Akward Situation...

VestanPance

Person_one wrote: »

Have any of them gone part time to look after the kids?

I know a couple of lads that are part-time to look after the kids. One guy who is full-time househusband, with a little consultancy business on the side. Although I know he finds it annoying he gets treated like some sort of weirdo pervert everytime he drops his eldest off at school in the morning by the other kids mothers.

heartbreak_star

Person_one wrote: »

Have any of them gone part time to look after the kids?

I've known a few that did - generally it was if they were the lower earner. Makes sense, really

HBS x

VestanPance

quidsy wrote: »

nah, I'm sure everyoine is in a perfect gender balanced relationship where their "parter" does everything equally. Do you know any women,?

Yes, I do plenty of women.

I never said that did I. There will be couples that balance out the household workload with uneven distribution either way. Your example of 1950's woman who does everything while guy sits back was laughable to me, as it doesn't represent any couple that I know.

Person_one

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I've known a few that did - generally it was if they were the lower earner. Makes sense, really

HBS x

Most men don't, that can't be denied, and of course the lower earner is more likely to be the woman, pesky pay gap!

heartbreak_star

VestanPance wrote: »

Although I know he finds it annoying he gets treated like some sort of weirdo pervert everytime he drops his eldest off at school in the morning by the other kids mothers.

That's really sad my Dad always felt a bit like that if he was dropping me off at dance class if Mum was at work.

Most men don't, that can't be denied, and of course the lower earner is more likely to be the woman, pesky pay gap!

Weirdly - it must be the area of work I'm trained in - I've never, ever encountered a pay gap. The only thing that used to drive me potty was in a previous job, when one woman would happily swan off hours early for school play/parents eve/kids docs/whatever and drop all her work on me.

ETA: Industry! That's the word I was thinking of in my industry I've never encountered the pay gap.

HBS x

quidsy

I didn't say the guy sat back & did nothing just that in general women have & still do more than them in the day to day running of the house. That is an actual studied fact.

Originally Posted by VestanPance
Not the ones I know. Most of the guys tend to be the cooks these days and many of them appear to take on the majority of the housework.

appearances can be deceptive. Having a tidy up & cooking food is not the sum of jobs that need doing in a household. My oh does majority childcare, does all the cooking too yet he still does less in terms of all the little things that need doing every day than I do. he works less hours too, yet seems to think himself entitled to more "me" time at the weekend.

VestanPance

quidsy wrote: »

Having a tidy up & cooking food is not the sum of jobs that need doing in a household. My oh does majority childcare, does all the cooking too yet he still does less in terms of all the little things that need doing every day than I do. he works less hours too, yet seems to think himself entitled to more "me" time at the weekend.

Take that up with your OH then if he's not pulling his weight.

BunnieJ

...Woah! Stop posting for a while and the thread went crazy! :eek:

I'm not talking about him protecting the little women I'm talking about the concept that you probably (although he may do it all himself) do most of the housework, cook, do the shopping, buy gifts from both of you are christmas & birthdays etc & the myriad other things that women do to make life more comfortable that men enjoy but would never bother to do themselves. Not to mention he can have sex whenever you agree. Pretty much all his needs catered for right? Without you he would prolly have to do much more for himself. So why would he need to "beleive in marriage" when you give him everything a wife would but with the option to get up & walk away with no ties if he should ever feel like it.

For everyone scoffing at this notion no longer existing: it does. My OH is a shining example of this. I love him, but my gosh does he need constant nagging/reminders/a boot up his behind to do anything round the house! I even had to make him go to the shops and get a card/present for his older brother who was visiting that same day! I'm not saying he's lazy or sexist, it's just the cleanliness of our flat/buying people gifts/remembering significant dates etc seem to fly over his head :rotfl:

This isn't going to be received very well by some, but in my view, it is almost always the woman in the relationship that ends up 'backing down' and compromising.

In many cases, through the whole relationship from start to finish, (married or not,) it seems to be the woman who has to back down, compromise, or change things in her life. Rarely is it the man.

I agree (judging this based on my realationship, I know others might disagree). I was the one that had to move across the country for him when we wanted to live together. At the time we argued, but eventually he persuaded me that - as he had the better career prospects - we should live where he was. I admit, I do enjoy living where I am now and the fact that we're living together, but I often wonder why I just uprooted my life to suit him and not the other way round.

Georgiegirl256

quidsy wrote: »

That's fair enough. I suppose if someone is giving him everything a wife would without the need to offer legitimisation, security & legal rights, why would he think it necessary

Teeny bit patronising there quidsy. :cool:

quidsy

Take that up with your OH then if he's not pulling his weight.

No need, I am happy with the arrangement but as it went over your head I'll explain again: Men in general have a different awareness on what is necessary to running a household which usually means women pickng up the slack or being called "naggers" for asking them to contribute.