Heartbroken - just need to talk

tea_lover

Hugs Tay. We're here for you if you want to share but please, please know that this is completely your decision. You don't 'owe' anybody here any explanations or anything like that.

I've been on forums previously where posters were really hounded for not following up on threads they'd started. Sometimes people lose sight that this is someone's actual life... not a soap put on for their entertainment.

Hope you're ok xx.

rainbowfairydust

Hi Tayforth

I have been lurking on your thread for the last week as i am getting over a rejection too. Like you he has been on my mind all the time for the last few weeks. Sometimes i am fine but then other times i can feel all my emotion springs pinging ( like at this moment in time) and i hurt.

I keep telling myself it will be fine etc etc etc but its difficult when i am still encountering him every day (pretty much). I want to just block him out, and not see him again which at the moment isnt going to happen any time soon. It is a difficult situation to be in as i just want to go & lick my wounds. . Then i think i could move on but to be have to see him all the time makes this harder.

I have taken great comfort from other peoples words of advice on this thread and from quotes on pintrest (about broken hearts/inner strength etc ) -

I hope that you are feeling a little better today - you are in my thoughts, and sending you a massive virtual hug. Like others i am familiar with your previous thread and its amazing that you have walked away from such an abusive marriage. You can get over this idiot - like i will ( at some stage). Just allow your heart to heal slowly - its a good idea to keep busy. I am trying to do the same.

xxx

ETA - I am also writing a letter to him of how i am feeling - it is helping me to organise my thoughts and feelings towards him. I am in 2 minds as to whether to email him or not - not that it would help matters but i think it would make me feel better . I would also not respond to his text message - too much has happened for anything to ever change.

Person_one

tayforth wrote: »

I have something to tell you all, but I've been kind of in shock and not really able to share it yet.

He texted me. Completely out of the blue, on Monday evening.

And...?

Its been what, a month since you heard from him, and you only met a month or two before that?

This is not some great romance Tay, this is not the key to your future happiness.

Block that number, get to a counsellor and start learning how to be happy on your own. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but your response to this 'relationship' just doesn't seem at all healthy to me.

aileth

Totally understand about not wanting to share, Tay.

I suppose the content on his message depends if you'll want to message him back, especially given what a rollercoaster he has put you through, but I'm guessing by the way you've phrased it that it's not a happy text.

Love and hugs, Tay xxx

spirit

tayforth wrote: »

Maybe I just need some time on my own to heal xx

this 1000% percent.

well, on your own relationship wise, not friends wise.

Zully

spirit wrote: »

this 1000% percent.

well, on your own relationship wise, not friends wise.

This, totally and utterly, I attempted to deal with my breakup on my own, I suffered for 2 whole months in relative silence refusing to confide in anyone close to me at the risk of seeming weak or a failure. it tore me apart, if it upsets you lean on your friends and family, no matter how trivial it seems or even how little you think they can help, if it is affecting you its important, any true friend will take it on board and try to help, just try to spread it around and don't rely too hard on just one person or you become dependant and potentially make your relationship with that person about your problems, just don't do it alone.

tayforth

tea_lover wrote: »

Hugs Tay. We're here for you if you want to share but please, please know that this is completely your decision. You don't 'owe' anybody here any explanations or anything like that.

I've been on forums previously where posters were really hounded for not following up on threads they'd started. Sometimes people lose sight that this is someone's actual life... not a soap put on for their entertainment.

Hope you're ok xx.

Thank you, tea lover. That's very kind. I will share it if I feel able to xxx

rainbowfairydust wrote: »

Hi Tayforth

I have been lurking on your thread for the last week as i am getting over a rejection too. Like you he has been on my mind all the time for the last few weeks. Sometimes i am fine but then other times i can feel all my emotion springs pinging ( like at this moment in time) and i hurt.

I keep telling myself it will be fine etc etc etc but its difficult when i am still encountering him every day (pretty much). I want to just block him out, and not see him again which at the moment isnt going to happen any time soon. It is a difficult situation to be in as i just want to go & lick my wounds. . Then i think i could move on but to be have to see him all the time makes this harder.

I have taken great comfort from other peoples words of advice on this thread and from quotes on pintrest (about broken hearts/inner strength etc ) -

I hope that you are feeling a little better today - you are in my thoughts, and sending you a massive virtual hug. Like others i am familiar with your previous thread and its amazing that you have walked away from such an abusive marriage. You can get over this idiot - like i will ( at some stage). Just allow your heart to heal slowly - its a good idea to keep busy. I am trying to do the same.

xxx

ETA - I am also writing a letter to him of how i am feeling - it is helping me to organise my thoughts and feelings towards him. I am in 2 minds as to whether to email him or not - not that it would help matters but i think it would make me feel better . I would also not respond to his text message - too much has happened for anything to ever change.

(((Hugs))) rainbowfairydust. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. Is there any way of not seeing him every day? That must be very hard for you.

Feel free to share any positive quotes that have helped you and I will do the same.

And thank you for the kind words about my previous thread xxx

Person_one wrote: »

And...?

Its been what, a month since you heard from him, and you only met a month or two before that?

This is not some great romance Tay, this is not the key to your future happiness.

Block that number, get to a counsellor and start learning how to be happy on your own. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but your response to this 'relationship' just doesn't seem at all healthy to me.

Before Monday, it was three weeks since I'd heard from him.

I know, it's not like me at all.

I've been trying to work out why I've been so affected by this.

Perhaps it's because I'm still healing after my marriage breakup.

Perhaps it's because, rather than doing the decent thing and breaking up with me like a normal person, he chose to put me through weeks of worrying about him (and I'm not even sure that any of his stories in the last few weeks were true) and then breaking off contact, only to get in touch again with a very confusing text. So I haven't been able to process it all properly. And I feel foolish and manipulated if I've been lied to, because I worried needlessly.

Primrose

Tay, we can only speculate what he said and that's private to you. However relieved you are to hear from him, I would make it clear that you are angry for the disrespectful way he treated you and if he had a genuine reason for his silence it had better be a jolly good one because you you are never going to be prepared to be treated like that again. Maybe he was panic struck at getting in too deeply too quickly. Whatever action you take, or don't take, make sure it is well considered first. Only you can make up your mind. I suspect you may well be unable to resist giving this relationship a second chance. If that's s the case, make him really prove that he understands in future how you expect to be treated. If he IS genuine, he will listen to the message.

sulphate

tayforth wrote: »

Thank you for the recommendation, sulphate. I'm sorry that you went through all that, I hope that this book helped you. What was the most important message you learned from it?

Thanks for the hugs as well xxx

Sorry for the late reply. I guess what helped me was the encouragement not to wallow, "put the ice cream down" and move on with my life. Plus the book is funny, and helps you see the good side of the situation.

CH27

tayforth wrote: »

I have something to tell you all, but I've been kind of in shock and not really able to share it yet.

He texted me. Completely out of the blue, on Monday evening.

Did you get any answers?