Akward Situation...

quidsy

Person_one wrote: »

I think its more than a personal choice actually. I think that any situation that runs so definitively along gender lines is something we should all be aware of and questioning. Tradition is a terrible reason on its own to keep doing anything, there has to be more.

In your opinion . There are pretty much hundreds of thousands (millions?) of women who don't care. No one is forcing all these women to change their name, they want to do so.

heartbreak_star

Person_one wrote: »

Why is it almost always the woman though? Would a man be any less of a person if he changed his name?

One of my ex-colleagues did this, and nobody batted an eyelid.

HBS x

heartbreak_star

quidsy wrote: »

In your opinion . There are pretty much hundreds of thousands (millions?) of women who don't care. No one is forcing all these women to change their name, they want to do so.

I do ponder if some women do feel forced into it by "tradition" or by groom/families.

It seems to be the "expected" thing, to change your name.

HBS x

Person_one

heartbreak_star wrote: »

One of my ex-colleagues did this, and nobody batted an eyelid.

HBS x

Its incredibly rare. I only know one man who changed his name on marriage, and that was because his ex wife had kept 'his' and the new wife didn't want to be one of two 'Mrs X's.

Meanwhile, every time a friend gets married she's changed her name on facebook before they've even cut the cake!

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

I think its more than a personal choice actually. I think that any situation that runs so definitively along gender lines is something we should all be aware of and questioning. Tradition is a terrible reason on its own to keep doing anything, there has to be more.

I've always felt luckier that I could use both where as he only kept his.

Though, if I had known I'd never go back to work or do anything much again I would have just swapped every thing over for simplicity.

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

Its incredibly rare. I only know one man who changed his name on marriage, and that was because his ex wife had kept 'his' and the new wife didn't want to be one of two 'Mrs X's.

Meanwhile, every time a friend gets married she's changed her name on facebook before they've even cut the cake!

I know quite a few women who have kept their own names, either all the time or professionally. I know of couples who have become something together.


I really didn't see the need. My mil kept her name, my smil, kept her name, my bil's wife kept her name so I am the only mrs rates. There is only one child so far. ( hope some one has a nother at least!) such a huge family and we've petered out drastically,) that has a double barrelled name, which will probably lose family name in future. Does it matter? Nope. Child is healthy, wanted. That matters.

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

That's not quite what it means, although it is part of it. Its the assumption that being a man somehow means your opinion is more valuable and important and that you're here to set the ladies straight on their funny ideas.

I get that, but I seriously don't think that's what TW has done.

TW keeps going on about how he's providing a 'male opinion' but the only 'male opinion' that's likely to be of any more use than anybody else's is that of the OP's boyfriend.

I think it is of use though. He's basically trying to explain that is how his mind works, that is how he thinks, and so maybe, it might just be the way the OP's BF is thinking too. He's not saying that one size fits all, and that's how all men think, but rather offering a different POV that he thought might be relevant, and IMO it is.
.

I think his latest (and very long!) post explains everything very well, and I can't see why people are taking offence?

Georgiegirl256

@TW, you think 5K is ouch! That's nothing compared to some figures! :eek: Remember, only 1K of that was spent on the wedding, the other 3.5K to 4K was spent on the honeymoon (present off parents), so as you can see, a wedding can be as cheap or as expensive as you choose it to be.

fufu_banterwaite

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

@TW, you think 5K is ouch! That's nothing compared to some figures!

Exactly! I am running 84kms on 13 July!!!

gruffalosgirl

I'm taking his surname because I've never particularly liked my surname so I'm ok with having a new one lol! We have 2 children with OH's surname and I've had 8 years of having a different surname to mine and while nobody even bats an eyelid and it's not a big deal I'd like to have the same surname as them. I do admit tho after 35 years of having my name it will feel really strange to be called something different and I have had a slight wobble about it but I'm quite excited about it now! I can understand the not wanting to give up your identity but I'll still be me!