and his world has come crashing down

RuthnJasper

Meesha.P wrote: »

i was just thinking after reading the last few. i cant trust her shes as bad as he is. its just driving me crazy not knowing but do i need to know i dont feel i do now. its just the thoughts of doing some thing wrong thinking this is my fault. it is not my fault hes a !!!!! that is the way he is. i'm better than them both. by getting so involved the way i am i'm just bringing myself to there level. i think i need to get away from this for abit to clear my head from this !!!!.

You're right, sweetie. And you are not on their level - you are worth so much more than that. Let the pair of them stew together in the foul mess they've made and hold your head up with pride and the knowledge that you haven't done anything wrong. xx

Meesha.P

some one said i'm vulnerable and i am. the longer i keep talking to him the more messed up i'm going to be. i did'nt say on here but i told him i still love him. i'm being so stupid i need to ignore him and her and tell them both to !!!! off. they hurt me and its talking to them that is hurting me more.

Meesha.P

RuthnJasper wrote: »

You're right, sweetie. And you are not on their level - you are worth so much more than that. Let the pair of them stew together in the foul mess they've made and hold your head up with pride and the knowledge that you haven't done anything wrong. xx

i'm so glad i just let this out. my thoughts was clouded. my parents are going a way for the bank holiday and said me and my daughter can come but i said no. i'm going to go now a few days a way will help.

RuthnJasper

Meesha.P wrote: »

some one said i'm vulnerable and i am. the longer i keep talking to him the more messed up i'm going to be. i did'nt say on here but i told him i still love him. i'm being so stupid i need to ignore him and her and tell them both to !!!! off. they hurt me and its talking to them that is hurting me more.

You are NOT stupid. It is very early days and you have suffered incredible hurt. There is a grieving process - in some ways, this sort of situation is worse than losing someone when they die; in almost all cases a loved one doesn't deliberately choose to die.

Here's a link to some advice about grief and the grieving process: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm. Hope it helps. Don't try to "get over it" too soon - go at your own pace, and DON'T beat yourself up if you have off days or periods of crying. This is normal (unfortunately).

None of this is your fault and you are not, never ever, stupid for being distressed at what has happened. xx

thorsoak

Meesha.P wrote: »

some one said i'm vulnerable and i am. the longer i keep talking to him the more messed up i'm going to be. i did'nt say on here but i told him i still love him. i'm being so stupid i need to ignore him and her and tell them both to !!!! off. they hurt me and its talking to them that is hurting me more.

Meesha - as you say, his world has come crashing down BUT this is where your world starts to build up and flourish! He cheated on you - end of. You do not need explanations or excuses - you know he did, there is absolutely reason or excuse for it - and nor do you need to meet his bit on the side - even if she is carrying his child/your daughter's half-sibling. They will meet eventually - there is no need to prolong your rawness by making her your BF - or even knowing her. She was aware that he was in a relationship, so there is no excuse for her to cheat with another woman's partner.

Close the facebook account - or at the very least block him, block her, block his number on your phone -you can arrange access for your daughter through his family - you don't need to talk to him at all.

Just start planning for the future for you and your daughter .....where will you take her for your holiday this year? x

RuthnJasper

Meesha.P wrote: »

i'm so glad i just let this out. my thoughts was clouded. my parents are going a way for the bank holiday and said me and my daughter can come but i said no. i'm going to go now a few days a way will help.

That's a great idea. See? You're not stupid at all! I'm sure a few days away will do you the world of good, and it'll be lovely for your little girl to have some time with her mum and her grandparents.

Come along on here and have a 'rant' any time you need to.

Take care, and have a lovely holiday. xx (P.S. And don't answer any of his calls or texts while you're away. )

flashnazia

So the other woman is pregnant.
Nobody seems to think of the children. Borne out of lust and raised in broken homes. Depressing.

Good luck op. Don't contact him. Just don't.

baby_frogmella

Meesha.P wrote: »

even though my heart aches and i feel empty inside i have found myself smiling at his fall. my sister updated my facebook to say i'm single due to my cheating fiance. hes been sending messages on my facebook and calling telling me he loves me and wants me back and he only cheated once on me and his bit on the side is nothing to him but a easy lay. she saw what he said and told me and everyone on his facebook the truth. it hurt like hell knowing he cheated me for over a year and knowing she is 14 weeks pregnant to him but i dont hate her we are victims to him and his lies. all his friends had a go at him on facebook and no longer want to know him. he only has 13 friends left on facebook his bit on the side hates him and his family have offered to support me if he tries seek custady of our daughter. i'm meeting with his bit on the side tommorow to find out every thing hes said and done and as she will be mother to my daughters half brother or sister i feel we need to support each other. hes the snake who has caused this mess.

Why does your life revolve around facebook?

azzabazza

Meesha.P wrote: »

i'm so glad i just let this out. my thoughts was clouded. my parents are going a way for the bank holiday and said me and my daughter can come but i said no. i'm going to go now a few days a way will help.

This is the very best thing you can do just now. It will give you time with your parents and time to try and get your thoughts in a better place.

Mojisola

Please don't expect any honesty from the other woman.

You said -
"i really believe he is cheating on me with a work colleague of his. he is to close for comfort with this colleague. when we go out on a night out he spends all his time with her and they are always laughing and messing about with together.

she is in our house every morning as they walk to work together

she always dogs me up as well and comments on all his fb photo's except any photo's that i'm in with him."

She knew he was living with you and that you have a child together and she still slept with him.

If she thinks he is going to treat her any differently, she's probably mistaken.