Heartbroken - just need to talk

tea_lover

:grouphug::kisses3::grouphug::coffee:

juliebunny

I've only read the start and end of this thread, but take it from me - it's actually good to have really bad days because it only gets better from there!

It's not uncommon to throw yourself too heavily into a new RS after a LT break up - you over invest in them too quickly and project your expections onto them rather than seeing what they are actually like. Some men are stupid, they don't deal with problems they just vanish, and quite honestly I'm through with all that cave man bull 'retreating into their caves' and blocking out the people who love them. If a man isn't emotionally mature enough to discuss his problems with his so called partner, then he's never going to stand by your side when you have problems. You've had a lucky escape here, kick him to the curb, take care of yourself, get busy, spend some time on your own and with friends.

I could recommend some very good self help books regarding Relationships (please PM me if you're interested) and there are some great sites out there that mean you will never ever have to spend another weekend sat in on your own.

Try this one - nearly everyone on it seems to be on their own when they turn up to events - www.meetup.com

System

I'm through with all that cave man bull 'retreating into their caves' and blocking out the people who love them. If a man isn't emotionally mature enough to discuss his problems with his so called partner, then he's never going to stand by your side when you have problems.

I agree, retreating is a cowards way out. I often retreat temporarily when given a difficult set of circumstances but its only to stop myself saying something I might regret later.

Facing issues head on is the only way to go.

spirit

(((hugs)))

tayforth

tea_lover wrote: »

:grouphug::kisses3::grouphug::coffee:

spirit wrote: »

(((hugs)))

Thank you. They may be virtual hugs (and tea) but they mean a lot to me right now xxx

tayforth

juliebunny wrote: »

I've only read the start and end of this thread, but take it from me - it's actually good to have really bad days because it only gets better from there!

It's not uncommon to throw yourself too heavily into a new RS after a LT break up - you over invest in them too quickly and project your expections onto them rather than seeing what they are actually like. Some men are stupid, they don't deal with problems they just vanish, and quite honestly I'm through with all that cave man bull 'retreating into their caves' and blocking out the people who love them. If a man isn't emotionally mature enough to discuss his problems with his so called partner, then he's never going to stand by your side when you have problems. You've had a lucky escape here, kick him to the curb, take care of yourself, get busy, spend some time on your own and with friends.

I could recommend some very good self help books regarding Relationships (please PM me if you're interested) and there are some great sites out there that mean you will never ever have to spend another weekend sat in on your own.

Try this one - nearly everyone on it seems to be on their own when they turn up to events - www.meetup.com

Thanks very much, juliebunny. That's really kind of you. You're right - he probably wouldn't have stood by me if things got difficult for either of us. And I know, it is better to go through this now than suffer even more pain later.

I will PM you about the books xxx

Judi wrote: »

I agree, retreating is a cowards way out. I often retreat temporarily when given a difficult set of circumstances but its only to stop myself saying something I might regret later.

Facing issues head on is the only way to go.

You're right, Judi. It is cowardly. He could have talked honestly to me. He chose to behave in a deceitful and hurtful way instead.

It's his loss, and I deserve better.

jackieblack

tayforth wrote: »

It's his loss, and I deserve better.

Oh, you are so right, Tayforth
Never has a truer word been said
I'm so pleased you see this

Please don't let this guy de-rail you, you've come so far in the last year

tayforth

jackieblack wrote: »

Oh, you are so right, Tayforth
Never has a truer word been said
I'm so pleased you see this

Please don't let this guy de-rail you, you've come so far in the last year

Thank you, jackieblack. I suppose I'm only seeing what you have all been saying to me for weeks xxx

tayforth

There's one more issue I would appreciate your thoughts on.

Four days before the accident (or 'the accident'), we booked a trip away for later in the summer. He was super keen on the idea, and talked about it a lot, saying that he couldn't wait and we should get it booked soon. Anyway, because it's a place that I know and he doesn't, I ended up booking it. He said that he'd give me half the money... and obviously he hasn't.

Some of my friends say that I should ask him for it, and some say just to leave it.

What do you lot think?

Morglin

Leave it, chalk it up to experience, move on.

Lin