Heartbroken - just need to talk

purpleshoes_2

FBaby wrote: »

You have taken the stand of having no contact with him, and that has worked out to be the best way to deal with the situation. You need to stick to it now. Asking him to pay for his half will only show the resentment you've done so well to keep away as doing so will not bring you any satisfying outcome.

You had not mentioned that you had planned a trip together, that's a significant event which puts more weight as to why you considered this relationship to be a serious one that was blooming hence allowing you to believe that it could lead to more.

I hope whatever information you've received will only be another piece of the puzzle that will help you turn one more page towards coming out of the other side where the pain is finally gone.

Tbh I would ask for the money and doing so with someone wouldnt be resentment on my part, just a question, could you give me the money you owe me. If the OP finds someone to go on the holiday, fine, but even if she does, shes looking at paying money to get a flight change or being out of pocket if a friend cant fly from the same airport.

I would also think that whatever response she might get to a text or email asking for said cash might be more validation that the guy is indeed a complete !!!!, although I think thats fairly obvious.

If someone waltzed out of a relationship the way he has, owing me a couple of hundred quid plus and had texted me, Id have responded saying that they forgot to mention the money owed and would it be possible to be reimbursed.

Even if the answer is a no, you're making your point. I appreciate that not everyone will feel the same, something like ten quid is easily written off, 3 figures is a bit harder to deal with.

It is rotten and hes rotten for not even mentioning it.

Primrose

Well you could send him a copy of the invoice, ask him to reimburse you and wait and see what happens. It should take the smile off his face for the smug text he sent you and have him worrying that you might be suing him for it in a civil court. His response will at least show you the sort of person he really is and that may well help to change your perception of him. I'm not suggesting that you would sue him in the small claims court for the money but just as a matter of interest, do you have any texting evidence that he agreed to pay his share?

Person_one

tayforth wrote: »

There's one more issue I would appreciate your thoughts on.

Four days before the accident (or 'the accident'), we booked a trip away for later in the summer. He was super keen on the idea, and talked about it a lot, saying that he couldn't wait and we should get it booked soon. Anyway, because it's a place that I know and he doesn't, I ended up booking it. He said that he'd give me half the money... and obviously he hasn't.

Some of my friends say that I should ask him for it, and some say just to leave it.

What do you lot think?

Being blunt again (sorry!) whatever you decide do it soon, do it decisively and don't turn this into another issue to spend weeks agonising about and dragging the situation on.

pinkladyof66

yes i think text saying when can i expect my money ! just keep it blunt and sharp

Melonade

pinkladyof66 wrote: »

yes i think text saying when can i expect my money ! just keep it blunt and sharp

I agree, but if you do text him don't be drawn into a conversation with him. For one reason he might try and use it to get off the topic of the holiday money he owes. For another reason, he isn't worth it.

I havent really replied on here but I hope your doing ok. You've had some great advice from everyone and I hope it's helping you.

paigesaunt

I have been following Tay's story but until now not felt the need to comment, everyone is doing fantastically well of keeping her going. I do however agree that she should ask him for the money, a short and polite text with her bank details (nothing else, maybe thanks for your text, but that's all) for him to pay in the money, make it by a certain date, so you know one way or the other, rather than be waiting and wondering.

Should he have a conscience he'll pay it, bonus! if he doesn't, then in my opinion Tay will have a little less feeling for this bloke, even if she doesn't think she will at this time.
I think this will tell him, she's not prepared to be anyone's doormat, and that she's not interested in his sniffling excuses.

Sorry Tay, sounds like I'm directing it at the reader, not you
X

Caroline_a

Personally I wouldn't ask for the money. It almost gives him a carte blanche to assume he's back in favour and off on holiday with Tay...

purpleshoes_2

Caroline_a wrote: »

Personally I wouldn't ask for the money. It almost gives him a carte blanche to assume he's back in favour and off on holiday with Tay...

I wouldnt assume so. He owes her for his share and if she doesn't find anyone else to take his place she's going to be well out of pocket, it would have been the decent thing to do to offer to reimburse her but as he's clearly not going to, I'd politely ask him for the money he owes.

Primrose

Yes I do think his conscience needs to be pricked and a request for the money might help to bring home to him the ungallant way he has behaved. It may also give him some uncomfortable moments fearing he may be pursued for it. Why should Tayforth be the only person who has suffered?

System

How about a quick text something along the lines of 'how about refunding me £000 towards the holiday that I booked and paid for for the two of us?


If he responds then so be it.