but it is clearly true.

I think some of its realism, or being more willing to admit that there are still inequalities.

Thank you. Just because certain posters aren't aware of the issue, it does actually exist in many relationships. I have not once said this relates to all but the majority of couples, even in the young, fall into this pattern.

quidsy

Quidsy you seem to have quite an old fashion view of the dynamics of a committed relationship

Nope we are about as far from the traditional dynamic in most aspects of our life as you can get. I am the main earner, work more hours, travel alot for business. He works in a low paid unskilled job (outside of his trained profession) in order to balance our family life, taking & collecting our son, giving him tea, homework blahblah, a career sacrifice he is happy to make for the next decade or so till our son can fend for himself. He made the choice in fact when our son was about to go into nursery at 2. Our HH chores are pretty equal in respect of the main jobs, he takes majority of childcare & homework duties due to my working hours but as equal as those things in there are just certain things he would never think of, they could be left & we would look like an episode of hoarders in 6 months but I dont' want to live that way & am always the one insitgating the "extras". Which is fine, he gets on with it when asked, he doesn't know the word for "nag" as it doesn't exist in his language but again, I still do more. Sometimes I just get on with it as it is my nature & other times I ask him to chip in but he wont think of doing without prompting ever. That is his way. I have accepted this about him, my compromise if you will.

So no, not tradition or old fashioned but the fact still remains that in relationships, old & new, many men "allow" women to bear the brunt of the hh running & consider it a "favour" to do their part.

VestanPance

quidsy wrote: »

that some men do not lack some gentic gene.

No men lack it. If they are not pulling their weight it's because they are taking the !!!! and getting away with it.

quidsy

Maybe you speak from experience.

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Chore division also depends on what you see as "essential". We hoover the floors once a week, clean the whole bathroom once a week, do dishes every day, laundry when a full load is available etc.

We are agreed on this.

When Dad cleaned the bathroom, Mum got irritated because he didn't think scrubbing the grout with a toothbrush was necessary. Even now, she works herself up into a frenzy over tiny tasks that don't get done every day, and by doing so, she lands herself with a lot more work.

HBS x