Heartbroken - just need to talk

Brighton_belle

tayforth wrote: »

Thanks, FBaby.

Similar to your story, this guy was so keen at the start, always wanting to call me, text me and see me. I was the one who was holding back just a little bit, and trying not to jump in with both feet. But eventually, I did. I trusted him, and opened up, and fell for him. And now I feel so so sad, and foolish.

I'm crying in the office again.

Please don't feel foolish that you were open honest and trusting - these are wonderful qualities that good men cherish.
And it doesn't necessarily mean that a man who declares love very early on is just as likely to fall out of love quickly - my now DH told me he loved me pretty early on and never wavered from that and we are now married several years down the line.


It doesn't look good when a man doesn't communicate for 3 weeks though - all very strange. A man who is keen wouldn't do that without very good reason. I hope you get a decent explanation. I feel very sad that this has happened for you.

dancingfairy

Oh no Big hugs. I followed your initial thread and was so pleased you'd escaped and started to rebuild your life. (You have a lot of supporters).
My gut feeling is that the accident wasn't very long ago and may have had a big impact on him and he doesn't want to burden you with it all but it's impossible to tell from here. I only wish he would open up to you so at least you knew where you stood
I hope things improve.
df

themull1

It sounds like there is someone at home looking after him. Delete his mobile number and ignore him. You will find someone better, and yes, i'm talking from experience!! Don't keep ringing and sounding needy on the phone, nothing worse.

spirit

Tay,

Do you mind me asking how you first met him? How much do you know about him? Did you meet his family/friends? When you went out, did you meet out somwhere or go to each others houses?

Sorry for all the questions.

System

But eventually, I did. I trusted him, and opened up, and fell for him. And now I feel so so sad, and foolish.

One day the right man will appreciate your trust, your openness and honesty. Its a requirement needed in great quantities in a good relationship. Nothing sad and foolish about that.

tesuhoha

The way I see it is that if he is the kind of guy who blows hot and cold then you are better off knowing now before the relationship goes any further. This type of behaviour is another form of abuse unless of course it has been caused by the accident.

If he is treating you like this intentionally then honestly you are better off without him because any relationship would probably continue in this pattern if he has any kind of problem as it seems he has the capacity to withdraw from you.

Otherwise it could be the head injury that has affected him and if this is the case it may impact on other areas of his life such as work. Do you know where he works?

I'm very sorry to hear about this as it sounded as if you had found happiness at last but please don't give up on men. The right one is out there for you somewhere. xxx

lostinrates

I don't think any of us can really guess what he feels / might be doing. I'm not going to try to. I will only say in your shoes I would not make another attempt at contact now, see what happens.


But.....

There is good news in this tayforth. Part of your 'you' ness and the bits needed for future love, buts you thought might be bruised beyond repair still work.


I'd also ask if with these trusting, loving bits of yourself working, will you hand them over to someone who texts and doesn't answer your calls? Really?

spirit

lostinrates wrote: »

I don't think any of us can really guess what he feels / might be doing. I'm not going to try to. I will only say in your shoes I would not make another attempt at contact now, see what happens.


But.....

There is good news in this tayforth. Part of your 'you' ness and the bits needed for future love, buts you thought might be bruised beyond repair still work.


I'd also ask if with these trusting, loving bits of yourself working, will you hand them over to someone who texts and doesn't answer your calls? Really?

cracking post LIR :T

System

I'd also ask if with these trusting, loving bits of yourself working, will you hand them over to someone who texts and doesn't answer your calls? Really?

I couldn't have put it better myself. :T

tayforth

I've been out all evening with a friend (bit of distraction), and am so touched to read all your comments. You've made me blub again, you're so kind.

I'll reply individually in a second xx